Watts this I hear, Charlie
has died?
A Rolling Stone gathers no Moss.
I beg to differ.
Ah, the Rolling Bones.
Not many volts.
Zero Watts.
R. I. P. Stones drummer
Charlie Watts
on his way up there,
someone tried to nick
his harp. He was heard
shouting
"Hey you get off of my
cloud!"
"Hey you! Get off my
cloud"
"Piss off Charlie, I was
here first" - Brian Jones.
"God Gimme shelter.
Can't you hear me
knocking?"
"Sorry Charlie you can't
always get what you want.
You had sympathy with
the Devil."
Celebrity Deathmatch latest :
Beatles 2-2 Stones
Lennon 40' Jones 27'
Harrison 58' Watts 80'
Greta Thunberg has just
announced that those
old perennial favourite,
The Rolling Stones, were
as of today much more
energy efficient due to the
25% reduction in Wattage
out put.
"Turd on the run" said
Jagger when he heard of
her comment.
Don Everly dead at 84
Bye Bye Bruv.
So the remake of the
horror movie Candyman
is going to be an all black
cast to prove black people
in the movies aren't all
Stereotypical blacks.
Well that's backfired
already considering the
first person to die will be
black.
My drug dealer is thick as
shit.
I asked him how much 10
grams of ice is.
He said, "Don't ask me,
you do the meth."
Experts have recently
pinpointed the reason
for the decline birth rate
in the country.... lack of
communication between
couples, some of them
even resorting to texting
instead of speaking to
each other.
Her.... Is it in yet?
Him.... No, not yet
Her.... Get a move on and
put it in now.
Him.... fiddles around for a
bit.... OK, it's in, now what?
Her.... God give me
strength! set the
temperature to 200
Celsius and the timer to
ninety minutes.... I don't
want the chicken burnt
again.
I think Alexa has probably
been told to fuck off and
called a cunt more than
anything else in the world.
Corey Taylor from Slipknot
has Covid.
And that's while he's been
wearing a mask for years
I had a horrible holiday
in Dover. I got horribly
sunburnt and I fell in the
sea. My wufe got caught
up in a towel while trying
to rescue me. By the time
the coastguard got us
out, I was just babbling
nonsense. It was horrible.
On the upside, they
thought I was a paki
'refugee', so now I'm
writing this on my
brand new iPhone in my
mansion while waiting for
my $2000 a week giro to
arrive.
"Bloody" is no longer
Britain’s most popular
swear word, a study has
found.
The new titles will appear
in the Beano and Dandy
for kids
"gobs-e" "s-hot" "s-
muchness" "s-house,"
"s-hole," and "s-storm
McDonalds are having
great problems getting
milkshake to their
restaurants.
Is it any wonder? I can't
even get it up the fucking
straw.
Executions. The only way
the Taliban can get a head.
My grandad owned a car
dealership, but because
of his experiences in the
war he always refused to
stock German cars.
He'll go down in history as
the man who rejected the
Beetle's.
And tonight on Nigella
Bites the host is joined by
Gordon Ramsey and they
show us their unique take
on tossing the salad.
It finally happened
we've reached the point
where the BBC is full of
BBCs
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