How many forum members does it take to change a light bulb?

**ZeroIndex** · 10th July 2006, 00:35

Originally Posted by Quartida

Why the Trade Me-like thread title? I expected to be placing a bid on some posters of lightbulbs. You have disappointed me.

hahaha, i did it to get the thread noticed..

**Fryin Finn** · 10th July 2006, 07:42

Yeah - what a bout the posts of URL's linking to porn sites showing light bulbs being inserted in amusing fashion.

**PuppetMaster** · 11th July 2006, 13:00

Originally Posted by onearmedbandit

An oldie, albeit updated to include google, but a goodie.

Google has a capital "G"

**onearmedbandit** · 11th July 2006, 13:10

Originally Posted by PuppetMaster

Google has a capital "G"

And a statement is usually ended with a full stop or period.

**Smokin** · 11th July 2006, 13:18

Originally Posted by onearmedbandit

And a statement is usually ended with a full stop or period.

Hell yeah, Nothing worse than missing your period.

**ZeroIndex** · 11th July 2006, 14:30

Originally Posted by onearmedbandit

And a statement is usually ended with a full stop or period.

..and every sentence begins with a caterpillar

**far queue** · 11th July 2006, 19:21

Originally Posted by ZeroIndex

40 posters who don't believe in light bulbs at all and instead post links to pseudo-scientific sites that claim alternate theories of light production.

Damn right ...

For years, it has been believed that electric light bulbs emit light, but recent information has proven otherwise. Electric bulbs don't emit light, they suck dark. Thus we call these bulbs Dark Suckers. The Dark Sucker theory and the existence of Dark Suckers prove that dark has mass and is heavier and faster than light.

First, the basis of the Dark Sucker theory is that electric bulbs suck dark. For example, take the Dark Sucker in the room that you are in. There is much less dark right next to it than there is elsewhere. The larger the Dark Sucker, the greater its' capacity to suck dark. Dark Suckers in the parking lot have a much greater capacity to suck dark than the ones in this room.

As with all things, Dark Suckers don't last forever. Once they are full of dark, they can no longer suck. This is proven by the black spot on a full Dark Sucker. A candle is a primitive Dark Sucker. A new cancel has a white wick. You can see that after the first use, the wick turns black, representing all the dark that has been sucked into it. If you put a pencil next to the wick of an operating candle, it will turn black. This is because it got in the way of the dark flowing into the candle.

One of the disadvantages of these primitive Dark Suckers is their limited range. There are also portable Dark Suckers. In these the bulbs can't handle all of the dark by themselves and must be aided by a Dark Storage Unit. When the Dark Storage unit is full, it must be either emptied or replaced before the portable Dark Sucker can operate again.

Dark has mass. When it goes into a Dark Sucker, friction from the mass generates heat. Thus it is not wise to touch an operating Dark Sucker. Candles present a special problem, as the mass must travel into a solid wick instead of through clear glass. This generates a great amount of heat and is therefore even less smart to touch an operating candle.

Dark is heavier than light. If you were to slowly swim just below the surface of a lake you would see a lot of light. If you were to slowly swim deeper and deeper, you would notice it getting darker and darker. When you got really deep you would be in total darkness. This is because the heavier dark sinks to the bottom of the lake and the lighter light floats at the top. This is why it is called light.

Finally, we must prove that dark is faster than light. If you were to stand in a lighted room in front of a closed, dark closet and slowly opened the closet door, you would see the light slowly enter the closet. But since dark is so fast, you would not be able to see the dark leave the closet.

**What?** · 11th July 2006, 20:14

You forgot the person to jump in and say "RE-POST!"

http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/sh...ght=light+bulb

**avgas** · 11th July 2006, 20:27

Sodium Vapour?

**XTC** · 11th July 2006, 20:36

I used to be a light bulb but then I got heavy so they fired me

**ZeroIndex** · 11th July 2006, 22:05

Originally Posted by far queue

Damn right ...

For years, it has been believed that electric light bulbs emit light, but recent information has proven otherwise. Electric bulbs don't emit light, they suck dark. Thus we call these bulbs Dark Suckers. The Dark Sucker theory and the existence of Dark Suckers prove that dark has mass and is heavier and faster than light.

First, the basis of the Dark Sucker theory is that electric bulbs suck dark. For example, take the Dark Sucker in the room that you are in. There is much less dark right next to it than there is elsewhere. The larger the Dark Sucker, the greater its' capacity to suck dark. Dark Suckers in the parking lot have a much greater capacity to suck dark than the ones in this room.

As with all things, Dark Suckers don't last forever. Once they are full of dark, they can no longer suck. This is proven by the black spot on a full Dark Sucker. A candle is a primitive Dark Sucker. A new cancel has a white wick. You can see that after the first use, the wick turns black, representing all the dark that has been sucked into it. If you put a pencil next to the wick of an operating candle, it will turn black. This is because it got in the way of the dark flowing into the candle.

One of the disadvantages of these primitive Dark Suckers is their limited range. There are also portable Dark Suckers. In these the bulbs can't handle all of the dark by themselves and must be aided by a Dark Storage Unit. When the Dark Storage unit is full, it must be either emptied or replaced before the portable Dark Sucker can operate again.

Dark has mass. When it goes into a Dark Sucker, friction from the mass generates heat. Thus it is not wise to touch an operating Dark Sucker. Candles present a special problem, as the mass must travel into a solid wick instead of through clear glass. This generates a great amount of heat and is therefore even less smart to touch an operating candle.

Dark is heavier than light. If you were to slowly swim just below the surface of a lake you would see a lot of light. If you were to slowly swim deeper and deeper, you would notice it getting darker and darker. When you got really deep you would be in total darkness. This is because the heavier dark sinks to the bottom of the lake and the lighter light floats at the top. This is why it is called light.

Finally, we must prove that dark is faster than light. If you were to stand in a lighted room in front of a closed, dark closet and slowly opened the closet door, you would see the light slowly enter the closet. But since dark is so fast, you would not be able to see the dark leave the closet.

Man.. that is SOOOOOOOOOOOOO Good!!!! Green Rep For that, had me laughing at the end of every line

**Sketchy_Racer** · 13th July 2006, 13:50

COME ON!!

Think about the children people!

Light bulbs (or - Lightbulbs ) are made of glass. Glass can smash and harm poor little children.

Light bulbs should be banned and every household is ordered to eat 3Kg of carrots each day. That way everyone can see in the dark and the dangerous light-bulb can be eliminated.

The man that invented light-bulbs should be killed..... dangerous bloody things....