What about the biggest selling Mcdonalds burger of the eighties.... (sensitive types better not read on)Originally Posted by Lynda Blair
The McJackson, 33yr old meat between 12yr old buns.
Nana
What about the biggest selling Mcdonalds burger of the eighties.... (sensitive types better not read on)
The McJackson, 33yr old meat between 12yr old buns.
Forum whore
Right
Two old pensioners are taking a trip down memory lane by going back to the place where they first met.
Sitting at a cafe, the little old man says, "Remember the first time I met you over 50 years ago? We left this cafe, went round the corner behind the gas works, and I gave you one from behind."
Why, yes, I remember it well, dear," replies the little old lady with a grin.
"Well", said the little old man, "for old time's sake, let's go there again,and I'll give you one from behind."
The two pensioners pay their bill and leave the cafe.
A young man sitting next to them has overheard the conversation and smiles to himself, thinking it would be quite amusing to see two old pensioners at it. He gets up and follows them.
Sure enough, he sees the two pensioners near the gas works. The little old lady steps out of her drawers and lifts up her dress.
The old man pulls down his pants and grabs the lady's hips, and the little old lady reaches for the fence.
Well, what follows is 20 minutes of the most athletic sex the young man has ever seen.
The little old man is banging away at the little old woman at a pace that can only be described as phenomenal.
Limbs are flying everywhere, the movement is a blur, and they do not stop for a single second.
Finally, they collapse and don't move for an hour.
Well, the young man is stunned.
Never in his life has he ever seen anything that equates to this, not in the movies, not from his friends, not from his own experiences.
Reflecting on what he has just seen, he says to himself, "I have to know his secret. If only I could shag like that now, let alone in 50 years time!"
The two old pensioners have by this time recovered and dressed themselves.
Plucking up courage, the young man approaches the pensioner. He says,
"Sir, in all my life I have never seen anybody shag like that, particularly at your age. What's your secret? Could you shag like that 50 years ago?"
The pensioner replies, "Son, 50 years ago, that fucking fence wasn't
electrified!!!"
“- He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it.”
Geriatric hippie
Funny thing is, he wrote lots of songs about cars, then died in one. But he wasn't driving - he was scared of driving so never learned to do it. T'were his girlfriend, Gloria Jones, who planted the purple mini in a tree.Young manMarc Bolan was lead singer of a band called T Rex who died after planting his mini in a lrage oak tree. I shall now remove the hook from my lip.
ACC - It's where the Enron accountants all went.
.
What's the last thing to go through a bumblebee's mind as he hits your visor at 200+kph?
His asshole.
Fair weather rider
A girl is about to tie the knot, and is watching her mother bake biscuits in the kitchen.
"Mom?" she asks. "How do you keep Dad so happy after all these years of marriage?"
The mother promptly threw a wad of biscuit dough on the floor, hikes up her dress, and squats down picking the dough up with her fanny.
"Practice this and when you can do it, I'll guarantee that your man will be satisfied for the rest of his life," said her mother.
So the girl practiced and practiced until her wedding night.
While her anxious husband waited for her in the bed, she emerged wearing a sexy negligee, carrying a can of biscuit dough. She opened the can, threw the dough on the floor, lifted her negligee, and squatted over the dough, letting out a thunderous fart as she did so.
Her husband, startled, jumped from the bed and backed away.
"What's wrong, honey?" she asked.
He replied, "Shit woman!" as he stepped further away. "If that thing barks like that for a biscuit, I sure as hell don't want to throw any meat at it!"
Deus ex ukulele
I thought it was his sting...
"Standing on your mother's corpse you told me that you'd wait forever." [Bryan Adams: Summer of 69]
Moped rider
ROTFLMAO. Beautiful.
Tight buns
Two more sickies..
What's the definition of blood brothers? Two abortions in a bucket.
What's red a nd crawls up women's legs? Homesick abortion.
Legalise anarchy
Nana
"Tie a purple mini round the old oak tree....."
Nana
What do a Gynacologist, a lawyer and a tampon have in common?
There all without purpose unless they are stuck up c%^#s.
Nana
Whats the difference between a pub and a clitoris?
A man can find a pub in the dark in under 5 mins.
Nana
Washing machine.
Dishwasher.
Fridge.
Stove.
Woman.
Which is the odd one out and why?
Forum whore
Q:What is better than winning a medal at the Special Olympics?
Q:Not being retarded
Q. What's the definition of macho?
A. Jogging home from your own vasectomy.
Q. How can you tell if you're at a bulemic bachelor party?
A. The cake jumps out of the girl.
Q. How do the little boys at Michael Jackson's ranch know when
it is bedtime?
A. When the big hand touches the little hand...
Q. Why is divorce so expensive?
A. Because it's worth it
Gee, you can just go on & on & on...............
“- He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it.”
Forum whore
He (Nemos dad) finished up a joke "with anemones like these who needs fronds" (or words to that effect) - is that the one you were recalling?
Tight buns
LMAO, yes....I did manage to watch the last chapter on the DVD and found it. If you look back you'll see I posted it....but even better was Hitcher's punchline....go and have a look.
Legalise anarchy
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