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Thread: Survival skills - Mental wellbeing rather than biking per se

  1. #1
    Join Date
    24th November 2015 - 11:20
    Aprilia Caponord 1200
    Blenheim and Welly

    Survival skills - Mental wellbeing rather than biking per se

    Morning All

    I'll admit to a wee bit of inspiration this morning, having read Katiepie's posts about her recovery and the struggles she's been through on her road to recovery. Apologies in advance as this isn't directly related to biking though my riding has certainly helped me get out of this particular hole...

    In Nov last year I posted to a new shore-based position at work having served at sea during the second half of 2021. I was standing in for a colleague who had taken paternity leave and I was at the top of very short list of people to help out. Still, it's what we get paid for and going to Singapore for a few months to dock a ship has its attractions... Even during COVID

    On my return I was informed by my new boss that an individual had levelled a complaint/s against me and as such the promotion I was expecting (That goes with the new position) would be put on hold until the matter was resolved. I was given no detail as to the nature of the complaint/allegations made against me, despite asking for as much detail as I could get hold of, and told that the investigative process would take an indeterminate amount of time. This was the first that I had heard of this - Even my Commanding Officer on board had been given no indication that this was going to happen.

    Needless to say you could have knocked me down with a feather at this point.

    Acting on advice I enlisted the services of a solicitor to help me navigate this particular minefield as I was totally inexperienced in such matters. One of the first things he advised me to do was to submit a formal request to get hold of the details of the allegations made against me so that we could prepare a written response as and when it was called for. This was the first time in my life that I've had to resort to such measures and as such was something of a big deal for me personally. It also felt, somewhat strangely I grant you, that I was betraying the very organisation I have willingly served for a number of years and as such I was conflicted by the whole thing.

    Looking back now I am convinced that this enabled me to get my situation resolved more quickly than would have otherwise been the case though.

    I will add at this point that I was still expected to report to work and perform my new role, despite having this hanging over me throughout. This added its own unique sort of pressure as the first thing many people asked me when they came across me was why I hadn't been promoted. If I had $10 for every time I was asked that...

    The only piece of solid information to come to me between this point and the conclusion of the case in late February was that it was harrassment/personnel-related. As such the potential punishment/s are wide ranging and could very easily be career-limiting or, in extremis, career-ending. No pressure then...

    The range of emotions one goes through during such an experience are huge. I was racking my brains trying to think what it was that I had done, said or implied that someone had found so offensive and/or serious that they had formally raised it in such a manner. I have an unblemished record throughout my entire career/s and I've worked hard to keep it that way so this was seriously corrosive to my self confidence and sense of self-worth. This would kick in whenever I had time to myself - You know the sort of thing; When you're cutting the grass, on your bike or just trying to read before bed in an effort to switch your brain off

    Fast forward to the end of Feb this year and I finally get to hear what the nature of the complaint/s are - Only because the authorities have completed their investigation (Without interviewing me - Which I took to be a good thing) and have made their recommendation. The net result was that no further action was taken and I was then promoted with my seniority being backdated to when I started my role. In other words there was nothing to see here...

    The problem being that of the thing/s complained about I reckon a good 75% (I'm being conservative here) are things that were taken entirely out of context or just simply untrue. The other 25% were things that had someone actually come and spoken to me at the time and pointed out the effects of what I had said or done then the matter could have been resolved, in an adult manner and to the benefit of all parties involved.

    I'm still not certain that I'll ever fully recover the trust and my supposed ability to judge people's character. It's certainly made me re-think what's important to me and what I want/need from the workplace. I have come to realise that my lovely wife is as fabulous as ever, despite me not really appreciating that and/or taking her for granted at times. It's also reaffirmed the value of biking for me as the need to fully focus on the job in hand when out riding is one of the few things I have that helps to switch my head off from other things going on around me.

    It's funny how such things come along and make you reconsider - I fully appreciate that what I've described is very much a First-world type of problem. I wasn't physically hurt, I didn't lose my career, I've finally been cleared of what was I was accused of and I've come to appreciate my lovely wife even more than before - But the damage will take a lot of time to heal. If it ever does to be honest.

    Like I said this isn't directly related to biking. However it and the people associated with it have helped me a lot - The IAM members in my area being just one example and I am now more grateful than before for what I have.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    25th January 2008 - 17:56
    New Zealand
    I promise I'm not stalking, honest Injun!
    Can appreciate the frustration and the not knowing.
    In this day and age, we're all encouraged to speak up if we're wronged, not one of those that do, were told that they should also have the courage of their convictions and that they should first openly address their perceived antagonist!
    Thereby, perhaps avoiding a situation that condemns people to the scrap heap for no good reason.
    I feel for ya, I really do.
    Hope the bike keeps running as long as you want it too, enjoy finding your mates again and having a laugh about idiots who have no backbone.
    Every day above ground is a good day!:

  3. #3
    Join Date
    25th June 2012 - 11:56
    Daelim VL250 Daystar
    Thanks for sharing. Yeah none of that type of stuff is fun Ive seen colleagues go through it.
    And those sensitive types who hold different views are always the first to scream fire.
    You do realise you can put a counter claim in just to screw with them too?
    A female friend whose much more versed in corporate office politics got wind of a dumb bimbo about to acuse her of bulllying.... (all she did was point out there are 26 (being half of 52) fortnight’s in a year not 25 and that she had been under charging customer service premiums.
    It all turned ugly when the boss asked if he could pay her salary fortnightly instead of weekly and office erupted into laughter....
    So she pre emptied and put in a claim about her co workers incompetence instead. And won.

    Sounds like you did everything right, yep just like speed ticket demand the evidence.

    We had a contractor onsite threaten one of my workers. I spoke to him and defused the situation but management got wind of it and it blew up bigger. Funny thing is the contractors boss doesn’t stand for that nonsense and was nearly going to sack him but we said hey we don’t need it to go that far just don’t do it again.
    Before you knew it written accounts of what happened exchanged. All ended well but some things just need to be left to sort out at lower levels.

    Different things affect different folks though and yes we do need to think about our words these days....
    CAPITALISM Gods way of determining who is smart and who is poor

  4. #4
    Join Date
    19th January 2022 - 11:47
    Wrong thread typo

  5. #5
    Join Date
    10th February 2017 - 15:01
    2009 Honda TransAlp
    Hawkes Bay
    From the other perspective, I've been in situations where I really should have raised a grievance, but usually I chose not to, for various reasons that I felt were legitimate at the time.

    Last week, though, something got me so riled up that I decided to take it further. It's not like me. I feel like Mr. Angry. The dramatic change of personality type has me intrigued, as if something dark has awoken in my subconscious mind. It feels right.

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