(This one was more topical a few years back)
The makers of KY Jelly developed a Year 2000 compliant version - they called it Y2KY. It allowed you to insert 4 digits into your date.
Forum whore
(This one was more topical a few years back)
The makers of KY Jelly developed a Year 2000 compliant version - they called it Y2KY. It allowed you to insert 4 digits into your date.
2 peanuts walked in to a bar. they weren't looking for any trouble, but one was a salted
.
errr....I don't get this. Can someone explain it please? (I was waiting for someone else to ask, but I must be the only thick one)Originally Posted by Big Dog
old enough to know better
Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says,
"You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!"
His buddy looks at him and says,
"Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door,storm up the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed,slap her on the butt and say, 'You as horny as I am?' . . . and, she's always sound asleep!"
4 wheels move the body
2 wheels move the soul
old enough to know better
Couldn't resist this one!
Did you ever stop to wonder what would happen if your
dog's name was Mypenis?
- Mypenis ate my homework.
- Sorry I'm late. I was playing with Mypenis.
- I'm sorry, Officer. I didn't realize I had to keep
Mypenis on a leash.
- Mypenis doesn't come when I call it.
- Mypenis likes to crawl between the legs of guests.
- I love giving Mypenis a bath.
- At night, I sleep with Mypenis in my hands.
- Mypenis likes it when people pet him.
- Mypenis needs to get more exercise. He weighs over fifty pounds!
- Playing with Mypenis really wears me out.
- Would you like to see a picture of Mypenis?
- Sometimes I wake up, and Mypenis is already active.
- I think Mypenis has a mind of its own.
- I keep a picture of Mypenis in my wallet.
- Whenever I get lost, Mypenis points me in the right direction.
- I think Mypenis is getting old because he won't get excited anymore.
He just plays dead.
- Mypenis got out last night. I think he's sleeping with
the lady next door.
- Mypenis loves to chase pussies in dark alleys.
- Help! I can't find Mypenis!
- Sorry to be driving so slow, officer, but I was
looking for Mypenis.
- Mypenis gets excited whenever the mailman comes.
4 wheels move the body
2 wheels move the soul
Nana
I was hoping some answers would be forthcoming as it works better as a joke when people try to answer first.
Nana
The stove the rest leak on the floor when f*^&ed.
Nana
What does wife mean?
Washing,
Ironing,
Fucking,
Entertainment.
Nana
Why do women wear white to their wedding?
So that they will match the rest of the appliances.
Nana
How do you get a modern african american woman who is a part the womens lib movement to pick cotton?
Light the string to Oprahs tampon.
Nana
Why are Indians so crap at soccer?
Every time they get a corner they have to build a dairy on it.
Deus ex ukulele
Phew!! I hope that the race relations/human rights commissioner doesn't ride a motorbike...
"Standing on your mother's corpse you told me that you'd wait forever." [Bryan Adams: Summer of 69]
Nana
Ok to get back on track.........
Why do elephants have four feet?
Because four inches could never satisfy a female elephant. :sly:
Deus ex ukulele
Elephant jokes... Woo hoo!!
Q: What's grey and comes in pints??
A: (figure it out guys)
Q: What's yellow and goes "click click"
A: A ballpoint banana (no, not a Japanese tourist)
Q: What's brown and sounds like a bell?
A: Dung!
Q: What's green and carries a briefcase? (this one will date me)
A: Mucus Welby
Q: What's purple and sings?
A: Kiri te Kumera
Q: What's green and sings?
A: Elvis Parsley
Q: Who was purple and conquered the known world?
A: Alexander the Grape
Q: What's red and bounces?
A: A rubber tomato
Q: What's green, flat and has a wheel in each corner?
A: A lawn (I lied about the wheels)
...(waits for death threats)...
"Standing on your mother's corpse you told me that you'd wait forever." [Bryan Adams: Summer of 69]
Nana
No they would go "crick crick"
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