Advertise with Kiwi Biker
Page 105 of 105 FirstFirst ... 55595103104105
Results 1,561 to 1,567 of 1567

Thread: What's your sickest joke?

  1. #1561
    Join Date
    21st June 2016 - 08:52
    Bike
    1976 Honda 125
    Location
    Wellington
    Posts
    5

    Smile Sick Text Jokes

    The world record for a 30
    second advertisment will be
    set during superbowl 2019.A
    cool 5 million! By the Duke
    of Edinburgh appealing for
    someone to insure him to
    drive.

    I once stayed at a gay hotel in
    the lake district that was
    supposed to be haunted.I
    didn't actually see a ghost but
    the landlord and his partner did
    put the willies up me.

    Love watching kickboxer.
    Nothing says Thailand like a
    Belgian playing an American
    doing a chinese marial art in
    front of a cambadian temple.

    Why don't cats shave?
    Because 8 out of 10 cat
    owners said their cats
    prefer Whiskas.

    "Where the fuck have you
    been?" shouted my wife."It's
    been three days!" "It's your
    fault," I replied."When I went
    out you told me not to come
    home drunk again."

    My beautiful daughter picked
    her way slowly down the stairs
    looking resplendent in her
    shimmering silk wedding dress.
    A ribbon bedecked Rolls-Royce
    idled outside.As the
    bride-to be entered the lounge
    my wife piped up,"Give us a
    twirl,give us a twirl!" I thought
    "Typical,our first born is getting
    married in half an hour and all
    she can think about is stuffing
    her fat fucking face with
    chocolate flake bars!"

    I got booted off my market stall
    yesterday for fuck all...This wee
    chinese man walked by,so I
    stopped him and said,"Do you want
    to buy a baseball cap?"...He replied
    "No," so I kept persevering and he
    lost the rag..."I keep telling you
    no,no,no so why you keep
    wanting me to buy baseball cap?"...
    ...I replied,"Because it looks as
    though the sun's in your eyes"...

    A child has won an award for 999
    call.My daughter's well pissed off,
    she's made well over a thousand
    and won fuck all.

  2. #1562
    Join Date
    21st June 2016 - 08:52
    Bike
    1976 Honda 125
    Location
    Wellington
    Posts
    5

    Smile Sick Text Jokes

    So Liam Neeson wanted to kill
    an innocent black man on the
    street for no reason
    whatsoever.Since when has any
    black man been innocent?

    I thougt I was watching
    Mississippi Burning earlier
    before I realised its what
    Liam Neeson sent into You've
    Been Framed in 1994.

    When Liam Neeson said what
    he said about walking the
    downtown streets with a
    metal-bar and looking for
    a black man to kill,but
    not being able to find
    one,I couldn't believe
    it....Did he not check
    the public toilets?

    So 40 years ago Liam Neeson
    walked the streets of Dublin
    with a metal-bar looking for
    black men.If we had know
    that we could have encouraged
    Bob Geldolf and Bono to do
    an Al Jolson duet.

    The chinese regret to inform
    Muslims worldwide,that this is
    the year of the pig!

    Pisses me off that some silly
    cunt somewhere makes up shit
    like Januhairy and Movember.
    I remember when we knew the
    months by the four seasons,
    Fucking cold,Getting warmer,
    Rainy months,and soon be
    Fucking cold again.

    I always try to have sex with
    new girlfriends in the toilet
    so if and when we break up I can
    tell everybody that she take it in
    the shitter.

  3. #1563
    Join Date
    21st June 2016 - 08:52
    Bike
    1976 Honda 125
    Location
    Wellington
    Posts
    5

    Smile Sick Text Jokes

    After taking advice from his
    agent,Liam Neeson has
    decided to change his name in
    order to start afresh with his
    movie career.He'll now be
    known as Liam Swatsanigger.

    I n the interest of racial
    harmony,Liam Neeson has
    paid for thousands of Ethnic
    Geometric pictures to be given
    to members of the Black
    community without charge
    Apply online @
    www.freeneesonmandala

    Breaking News:Man dies after
    overdosing on viagra.His wife
    took it very hard.

    Sky News have warned that we
    need to brace ourselves for ten
    centimetre tonight.I don't like
    the way my wife rolled her eyes
    when she heard that.

    Back in my day we
    didn't have as many
    warning labels.
    People weren't so
    fucking stupid.

  4. #1564
    Join Date
    21st June 2016 - 08:52
    Bike
    1976 Honda 125
    Location
    Wellington
    Posts
    5

    Smile Sick Text Jokes

    Who runs faster than a black guy
    with a stolen TV? His little brother
    with the remote.

    I was dating a new girl,she was fit,
    fun abd a bit of a cheeky spunky
    sort too.We were saving money
    for a flat,so I said to her,"Why do
    I buy condoms when you never
    make me wear them?" she
    sniggered,"Probably the same
    reason I bring my purse out on a
    date,knowning I'll never spend a
    penny!"

    The chinese coined the phrase "It's
    not you...it's me" while looking at
    their family albums!!

    The wife said,"I'm sick to death of
    you,everything I say goes in one
    ear and straight out the other" I
    said,"You know most of the time if
    I'm lucky it doesn't even go in one
    ear."

    Technology has immesurably
    improved men's sex lives over
    the last 40 years.The pages of
    pornHub don't get stuck
    together.

    My uncle is a Gynaecologist,he
    retired last year but sill does a
    bit of part-time work.He likes
    to keep his hand in.

    Got home from work and saw
    the post-it note on the fridge.
    In bold letters "I've left you" I
    poured myself a celebratory
    whisky kicked off my shoes and
    put on my favourite porn dvd.I
    was mid wank when the door
    opened and there stood the
    wife with her mother.My wife
    ushered her mum shrieking in
    shock out of the room.I got
    dressed sheepishly and noticed
    the yellow bit of paper stuck on
    the sole of the shoe I'd kicked
    off,it read "a lasagna in the
    oven,gone shopping with mum
    back soon xxx"


    When I was a child,if I saw
    someone with something I
    couldn't have,I wanted to ruin
    it for them out of bitter jealous
    petty resentment,but I grew
    out of it....unlike feminists.

    My sister has 2 jobs,doing
    wedding buffets and worling in
    the cervical smear clinic.
    preparing the patients.She
    prides herself for always putting
    on a good spread.

  5. #1565
    Join Date
    21st June 2016 - 08:52
    Bike
    1976 Honda 125
    Location
    Wellington
    Posts
    5

    Smile Sick Text Jokes

    Ozzie Osbourne
    the Black Sabbath
    front man has
    been rushed into
    intensive care.
    Raising serious
    concerns about his
    health. .Sharon
    said that doctors
    fear the worst.
    Others think that
    they are just being
    paranoid.

    According to a
    survey,17% of
    men would allow
    their sporting idol
    to have sex with
    their girlfriend or
    wife.So would I,
    but then again my
    sporting idol is
    Maria Sharopora.

    Whenever I eat at
    McDonald's I like
    to have a Happy
    Meal.So I make
    sure I leave the
    wife and kids at
    home where they
    fucking belong.

    Be wary when
    someone offers to
    cook a classical
    recipe curry.This
    morning taking a
    dump my arse was
    in rhythm with the
    William Tell
    overture.

    My girlfriend told
    me she hoped I
    had something
    special planned for
    Valentine's Day.I
    said,"I'm working
    on it." and she
    smiled,which was
    weird as I thought
    she would be
    upset that I'm
    having to work on
    Valentine's Day.

  6. #1566
    Join Date
    21st June 2016 - 08:52
    Bike
    1976 Honda 125
    Location
    Wellington
    Posts
    5

    Smile Sick Text Jokes

    El Chapo the
    notorious drug
    lord,has been
    found guilty of
    trafficking at a
    New York City
    trial and will now
    spend the rest of
    his life in a U.S
    prison.There you
    go Trump,a
    cheaper wall for
    Mexicans.

  7. #1567
    Join Date
    20th January 2010 - 14:41
    Bike
    husaberg
    Location
    The Wild Wild West
    Posts
    9,283



    Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •