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Thread: Letter i'm posting to the Lads (with my cheque)

  1. #1
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    7th September 2004 - 16:18
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    Letter i'm posting to the Lads (with my cheque)

    Hi Fulla's

    Just wanna congratulate you on the fine job you're doing punishing societal menace's like myself.

    That last fine for 10km/h over in a fifty zone at 7:20am on Sunday morning on a four lane road containing
    me, two seagulls and a couple of empty swap-a-crates was devilishly good policing. Yep. I broke the
    law, and i'm gonna pay. Here's the cheque.

    Just wondering, we live near a busy four lane road in central Christchurch, and sleep is sometimes difficult,
    because of the skylines, rexxes and other pisspot no-dick tintops dragging each other all fucking night at speeds I’ve
    yet to achieve at Ruapuna. Would it be possible to divert a couple of cops from ticketing me for a weekend
    to maybe park it up and nail at least one of these guys? If its revenue you're after you could make budget
    in about 11 seconds (if you could get the pricks to pay up instead of putting it on their "Account").

    I know a small part of the revenue received goes towards road safety. So i was also wondering if you could
    get the local roady crew round to my street cos it's fucking dangerous on anything smaller than the Queen Elizabeth.
    There are potholes that don't seem to have bottoms, and the amount of glass placed kindly in the gutters
    by aforementioned hoons when they get a little zapped from driving like wankers and need an alcoholic
    refresher is impressive.

    Finally, thanks for letting me write this cheque for a breaking laws i actually knew about, as opposed to those you thought
    might have existed (eh snipe). I can't really complain there. In recognition of that, i'm gonna provide you with my riding
    itinerary for the next month. Save you time guessing where to put the camera's (cos you KNOW i can't do 50km/h in ANY gear). As you'll see, some of those rides involve riding with people smart enough to have HP detecting devices, so maybe find some nice hidey holes or maybe just invent my speed now and send me the ticket pre-dated?

    In fact could we set up an A.P just like my SKY account? That way i won't have to ask my missus for the cheque book
    every time i go for a ride, and maybe i can slip past her the aftermarket bits i can't afford until this cheque stops bouncing.

    Keep it up lads, one day you'll convince me to stop breaking those laws (maybe).





  2. #2
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    26th April 2005 - 19:38
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    LOL....that'll sort 'em.....

  3. #3
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    13th January 2005 - 11:00
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    want a twist of lime with your lemon bitters?

    tbt and imho (trying to use lots of shortcuts btw), it ain't worth the hassle. Just ring the fuzz on a night when dragwars is hot, and let them sort it out then. Else they'll just wanna fuk ya a little more.. not in so many words, but you ain't really gonna be the popular one, ay?

  4. #4
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    Yeah that'll go down like a cup of cold sick...
    $2,000 cash if you find a buyer for my house, kumeuhouseforsale@straightshooters.co.nz for details

  5. #5
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    I laughed..
    .

  6. #6
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    2nd April 2005 - 11:58
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    So how much was the fine? It must have been phonemoninial to get all worked up like that! Wow I wanna see what happens when you get BC on a bad day!!

    Chuckles BC, just chuckles - please don't hunt me down, please. Ok, ok I'm sorry I take it all back.
    They shall not grow old as we that are left grow old.
    Age shall not weary them nor the years condemn.
    At the going down of the sun and in the evening,
    we will remember them

  7. #7
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    23rd August 2005 - 18:38
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    Sorry to hear about that.. Unfortunately in Perth, they have ZERO tolerance so last year I ended up with a ticket for 6km over the limit! - $50AUS to John Howards overseas trips!!
    It's been a rough day. I got up this morning, put on a shirt and a button fell off.
    As I ran out the door, I picked up my briefcase, and the handle came off.
    Now I'm afraid to go to the bathroom.

  8. #8
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    7th November 2004 - 11:00
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    Brilliant Manu. And thanks for the mention. I could add my own little bit to that but Im busy writing my own note about my fine.
    To every man upon this earth
    Death cometh sooner or late
    And how can a man die better
    Than facing fearful odds
    For the ashes of his fathers
    And the temples of his Gods

  9. #9
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    2nd February 2005 - 13:41
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    Funny...and true...but sadly I don't think the accounts person will give a shit...
    ...

  10. #10
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    13th January 2005 - 11:00
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    Quote Originally Posted by hayabusa01
    Sorry to hear about that.. Unfortunately in Perth, they have ZERO tolerance so last year I ended up with a ticket for 6km over the limit! - $50AUS to John Howards overseas trips!!
    I've always shunned the zero tollerance thing. I can understand that if you speed, you speed and should be done for it, but who's speedo is calibrated right? If anything is changed on the vehicle, or even just the age, that can throw out a speedo by enough to be done by. Top Gear proved this a while ago.. stupid laws..

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by hayabusa01
    Sorry to hear about that.. Unfortunately in Perth, they have ZERO tolerance so last year I ended up with a ticket for 6km over the limit! - $50AUS to John Howards overseas trips!!
    whoaaaaa

    did you say 6 - like five plus one... = six?

    OWWWWWWWWWW

    That's gotta be close to the accepted margin of error on speedos innit?
    $2,000 cash if you find a buyer for my house, kumeuhouseforsale@straightshooters.co.nz for details

  12. #12
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    2nd April 2005 - 11:58
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    What is the acceptable margin of error on speedo's and I'm sure it's got nothing to do a hairy butt crack!
    They shall not grow old as we that are left grow old.
    Age shall not weary them nor the years condemn.
    At the going down of the sun and in the evening,
    we will remember them

  13. #13
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    7th September 2004 - 16:18
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    ....

    want a twist of lime with your lemon bitters?
    Bitter? Me? Bwah! It's not the fines, its a combination of factors beyond my control like a fucking kitchen rebuild and other stuff that mean that our money tree is all twig and no money, and i want is a little plastic hugger! Izzat to much to ask?

    So how much was the fine? It must have been phonemoninial to get all worked up like that! Wow I wanna see what happens when you get BC on a bad day!!
    Its not the amount, its the ride to fine ratio. If the top order batsman in the NZ cricket team had my strike rate we'd have a fucking good cricket team, not a bunch of poofs.

  14. #14
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    13th January 2005 - 11:00
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    Quote Originally Posted by Colapop
    What is the acceptable margin of error on speedo's and I'm sure it's got nothing to do a hairy butt crack!
    I thought it was about 10% but I think it was lowered to 5%..
    but I wouldn't use that as your defence.

  15. #15
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    Nicely written manuboy. We've all been there but as Mrs Blackbird says, "You wuz breaking the law". I break the open road speed limit (umm.. on the odd occasion in case BC is looking in ) but I can't grizzle about getting done - I own the problem.

    Thanks for the entertainment though

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