R E S P E C T

[boomer]

Here we go again! He'll be on about how Thatcher shut down all the mines in a minute.

I'm not from ChCh but I'll red bling you if you want?

Don't get me started...Yeah throw the bling this way.. you count as a soft southern shandy drinker.. I'm suprised you were allowed to stay up norf

Hey if you want i can sub you some petrol for the day??

[Beemer]

Maybe some of us didn't get the "play nicely or go to your room" chat from our parents!

I've been guilty of having a go at someone and then when someone does the same to me I get annoyed - so perhaps if we all took the "think twice, act once" angle, things might be a bit better.

[Jackrat]

The past few months have seen an inordinate amount of "flaming" and personal attacks by some members on others. Disturbingly this trend appears to be growing and driven by a handful of newer members and some senior members who should know better.

What we have here on Kiwibiker is pretty special. Folks from a wide and diverse range of backgrounds, ages, ethnicity, and so on; united by a common love and passion for motorcycling. The contribution many make to other members outside what gets posted here in terms of advice, experience and encouragement is spectacular. We have some "pearls beyond price" in our midst.

Sadly the recent change in mood on this side is driving some of these pearls away. They are tiring of the amount of shite that gets posted. But even worse, they don't appreciate the personal abuse that gets hurled their way by a wunch of bankers who don't know any better.

There is only so much that the Moderators can do to maintain "order". It's not our role to curb free and frank expression of opinion. And it's hard to draw a line when the bounds of good taste and common courtesy are exceeded, other than to PM the offenders and telling them to pull their heads in. Sin binning is only ever rarely used as a matter of last resort. Sadly this sometimes results in Moderators being personally abused.

This is our gargre. It's OK at times to "disrespect" and disagree with each other. But within the bounds of what should be common sense and in good humour. I dish shit out at times, and expect to get it back in boatloads, and do. What I get back is nearly always in good fun and taken as such.

Also there is a lot of shit-throwing that goes on here that is "off the radar" of public forums -- PMs and comments made when rep is awarded. Some of the stuff I've become aware of in this private space is disgustingly offensive to the point of being legally actionable.

Some members on this site need to get over themselves and demonstrate a bit more of the R E S P E C T proclaimed by Aretha Franklin.

Taken me a while to reply to this,because I had to think hard about what to say in reply to THE ONLY person on this site to ever really stab me in a place that did hurt.
Funny old world huh,A person can call me any form of cunt they like and all I'll do is throw it back.After that it's just water off the ducks back.
You may think your being witty,funny,smart ect ect with your put downs over the use of the English language but to somebody that's been put down most of their life over education,or the lack of it,your comments are nothing like "just a joke" never "just between mates".
What they are is a direct personal attack.
You carry on moderating in the way you feel fit ,you carry on looking for respect,but your going to have to learn how to show some first.
I was never your mate,I didn't know you from a bar of soap,I certainly didn't need your nasty little comments.
Enjoy YOUR site.

[WINJA]

Maybe some of us didn't get the "play nicely or go to your room" chat from our parents!

I've been guilty of having a go at someone and then when someone does the same to me I get annoyed - so perhaps if we all took the "think twice, act once" angle, things might be a bit better.

I ACCEPT YOUR APOLOGY

[TwoSeven]

[Woffle mode: on]

Apologies in advance, but this is my tuppence - saved up for a while

Over the decades I’ve seen enough forums and the behaviour is usually the same, standard group dynamics – form, storm norm, perform etc. Difference is as I see it from my perspective in life; group formation happens pretty rarely and although initially stressful, is usually overcome – that is, the performing stage is usually pretty long – most of the groups I belong to I’ve been in for a long time. On the net, I think this cycle happens a lot faster and more often because of the rapidity of change that modern communications brings with it, meaning some people have a hard time dealing with the fact they don’t have a stable environment from which to work from causing them unwanted stress. I think using the net requires the learning and use of a different set of skills than from in normal life in that you have to adapt your style to cope with the changes in group dynamics. I think that not everyone can cope with these changes and there are different ways for it to be handled depending on the type of people that make up the group. Some forums I’ve seen regulate everything to the smallest degree, others ignore it – how it goes I feel comes down to the personality type of the moderating group and their circle of friends. I’ve found that technical forums are more tightly controlled than say interest forums. It’s not because of the education level or age, but I think that the former may have members of a similar personality type – more logical and regimental, and the latter type will often operate from the heart and be slightly disorganised.

When I joined this forum first time round a long time back, I wasn’t very impressed; there was a central group of members who were rather forceful on how they thought people behaviour both online and in riding motorcycles should be they were of an older age group – it didn’t fit my perspective on things and I chose not to hang around.

The second time I joined, I quite quickly got the expected personal attack from these members – their group was changing and they needed to re-enforce their ‘storming’ behaviour patter on the new person and I made it easy by posting what was obviously at the time a non-conforming view. I chose to deal with their reaction by using a standard reflection technique which probably didn’t endear me in the long term to these members, but it is the same way I treat all people I perceive to be using verbal bullying behaviour and I feel they couldn’t cope, instead choosing to provide the odd jibe and belligerent insult from the sidelines as some of them still do but I don’t mind. I guess it’s a kind of regressive behaviour from being challenged (long grudge duration) – but I don’t really care to be honest. I tolerate this behaviour because I respect that it’s their right to be like that although it’s not aligned with my core values and beliefs - diversity means that everyone has a different value set from which they use to lead their lives and human rights means they have the freedom to express those views. Where I do draw the line is when someone challenges my core values s such as threatening racial, verbal or physical abuse at someone (the only time when I will report a post). That type of behaviour, I don’t hold with.

I think that the internet reflects society as it is, not as it is desired to be, and what you desire a forum to be, may not end up being what it becomes because of the diversity of personality types that make up the members of a forum. I think how each person perceives this might dictate whether they choose to go elsewhere, or remain as part of the forum or whether they choose to lurk in the background or be an active poster. I have long since learned to recognise and deal with all the different personality types that exist on forums and I also recognize there are people who are polar opposites to what I am, but such is life, one has to deal with it as best as possible. Some of these people are great people in real in reality – I’ve seen some of them out and about and know this, but that doesn’t mean that I would get on with them – they’d drive me nuts and likely I’d drive them nuts as well – I can tell by their body language when I see them around if I am challenging them or not. In this respect in the forum I probably delete more posts than I make due to an awareness of other peoples perceptions - especially if its an emotive issue, or something that I think is just plane wrong, I might make several attempted posts before giving up – sometimes the odd one gets thru but that’s just life and learning to deal with the odd bit of flack can be useful if not a tough (as I find for myself) skill to have.

Following on with this, I am aware that just because I like to argue technical stuff with people, doesn’t mean to say that someone who likes to post joke threads with people is doing the wrong thing – I might just choose to ignore those types of posts, or scroll down over that section of a thread – luckily they are in a different area of the forum so I don’t see half of it. Sometimes I might even join in though, but rarely as it’s not my style. Recognising that is called sense of community and is what makes forums great places to be. I think if you watch people in large groups, you’ll note that they all form into smaller peer groups and go do their own thing – sure they have a common bond in that they are all at whatever event it is, just like we all have a perceived common interest in motorcycles, but that doesn’t force them to all have to toe the same uniform line of conversations all the time. The heart people are probably not going to follow the forum rules and the brain people are probably going to get wound up by it all the time. The community spirit forms when people are allowed space to express their thoughts and interests without being coerced and this forum does a pretty good job of allowing that to happen. I would expect a minor level of bitching to be normal at the end of the day and from what I have seen, most of its common personality differences.

Being a foreigner who has spent most of his life travelling, I am well aware on the different styles of ethnic diversity that exist around the world – the ones I find hardest to deal with are the ones that are most similar to my own, I’m also aware that NZ culturally has its own unique style – hero worship is a common thing here, but its not part of my culture. This often gets me into trouble when I fail to pay due respect to ‘an old member’ or informally designated leaders which is the ‘correct’ thing to do in kiwi society. From my perspective they are just normal people with their own opinions, skills and experience which I can take or leave. Likewise I am aware I come from a high context culture – that is my cultural identity, upbringing, history and surroundings are used in part of my communication (difficult when you live in a different country as I do now), whereas I note many kiwis (depending on region) are low context requiring the expression of thoughts and facts directly in a clear and concise way. My use of what can be ambiguity, to others, can often frustrate many locals simply because I forget that they don’t have the same identity and culture as I do (think of this difference as trying to play the American version of trivial pursuit when you don’t know anything about America). I think you can observe this difference in that some write small one liner high context posts which irritate others and some write longer posts which they put a lot of effort into. I am well aware of my faults, sometimes I may choose to work on fixing them, and sometimes I choose to leave them as they are. I’m quite comfortable with who I am (its called self-actualisation) so I am mostly thick skinned to the many insults and comments that come my way – just don’t expect me to be one of those new age empathetic types.

As to what I think of people. 'Characters' is the term I would use My personal opinion doesnt really count here, and to be honest, I doubt anyone would give a flying... even if it did. But I enjoy a good beligerant attitude as much as I do a fruit and nut case - its what makes the world spin.

So anyway, think of this thread as a ‘normalising’ thread and be worried if they don’t happen from time to time because I think they are an important part of any successful forum evolving.

[Woffle mode: off]

[NC]

[Woffle mode: on]

Apologies in advance, but this is my tuppence - saved up for a while
..................

So anyway, think of this thread as a ‘normalising’ thread and be worried if they don’t happen from time to time because I think they are an important part of any successful forum evolving.

[Woffle mode: off]

Can I have that post read to me by David Hasslehoff and then put on a cassette.

[Hitcher]

Taken me a while to reply to this,because I had to think hard about what to say in reply to THE ONLY person on this site to ever really stab me in a place that did hurt.

I'm sorry. No hurt ever intended.

[TwoSeven]

NC.

I would have thought it would be better if played in the style of the character who played 'shauni' in baywatch

[sels1]

Am I thick (it's a rhetorical question WINJA, mikey et al!!) or are some of you others a bit precious and touchy???

Maybe it's the ole Pre-Xmas Stress Syndrome starting to kick in....nerves are frayed and holidays are required.

[White trash]

I respect and like almost everyone on here, even the atntagonists have their moments of being funny. I've been pissed off enough at certain stages to think I could leave, but the funniest thing is, I miss the (not so common) informative bits and enjoy the very odd occasions I've been able to offer sound advice. Maybe even helped a couple of people out once or twice.

I can even stomach the wallys from Christchurch that r-r-ride ZXR750s, and the cop from south otago (even though he drives a Ford or 5). I use bad language in almost all my posts, because that's exactly how I talk. Get the fuck over it.

However, personal attacks stemming from misinformation or the malice needed to belittle someone for haveing a different point of view to yourself is simply childish annoys the fuck out of me. I watch people who I consider friends and spend time with outside this website, constantly needling each other into arguments which are old, pointless and frankly, downright boring.

Dunno what the hell that all sums up to.

PS. I'm not so keen on the softcocks that attend TOTNRs. "There can be only ONE!"

[Quasievil]

I respect and like almost everyone on here, even the atntagonists have their moments of being funny. I've been pissed off enough at certain stages to think I could leave, but the funniest thing is, I miss the (not so common) informative bits and enjoy the very odd occasions I've been able to offer sound advice. Maybe even helped a couple of people out once or twice.

I can even stomach the wallys from Christchurch that r-r-ride ZXR750s, and the cop from south otago (even though he drives a Ford or 5). I use bad language in almost all my posts, because that's exactly how I talk. Get the fuck over it.

However, personal attacks stemming from misinformation or the malice needed to belittle someone for haveing a different point of view to yourself is simply childish annoys the fuck out of me. I watch people who I consider friends and spend time with outside this website, constantly needling each other into arguments which are old, pointless and frankly, downright boring.

Dunno what the hell that all sums up to.

PS. I'm not so keen on the softcocks that attend TOTNRs. "There can be only ONE!"

YEAH WHAT HE SAID

[Hitcher]

PS. I'm not so keen on the softcocks that attend TOTNRs. "There can be only ONE!"

Funny, that since you've left town there is only one...

[jrandom]

I respect and like almost everyone on here...

Because WT is so awesome and does such awesome wheelies, I totally agree with him. He is awesome, and by awesome, I mean totally sweet, and I love him with every part of my body. Including my pee-pee.

[Hitcher]

Thank you for that anatomical insight. Adding, as it does, a whole new dimension to "penis envy"...

[SixPackBack]

Because WT is so awesome and does such awesome wheelies, I totally agree with him. He is awesome, and by awesome, I mean totally sweet, and I love him with every part of my body. Including my pee-pee.

..............