Things you said before you could stop yourself

[Oakie]

We've all done it. Said something you'd normally only think but then you find the words have shot out of your mouth and can't be un-said. What is your most memorable?

Mine. In my old job I had to take ID photos of our staff. We had one lovely woman who was a great personality but you'd never accuse of being attractive. Pretty much fell out of the 'Ugly Tree' and hit every branch on the way down. Anyway, I lined her up to take her photo and just before I clicked she said "Make me beautiful". I must have been concentrating on the photo because before I realised it I'd said "It's a camera, not a fucking magic wand!" There was an uncomfortable pause where we looked at each other in horror ... and then she roared with laughter. Whew.

And go...

[GazzaH]

I do








Apparently my message needs at least 10 caharcters, so I'll add Dozy, Droopy, Sneezy ...

[husaberg]

I bumped into a little person at a pub once instinctively i said "sorry, i never seen you"....
Turns out when you are saying that to someone 4 foot tall that's a invitation to a fist fight.
Ps it also turns out its also insulting to a little person to refuse to fist fight them.
Or laugh when they try to hit you.

[Gremlin]

“Sometimes the thoughts in my head get so bored they go out for a stroll through my mouth. This is rarely a good thing.”
— Scott Westerfeld

Pretty much...

[TheDemonLord]

Teacher (who happened to be the head of our Year group and giving someone a bollocking for something): "YOU ARE REALLY PUSHING MY BUTTONS AND YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU PUSH MY BUTTONS"

TheDemonHeir: "That sounded rather Dirty"

TheDemonHeir's brain: "Hold up a second, the whole room has gone quiet and everyone is looking at me...

Did?

Did we just say that out loud?

Oh fuck, I think we did....

Yes. The Death-Stare is now affixed towards my direction."

It was at that precise moment, I knew.

I'd fucked up.

[tigertim20]

At university, in the common room, we were about to watch a movie. one of the lads put the DVD in, but it was doing that skipping thing dvds used to do when they were scratched

Dubbs: fuck sake, we gotta take it back to the video store?
Chinese girl: just whip it out, wipe it off and stick it back in
Me: I bet you say that to all the boys!

[R650R]

Couple come to mind cause I’m good at dumb stuff 😂

Visiting a mate who at the time earned way more than I did. He’d been jacking off for ages about this fancy designer sofa he was going to buy.... anyhow their newborn baby decided to have a spew session. “Oh well at least you hadn’t bought that flash sofa yet”
This IS the designer sofa.....

Same mate another time was talking about great date I just met “she used to race ZXR750, tidy as she’d be great match for you if you weren’t married” the look on his face reminded me his wife was within earshot in kitchen....
I don’t think I stayed for dinner.