How to make a total arse of yourself in 10 easy steps

**WINJA** · 1st December 2005, 19:03

Originally Posted by texmo

Some one at work work actually did this?

YES , TRUE STORY , HE ALSO KNICKED A LADIES FLOWERS ON VALENTINES DAY AND TOOK THEM HOME TO HIS MISSES. HE ONLY MILDLY GOT IN STRIFE WHEN HE SHOWED THE RECEPTIONIST AT WORK HIS SHAVED BALLS

**texmo** · 1st December 2005, 19:38

Originally Posted by WINJA

YES , TRUE STORY , HE ALSO KNICKED A LADIES FLOWERS ON VALENTINES DAY AND TOOK THEM HOME TO HIS MISSES. HE ONLY MILDLY GOT IN STRIFE WHEN HE SHOWED THE RECEPTIONIST AT WORK HIS SHAVED BALLS

Fuck this guy sounds like a riot

**The_Dover** · 1st December 2005, 20:20

I showed the receptionist at my last job more than my shaved balls!!! She had to wear a scarf for a coupla weeks and I got to walk past her everyday with a big grin on my face. She was fuckin hot and squeaky tight. But she got pissed off when I showed the boys the pxts she had sent me.

Mmmm...

**WINJA** · 1st December 2005, 20:34

Originally Posted by texmo

Fuck this guy sounds like a riot

I HAD SOME OF THE BEST TIMES OF MY LIFE WORKING WITH HIM , WE LAUGHED EVERY DAY , GOT FUCK ALL WORK DONE BUT THATS NOT MY PROBLEM

**Biff** · 1st December 2005, 21:21

Nope I didn't get any. I'm far too tight to pay for it (honest Ms Biff). Unless they give out receipts so that I can claim for 'it' on expenses.

Even if I had taken one of these ladies back to my room it would have been like trying to push a raw sausage into a pokie machine's coin slot.

**The_Dover** · 1st December 2005, 21:31

Originally Posted by Biff

Even if I had taken one of these ladies back to my room it would have been like trying to push a raw sausage into a pokie machine's coin slot.

Good old meaty messy fun!!

**heavenly.talker** · 6th December 2005, 08:52

Originally Posted by WINJA

YES , TRUE STORY , HE ALSO KNICKED A LADIES FLOWERS ON VALENTINES DAY AND TOOK THEM HOME TO HIS MISSES. HE ONLY MILDLY GOT IN STRIFE WHEN HE SHOWED THE RECEPTIONIST AT WORK HIS SHAVED BALLS

OMG...you didn't tell me that you worked with hubby?

**SixPackBack** · 6th December 2005, 09:31

Further to the 'o my god did that really happen, the following is a true story [ this was my best man BEFORE this incident]
This man [lets call him Daryl] disappears from his highly paid job and large social scene for two weeks, upon his return he is disheveled and unwashed. His friends gather and decide in their collective wisdom to take Daryl to the pub.....cries of 'to much stress' 'a few beers will learn him'
Post pub Daryl is clearly delusional, laughing/ crying for no discernible reason.
Two of us decide to stay with him that night, with the intent of seeking medical advice in the morning. Shortly after the crowd leaves Daryl visits the toilet, squats [with the door open] and starts rocking back and forth muttering 'black''red''red'red''black' etc.....this went on till we persuaded him to turn in, by this time he is clearly catatonic.
The early hour's of the morning are broken by the sound of broken glass, Daryl has taken a chair and thrown it through the ranch slider window and disappeared.
We arise and pursue, shortly we come across a shoe, another shoe, a shirt....yes you guessed it Daryl is butt naked [apart from his socks]
By the time we come across the gas station [watching with a mixture of amazement and sadness from across the road] Daryl is striking his erect penis on the bonnet of a young woman's car, laughing hysterically and demanding she gets out so he can 'fuck her up the arse'. The gas attendant comes to the maiden's rescue and is rewarded by being thrown through the coke display. A taxi driver decides to help and has his van stoved in [Daryl uses the drivers head to accomplish this].
A crowd gathers, the police arrive and shortly after doctor's, Daryl is tranquilised and removed.
Three months later he is reinstated into his position and continues normally for 9 months, one day he drops his pants down to his knees and propositions [yeah you guessed it] Anal sex with the CEO'S Secretary.
These 'episodes' become more frequent over the years. Daryl is a manic depressant.

**Devil** · 6th December 2005, 09:52

Originally Posted by sixpackback

Three months later he is reinstated into his position and continues normally for 9 months, one day he drops his pants down to his knees and propositions [yeah you guessed it] Anal sex with the CEO'S Secretary.
These 'episodes' become more frequent over the years. Daryl is a manic depressant. [/FONT][/SIZE]

I feel for him. Dont you hate it when they just wont put out.

**The_Dover** · 6th December 2005, 09:59

Originally Posted by Devil

I feel for him. Dont you hate it when they just wont put out.

Just got to refine those powers of persuasion mate. Put a little sweetener in it for them...

**Fordy** · 6th December 2005, 10:02

Good work fella.

If you haven't got a few tales to tell you haven't lived. My embarassing moment with important clients also involved copious alcohol and a night in Camden Town nick