Hi Fulla's
Just wanna congratulate you on the fine job you're doing punishing societal menace's like myself.
That last fine for 10km/h over in a fifty zone at 7:20am on Sunday morning on a four lane road containing
me, two seagulls and a couple of empty swap-a-crates was devilishly good policing. Yep. I broke the
law, and i'm gonna pay. Here's the cheque.
Just wondering, we live near a busy four lane road in central Christchurch, and sleep is sometimes difficult,
because of the skylines, rexxes and other pisspot no-dick tintops dragging each other all fucking night at speeds I’ve
yet to achieve at Ruapuna. Would it be possible to divert a couple of cops from ticketing me for a weekend
to maybe park it up and nail at least one of these guys? If its revenue you're after you could make budget
in about 11 seconds (if you could get the pricks to pay up instead of putting it on their "Account").
I know a small part of the revenue received goes towards road safety. So i was also wondering if you could
get the local roady crew round to my street cos it's fucking dangerous on anything smaller than the Queen Elizabeth.
There are potholes that don't seem to have bottoms, and the amount of glass placed kindly in the gutters
by aforementioned hoons when they get a little zapped from driving like wankers and need an alcoholic
refresher is impressive.
Finally, thanks for letting me write this cheque for a breaking laws i actually knew about, as opposed to those you thought
might have existed (eh snipe). I can't really complain there. In recognition of that, i'm gonna provide you with my riding
itinerary for the next month. Save you time guessing where to put the camera's (cos you KNOW i can't do 50km/h in ANY gear). As you'll see, some of those rides involve riding with people smart enough to have HP detecting devices, so maybe find some nice hidey holes or maybe just invent my speed now and send me the ticket pre-dated?
In fact could we set up an A.P just like my SKY account? That way i won't have to ask my missus for the cheque book
every time i go for a ride, and maybe i can slip past her the aftermarket bits i can't afford until this cheque stops bouncing.
Keep it up lads, one day you'll convince me to stop breaking those laws (maybe).
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