What's your sickest joke?

**Akzle** · 18th February 2013, 18:00

Originally Posted by Banditbandit

Ok .. this is the sick joke thread and this is the sickest one I know . be warned … and don’t tell pregnant women this one and expect to live ...

(So don't even ask about the joke about the diarrhea drinking competition ...)

that's about the fifth repost on this thread. i much prefer the good news bad news one.

bring on the diarrhea drinking...

**mashman** · 18th February 2013, 20:06

The reasons for the Pope leaving his position are finally coming to light... I bet he's praying for a boy.

**moon** · 18th February 2013, 20:38

Whats white and goes up and down in a pram???

A child molestorer's ass.

or

Whats the difference between a truck full of sand & a truck full of babies???

Cant use a pitch fork on sand.

**Akzle** · 19th February 2013, 06:36

Originally Posted by moon

...

welcome to the forum. you're in my hood.

**MSTRS:Me** · 20th February 2013, 15:35

A man is getting ready to fuck his new girlfriend for the first time. He tries to push his dick in, but he can't get it in. He tries and tries, but to no avail. Finally he pushes inside her and starts giving it to her. He says "Damn, this hurts. It's so tight I can barely take it!" She says "Okay let me go to the bathroom and make it a little easier". He climbs off and she disappears for a few moments. When she returns, she lays down and he climbs back on top of her. He slides in again, and this time it's much easier. "Ahhh. That's more like it. Did you put some KY jelly in there?" "Nope," she replies "I just peeled off the scabs".

**MSTRS:Me** · 29th April 2013, 15:47

A guy walks into a bar and sits down to have a drink. There is a hot chick sitting a couple of stools over. She looks at him and gives him a wink. He scoots over and offers her a drink, which she gratefully accepts.
After a few mild pleasantries of conversation, the young lady mentions she is going through a divorce.
"You too huh?" says the man. Why are you getting a divorce?"
"My husband thinks I am too perverted" was her reply.
"What a coincidence, my wife thinks I am too perverted!" he says to her. "She says I am too kinky when it comes to sex".
"Wow, my husband thinks the same of me, why don't we explore our perversions together?"
He agrees, they finish their drinks and leave the bar. Knowing neither can go to either house because of their estranged spouses, they drive to a remote location where they can be alone. The woman was becoming quite aroused about this time, and jumps into the back seat, and takes off her clothes in anticipation of what is to come.
"Please hurry baby, I want to get kinky with you!" she moans from the back seat.
She hears him fumble with his belt, then hears his zipper come down, then finally his pants coming down. Nearly beside herself, she is somewhat surprised when she hears him pull his pants back up, then his zipper, then his belt getting fastened.
"Hey, I thought we were going to explore our perversions here!" she complained.
"We did!" he says "I just peed in your purse!"

**SPman** · 29th April 2013, 18:06

John Key!!!!

**Banditbandit** · 30th April 2013, 10:28

Originally Posted by SPman

John Key!!!!

Oh man .. that's really very sick ...

**Laava** · 1st May 2013, 19:00

Lady goes to the doctor and complains that she is finding postage stamps from Costa Rica in her vagina.
Doctor gets her up on the table and has a bit of a squizz and then has a bit of a chuckle.
"Whats so funny?" Asks the lady.
" Those arent postage stamps, they're banana stickers!"

**reggie1198** · 2nd May 2013, 00:29

Originally Posted by KATWYN

Yep. I get it.

Leave em to it.

I hope you people understand that your pedophile "jokes" are contributing to desensitization.
Something to think about.

Have we inadvertently touched a nerve, while we think about what ever it is we have to think about, you can think about this...

What's red, sits in a corner and gets smaller and smaller...

A toddler combing its hair with a potato peeler

**YellowDog** · 11th May 2013, 09:32

Bless you indeed

**Juniper** · 14th May 2013, 08:36

So just asking. I'm not going to get utterly flamed for what jokes I post here. I have a thing, I'm not very easily offended....at all. So I'm after the joke that really offends. And I've found some stitches along the way lol!

**BoristheBiter** · 14th May 2013, 09:49

Originally Posted by SPman

John Key!!!!

Sorry that's an easy beat.

The greens being backed by the Labour party.

mind you I can't tell if it is more scary than sick.

**Juniper** · 14th May 2013, 10:01

My wife walked in as i was giving my dog a blowjob.
she said,"thats disgusting,what do you have to say for yourself ?"
i just sat there and said nothing.
she said,"The cat got your tongue ?".
I said, "Sometimes"