How do you rebore a blonde?
insert a leg of ham and pull out the bone
Hardcore Biker
How do you rebore a blonde?
insert a leg of ham and pull out the bone
--------------------------------------
Knowledge is realizing that the street is one-way, wisdom is looking both directions anyway
Hardcore Biker
What's the smartest thing to ever have come out of a woman's mouth?
Einstein's cock.
Learn basic maintenance as motorcycle boots are not comfortable for walking in
The instructions are simple...
My daughter's selling Girl Guide biscuits. You interested?
Hell, yeah....oh, you meant the cookies.
Do you realise how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?
Dickens Cider
Ever since her mastectomy, my friend has been hooked on pain killers.
She is always off her tits.
No body move... I dropped my brain
Aio ki te Aorangi
It's Johnnies 8th birthday and bounces down the stairs
Johnny: "Dad, dad, guess how old I am today?"
His Dad ums and ars for about 20 seconds taking the mick
Dad: "You're 8 today aren't ya"
Johnny: "Yup"
He bolts next door to see Grandad.
Johnny: "Grandad, grandad, guess how old I am today"
Grandad start to rolls the boys testicles around in his hands for about 5 minutes.
Grandad: "You're 8 today aren't ya"
Johnny: "Great guess grandad, I am 8 today"
Grandad: "I know" he says as he pops a werthers original into his mouth, "I heard your Dad say so 5 minutes ago"
I didn't think!!! I experimented!!!
BMW Motorrad
How do you know what size cock you can take it up your ass?
Measure your poo.
It's true.
If you can make it on Kiwibiker you can make it anywhere.
Hardcore Biker
What makes 9 out of 10 people happy?
Gang rape.
Learn basic maintenance as motorcycle boots are not comfortable for walking in
Hardcore Biker
A Chinese couple gets married. The new bride is a virgin. On the wedding night, she cowers naked under the bed sheets as her husband undresses. He climbs in next to her and tries to be reassuring . "My darring, I know dis you firs time and you flighten. I plomise you, I give you anysing you want, I do anysing you want. What you want?" "I wanna hava Number 69," she replies. He looks at her very puzzled and says, "You wanna chicken fried rice with vegetables???"
Learn basic maintenance as motorcycle boots are not comfortable for walking in
The instructions are simple...
I had rough, aggressive sex with my girlfriend last night. It's not what I'm into, but she initiated it.
Yeah, she started it by not wanting to have sex with me, saying she wasn't my girlfriend, and that she was just waiting for a bus.
Do you realise how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?
Rasta Ratskins
What's black and blue and doesn't like sex?
The kid in my trunk
Only a Rat can win a Rat Race!
The instructions are simple...
A sex researcher is interviewing men about what they do with their other hand when they masturbate. Three subjects are in the room. He asks the first man, who replies "I hold a porno mag." The second says "I hold a computer mouse to browse porn on the net." The third says "I hold a sponge." The researcher, baffled, says "Why a sponge?" "Well, I've got to use something to bathe my daughter."
Do you realise how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?
Wearing Hi-Viz Black.
Nintendo have released a new game for the paralympics.
WiiTards.
TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”
Anarchic Wild Child
This is the sickest joke I know ... so WARNING NOW ... it's offensive, sick, nasty, upsetting ... If you are likely to be offended, etc etc .. THEN DON'T READ ANY FURTHER ... (And no red rep .. you have been warned ...)
John Smith is sitting in the waiting room of the Maternity Hospital, waiting for his first child to be born. After a while a nurse comes in and says "Mr Smith ...?"
John leaps to his feet, stubbs out his cigarette and says "What? What's wrong? .. What's happening?"
"Nothing's wrong," the nurse says. "Calm down. Your wife has just given birth to a boy."
John's rapt. "Can I see him? Please .. Can I see my son?"
"Yes, " the nurse replies. "But it will have to be a short visit - then you can see your wife."
She takes John to the nursey and shows him a cot. "This is your son."
John's delighted. "Hello, I'm Daddy," he says. He plays with the child's tiny hands and strokes his face. Turning to the nurse he says "Isn't he beautiful."
"He's not bad," replies the nurse. The grabbing the child by the ankles she swings him into the wall at full force. The baby's head splits, there's bloody everywhere.
John is shocked and horrified. Grabbing the nurse he yells: "My Son, My son .. what have you done?"
The nurse turns to hinm and says ...
"Haha ... April Fool. Stillborn ..."
"So if you meet me, have some sympathy, have some courtesy, have some taste ..."
The instructions are simple...
When asked in a recent survey, 90 per cent of Australian men responded that their most memorable and joyous moment in life was being present at the birth of their first-born child.
Obviously none of them have ever seen a Nigerian being run down by a road train.
Do you realise how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?
BIA MMC
Took my girlfriend out to dinner last night and I can't believe how rude some people are, calling me a pedo and other insults. I don't get it, I'm 43 & she's 18.
Made it really hard to celebrate out tenth anniversary.
"Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy" - Benjamin Franklin
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