Originally Posted by munster
LOL!!
ok. Im honestly not a rascist. But....have a sick sense of humour.
Q. How many jews can you fit in a 2 door Mini?
A. 148. 2 in the back, 2 in the front, and 144 in the ashtray.
Rider
LOL!!
ok. Im honestly not a rascist. But....have a sick sense of humour.
Q. How many jews can you fit in a 2 door Mini?
A. 148. 2 in the back, 2 in the front, and 144 in the ashtray.
The instructions are simple...
was with my gran the other day and a muffled burp came from her nether region. "That's fucking disgusting, nan!" I said. She explained that things get looser with age and it's just trapped air escaping. It ruined our shag.
Do you realise how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?
Suffers from peterpan syndrome
Oh look...another joke thread!
"reads Jokes"....
...Annnnd there go's the very last shred of my innocence!(Thanks!...You sick funny Bastards!...been meaning to get rid of that
)
When Life thows me a curve
...I lean into it!
i'm motarded
I was watching a film with my little boy last night as the wife was out. He said, dad I'm getting scared, is that lady going to die? I said probably son, judging by the size of that horses cock.
KB's Chief Cats
i was a real charmer in high school. used poetry to get all the ladies, my best poem?
roses are red,
violets are blue,
i have a knife, get in the van.
worked every time...
--
Whats the best part about sex with a five year old boy?
Watching him break down on the witness stand.
--
What’s the difference between an onion and a dead hooker?
I cried when I cut up the onion.
--
What's noisy, pink and red and sits in the corner getting smaller and smaller?
A baby with a potato peeler.
--
What's yellow and eats nuts?
Gonnorrohea
--
How do you get a clown off your swing?
Hit it with an axe.
there is anti-humour.com not always sick, but usually hilarious.
-edit-
turns out there isn't anti-humour.com. there is anti-jokes, but it looks shit.
KB's Chief Cats
what's 12 inches long, purple and makes women scream in the morning?
cot death.
Moped rider
This morning, I looked in the mirror and saw my youth slipping away before my very eyes.
So I said, "Oi, get back in that bed, I'm not finished with you yet."
Don't forget to bring a towel
I like my girls the way I like my wine. 12 years old and locked in my basement.
KB's Chief Cats
dated this woman from taranaki once, as we were going to bed, i said "how about a blowjob?"
--she said "nah, just wank in a cup, i'll drink it in the morning"
taranaki hardcore!
ArseBiscuit
I like my women how I like my coffee. Ground up & in the freezer.
KB's Chief Cats
you shouldn't keep coffee in the freezer.
Forum whore
The worlds' socioeconomic status.
Tight buns
Oscar Pistorius has decided to plead guilty to murdering his grilfriend. When presented with the evidence he realised he didn't have a leg to stand on. Personally I was surprised he shot her, I would have expected him to use a blade.
Legalise anarchy
Forum whore
I think he was distinctly lacking in moral carbon-fibre!
Anarchic Wild Child
Ok .. this is the sick joke thread and this is the sickest one I know . be warned … and don’t tell pregnant women this one and expect to live ...
A man is sitting in the hospital waiting for his first baby to be born. He’s really nervous and the ashtray is full of cigarette butts and he has a lighted on in his hand.
AS nurse comes in and calls “Mr Smith .. Mr Smith ...?”
The man stubs out his cigarette and races over to the nurse. “What’s happened? What’s the matter?” he asks.
Nothing’s the matter,” replies the nurse. “Calm down, your wife has just given birth to a baby son.”
“Oh, that’s wonderful” the man says. “Can I see my baby?”
“Yes,” says the nurses, “but baby is very new and has to rest so it must be a short visit.”
She takes him to the nursery and shows him a crib with a baby in it. “Here’s your son.”
The man is rapt. “Hello,” he says to the baby, “I’m daddy.” He plays with the child’s little fingers and admires his face. He turns to the nurse. “Isn’t my son wonderful.”
“Not bad,” says the nurse and grabbing the baby by the ankles swings the baby hard into the wall. The head smashes, there’s blood everywhere and the man is horrified.
“My son, My Son”, he cries. “What have you done to my son!!!”
The nurse smiles and says “Haha – April Fools. Still born.”
(So don't even ask about the joke about the diarrhea drinking competition ...)
"So if you meet me, have some sympathy, have some courtesy, have some taste ..."
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