What's your sickest joke?

[Bikkie]

Somebody yelled, “Shots!” and Kash Patel and Pete Hegseth said, “Whiskey, or tequila?”


It actually wasn't gunshots last night at the correspondents dinner. It was Erika Kirks pyrotechnics.

President Trump survives another assassination attempt.

Now, Trump is trying to get California deported...



I smell Trump has shit himself again




How do you circumcise a whale?
Four skin divers



What do you do if you see a herd of rhino coming?
Swim for it



What is the biggest drawback in the jungle?
An elephant's foreskin



A new app in Germany can let you know if there's any actual Nazis in your family tree.

It's perhaps why Uncle Dieter and Aunt Elsa in Dusselldorf haven't spoken to me for awhile now.



What's white and comes in pints?
Milk




What comes after death?

Necrophiliacs


I was out with my Harley-Davidson Fat Boy and some guy asked me, "when did you get your hog ?"

"I met her 35 years ago in some bar," pointing at the Bitch Seat



My wife denied she was a Lesbian but it wasn't long before cracks started to appear in our marriage.



How do we know that Jesus wasn't an American?
Because he healed the sick for free.



My new girl and I are so in love,

Sometimes we don't even look at our phones.



My wife says I need to get my drinking under control.

I know she's overreacting, and yet neverthetheleses Iam am abbotu to atteend myy frist Alchlololoicuus Anomonomyomoyous sesion.




Running in your 50s is a great way to meet people. Today I met 1 paramedic, 2 nurses, and almost Jesus.



I was on a date with another woman, and just before the lovemaking she "thought it so romantic that I started singing Bruce Springsteen's 'I'm on Fire'."

What a time for my gonorrheas to start acting up.



Have you heard the one about the Muslim who had a massive penis?

He was hung like a gay Iranian



I was surprised when this younger girl said her favorite movie was something like "The Goonies."

I thought she would enjoy it more when I then showed her my own One-eyed Willy.

[Bikkie]

Having just seen the new Michael Jackson film, I can confirm he finally got the whitewash he was always after.

It was Bad.


Walked past a tart on the street and a gust of wind blew her dress up. I remarked, "Ooh, airy, isn't it?" She responded, "What did you expect? Feathers?"



I once had to watch kids and their mother said, "she likes a story with a happy ending."

3 days later my wife's sister is screaming at me about her traumatised niece hearing about my trip to a Turkish bath.



It was the wife's birthday and she demanded I take her out for an expensive Porterhouse.

I did one better and knocked her out cold with a Chuck Norris roundhouse.



For a party that hates guns so much the USA Democrats sure do use them a lot...