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Thread: The US Political Parties - your guide

  1. #1
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    The US Political Parties - your guide

    Stolen from a website I saw - kinda summed it up really...

    Help for the politically undecided - a guide to your political affiliation.




    Question: How do you tell the difference between Democrats, Republicans, and Southern Republicans? The answer can be found by posing the following question:

    You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.
    Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges. You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Democrat's Answer:

    Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!

    Does the man look poor or oppressed?

    Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

    Could we run away?

    What does my wife think?

    What about the kids?

    Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?

    What does the law say about this situation?

    Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?

    Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?

    Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?

    Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?

    If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?

    Should I call 911?

    Why is this street so deserted?

    We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

    This is all so confusing!

    I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Republican's Answer:

    BANG!
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Southern Republican's Answer:

    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click....(sounds of reloading). BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click
    Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips??"
    $2,000 cash if you find a buyer for my house, kumeuhouseforsale@straightshooters.co.nz for details

  2. #2
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    So true...... Well done MDU
    To every man upon this earth
    Death cometh sooner or late
    And how can a man die better
    Than facing fearful odds
    For the ashes of his fathers
    And the temples of his Gods

  3. #3
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    19th January 2005 - 11:00
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    Must be a Southern Republican then... Yea, sounds about right.

    Sever
    Now and forever
    you're just another lost soul about to be mine again
    see her, you'll never free her
    you must surrender it all
    And give life to me again
    Disturbed - Inside the Fire


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