" He's just not that into you" Oprah

**placidfemme** · 14th December 2005, 16:37

*throws in my 2c*

oprah sucks... why not just place a blue screen with the words "hes just not into you" on the screen for an hour... would have been more interesting then slamming everyone down with the same answer... I think I watched about 10 minutes and got bored... sorry oprah but I'm just not into you

**ManDownUnder** · 14th December 2005, 16:43

Originally Posted by The_Dover

Ha ha ha, fooled you. That was Maurice..........:slap:

Well that's MY reputation buggered...

**heavenly.talker** · 14th December 2005, 17:07

It has been my observation (15 years of having a mostly male clientle...ex-hairdresser) that when a man falls in love that he does make an effort to impress the person in question.

He isn't casual about the whole thing...in fact he's intense and doing his best to close the deal.

Men are just as socialised about the rituals of dating and love just as much as women are. Even the die hard bachelors bring on the romance when they meet someone they want...why? because films, books, and people all tell us that is how it is done in western culture.

In fact I would even say that Men fall in love more quickly than women...not as often I grant you, but they pretty much know when they have found a keeper. Women are alot more unsure and have to analyse every nuance of his behaviour to see if he is "the one"!

Women are also more hopeful...they set themselves up for disappointment and sometimes will hang in there, refuse to recognise the signs that he isn't keen.

I have seen some Men let women hang around because they do care for them, do want to be friends and not hurt her feelings... however, they simply are not interested in a long term settling down type of relationship...the women then thinks there is hope.

Women also are stupid trading sex in the hope of affection. Men are simply taking the women up on her offer...and why wouldn't they?

Sometimes the man then ends up with this women until something better comes along or because the relationship progresses and they don't feel they have options without being seen to be a bastard.

Caveat: these are generalised observations and do not apply to everyone!

This book has a place in popular culture as women do need a wakeup call.

Honey if he isn't respecting you, then he isn't ready for a deep and meaningful relationship. That might be his phase of life, it might be it's just not with you. Either or, don't hang around, that's not going to change his mind. He wants you, he will come and find you!

Before you go getting all upset, already formed long term relationships do not fit in to this. This is talking about relationships that are not committed or just starting.

And let's face it...life is too short to spend time with people that you don't adore! That's more like serving a sentence.

**SPman** · 15th December 2005, 05:56

Originally Posted by ManDownUnder

Well that's MY reputation buggered...

Just your reputation????

**Pillick** · 15th December 2005, 10:33

I've finished okay...there are no last words of wisdom...it's time to pull your pants up and go home!

your sig raises other possibilities of why you would have 15 years of talkative male clientle... =P

But seriously, I think there are two types of not-committed relationships that guys have (or at least, that I've had)

1) Pretty much you are bored and want a girl, so you're just looking for something lightweight. This sort of situation really isnt fair on the girl, since all the talk, connections, affection really just boils down to maintenance. Its better for the girl to quote that quote and go, and probably better for the guy to find some other hobby.

2) You arent with a girl out of boredom, but because you see something in the girl that makes you think she could be "it". I wouldnt call it love and it certianly isn't anything the you are sure of. So what you do in terms of affection and romance isnt about "closing the deal" at all, you do it because you like it, she likes it, you like that she likes it, and your exploring whether she really is the one. This will go on till you are sure, and you make a commitment, or it all just fades away and reverts to type 1. Unless of course girl watches some show like this and kills it because she thinks "not sure" means "not that interested"

Subtle difference right?

**heavenly.talker** · 16th December 2005, 07:40

Originally Posted by Pillick

your sig raises other possibilities of why you would have 15 years of talkative male clientle... =P But seriously, I think there are two types of not-committed relationships that guys have (or at least, that I've had) Subtle difference right?

You do know that men can't multi-task right...so what you are suggesting above about other possibilities is near impossible

What you speak of is something very common. Woman hang around in the hope that something deep and meaningful will develop...this hardly ever happens.

It's like the big question I kept asking men all through the years.

What is the difference between a girl that you adore (best friend) and that you are happy to shag but would never settle down with and the woman that you fall in love with?

Women sooo don't get this

**R1madness** · 16th December 2005, 07:54

Originally Posted by cowpoos

are you sure you don't ride a yamaha?

Yes i bloody do what of it???????????

**ManDownUnder** · 16th December 2005, 08:02

Originally Posted by heavenly.talker

What is the difference between a girl that you adore (best friend) and that you are happy to shag but would never settle down with and the woman that you fall in love with?

Women sooo don't get this

It's the soul mate thing. A lot (a lot) of guy's don't get it either... till it happens. It takes the emphasis off the physical aspects of the relationship (sex as "doing stuff") by adding a deep emotional side.

In the meantime, the physical relationship is what gets enjoyed. It souknds like the women want to build on that initial relationship to get to the amasing soul mate emotional one, but most guys are happy with the physical.

Ever noticed how a lot of guys are happy to jump any brainless bimbo... ? Compare that to how many women would do the same.

**heavenly.talker** · 16th December 2005, 19:48

Originally Posted by ManDownUnder

It's the soul mate thing. A lot (a lot) of guy's don't get it either... till it happens. It takes the emphasis off the physical aspects of the relationship (sex as "doing stuff") by adding a deep emotional side.

So often you are the voice of reason :spudflip:
Wanted to give you bling for the post but alas I need to spread it around some more before you can get some

Originally Posted by ManDownUnder

Ever noticed how a lot of guys are happy to jump any brainless bimbo... ? Compare that to how many women would do the same.

Well it really depends what generation you are talking to...mine not that many...the youth of today are far more racy and will chuck a leg over anything for some weekend entertainment. My niece got to double figures before her 18th birthday and she is tame compared to many of her friends! I keep telling her she will wear it out but hooking up with randoms seems to be the cool thing to do

**BuFfY** · 16th December 2005, 19:58

Originally Posted by heavenly.talker

Well it really depends what generation you are talking to...mine not that many...the youth of today are far more racy and will chuck a leg over anything for some weekend entertainment. My niece got to double figures before her 18th birthday and she is tame compared to many of her friends! I keep telling her she will wear it out but hooking up with randoms seems to be the cool thing to do

My generation is the same.... unfortunatly, and many of us get grouped into this "lot". A lot of it comes from what we grow up with, we felt as though we needed to act older in order to be "cool" which is really sad.
Yeh some girls go out like that... they are called skanks... yet some do that sort of thing because they think that if they sleep with a guy he will want to talk to her again because when she didn't go home with the guy from the week before he never called... so I can see where this book is coming from, it is trying to get girls to get over the guys that are obviously not into them.. hence the anoying quote! If only guys would learn that if they are not into the girl they should not say... yeah I'll call ya... cause that is how girls get hurt!

**maddog007** · 16th December 2005, 21:52

Originally Posted by BuFfY

some do that sort of thing because they think that if they sleep with a guy he will want to talk to her again because when she didn't go home with the guy from the week before he never called... so I can see where this book is coming from, it is trying to get girls to get over the guys that are obviously not into them.. hence the anoying quote!

well i was always of the thought that to expect to sleep with the girl on the first date was a no no, & disrespectful,not to mention that its not likely to be a long term thing if that happens. so now women are telling us that if we dont try to get in there pants from the moment we meet,then we arent into them !!!.

it makes you wonder which gender has sex on there minds more.

**BuFfY** · 18th December 2005, 15:55

Originally Posted by maddog007

well i was always of the thought that to expect to sleep with the girl on the first date was a no no, & disrespectful,not to mention that its not likely to be a long term thing if that happens. so now women are telling us that if we dont try to get in there pants from the moment we meet,then we arent into them !!!.

it makes you wonder which gender has sex on there minds more.

Maybe it is the fact you are a fabulous Cantab that has lead you to have this view?
But yeah girls so think, and talk about sex, a lot more than they make public... trust me!

**Maha** · 18th December 2005, 16:14

Originally Posted by cowpoos

oh my god

....you still seem to think that quote you ripped off from a joke is funny....are you sure you don't ride a yamaha?

Mr POOOOOOS ! I GUESS LIVING WHERE YOU DO, ALL THAT METHANE IN THE AIR HAS CLOUDED YOUR THINKING. TELL ME? WHICH BIKE MANUFACTURER WON BOTH THE MOTOGP AND WORLD SUPER X THIS YEAR? THAAAAAAAAATS RIGHT YAMAHA..........YOU AND OPRAH SHOULD HAVE A CHAT SOMETIME....

**WINJA** · 18th December 2005, 17:19

mr poooooos ! i guess living where you do, all that methane in the air has clouded your thinking. tell me? which bike manufacturer won both the motogp and world super x this year? thaaaaaaaaats right yamaha..........you and oprah should have a chat sometime....

rossi won the motogp with the assistance of jerry ,and he coulda done it on the blatta ,kawasaki or suzuki , he was making a point going to yamaha so that he could win on a bike that had established itself as average, if you wanna boast about the yam just point out its placing in master bike this year