How to make a total arse of yourself in 10 easy steps

**Biff** · 30th November 2005, 22:45

Spend a nice evening with some important people
Drink copious amounts of the local brew (Tiger beer)
Suggest that consuming some Irish Whisky would finish the night off..
Along with important people, get very very pissed and start chatting up/dancing with the local working girls
Return to hotel room (alone) and promptly collapse on the floor
Remove yourself from said hotel room floor later than expected the following morning and rush around in a blind panic in order to meet important people for breakfast.
Feel like shit. Head spins. Headaches. Bad stomach (peppered alligator for supper may help)
Eat nothing at breakfast because of point 7.
Take lift back up to room with important people.
Ask if you can borrow any one of said important people's plastic bag, currently home to a complimentary newspaper, and promptly vomit in it, twice, in a lift full of important people and other startled hotel guests.

**SPORK** · 30th November 2005, 22:48

Noice, keep it up man, you're making a good impression.

To fix it, all you need is Lion Red, or so the ads tell me. And TV wouldn't lie to me, would it?

**scumdog** · 30th November 2005, 22:48

Biff, you were in the 'arse' catagory before you even got to 1..

**RantyDave** · 30th November 2005, 22:58

Nice. I think anyone that's had to do a relevant amount of business travel has had a similar experience, but the morning vom with company really does it. Remember: Tactical chunders - don't leave it to chance!

So do we get a thread on how to hide hangovers while on business?

Dave

**texmo** · 30th November 2005, 23:06

jesus christ and you aint in the toxic crew?

**idb** · 30th November 2005, 23:08

Was reading through your list thinking "I've got a couple of personal anecdotes I could share in this thread" when I got to the end and realised "I'm just a boy..."