What's your sickest joke?

[unstuck]

This one wins, I'm off to throw up violently!

Yep, that was fucking sick.

[Juniper]

Yep that one made me gag!

[Kornholio]

Crikey!!!!!

[Juniper]

So I found this list of NSA jamming buzzwords.


Jihad, Pressure Cooker, Explosives, guns, Mujahideen, assassination, Allahu
Akbar, martyr, conspiracy, weapons, primers, detonators, initiators, main
charge, nuclear charges, ambush, sniping, motorcade, IRS, BATF, Suicide Bomber,
jtf-6, mjtf, hrt, srt, hostage...s, munitions, انتحاري weapons, TNT, Shaheed, rdx, amfo,
Oath Keepers, hmtd, picric acid, silver nitrite, III%er, mercury fulminate,
presidential motorcade, salt peter, charcoal, sulfur, c4, composition b, جهاد ,
amatol, petn, lead azide, lead styphante, infidels, ddnp, tetryl,
nitrocellulose, nitrostarch, mines, grenades, rockets, fuses, delay mechanism,
mortars, rpg7, Holy War, propellants, incendiaries, incendiary device,
thermite, security forces, intelligence, agencies, Kafir, Warrior, hrt, resistance,
psyops, infiltration, assault team, defensive elements, evasion, detection,
mission, communications, the football, platter charge, shaped charges, m118,
claymore, 3 percent, body armor, charges, shrapnel, timers, timing devices,
boobytraps, detcord, pmk 40, silencers, Uzi, HK-MP5, AK-47, FAL, Jatti,
Skorpion MP, teflon bullets, cordite, napalm, law, Stingers, RPK, SOCIMI 821
SMG, STEN, BAR, MP40, HK-G3,FN-MAG, RPD,PzB39, Air Force One, M60, RPK74,
SG530, SG540, Galil arm, Walther WA2000, HK33KE, Parker-Hale MOD. 82, AKR,
Ingram MAC10, M3, L34A1, Walther MPL, AKS-74, HK-GR6, Muhammad SAW, subsonic
rounds, ballistic media, special forces, JFKSWC, SFOD-D! , EMS, SRT, Rewson,
SAFE, Waihopai, INFOSEC, ASPIC, Information Security, SAI, Information Warfare,
IW, IS, Privacy, Information Terrorism, Kenya, Terrorism Defensive Information,
Defense Information Warfare, Offensive Information, Offensive Information
Warfare, NAIA, SAPM, ASU, ECHELON ASTS, National Information Infrastructure,
InfoSec, SAO, Reno, Compsec, JICS, Computer Terrorism, Firewalls, Secure
Internet Connections, RSP, ISS, JDF, Passwords, NAAP, DefCon V, RSO, Hackers,
Encryption, ASWS, Espionage, USDOJ, NSA, CIA, S/Key, SSL, FBI, Secret Service,
USSS, Defcon, Military, White House, Undercover, NCCS, Mayfly, PGP, SALDV, PEM,
resta, RSA, Perl-RSA, MSNBC, bet, AOL, three percenters, AOL TOS, CIS, CBOT,
AIMSX, STARLAN, 3B2, BITNET, Tanzania, SAMU, COSMOS, DATTA, E911, FCIC, HTCIA,
IACIS, UT/RUS, JANET, ram, JICC, ReMOB, LEETAC, UTU, VNET, BRLO, SADCC, NSLEP,
SACLANTCEN, FALN, 877, NAVELEXSYSSECENGCEN, BZ, CANSLO, CBNRC, CIDA, JAVA,
rsta, Awarehouse, Active X, Compsec 97, RENS, LLC, DERA, JIC, ri! p, rb, Wu,
RDI, Mavricks, BIOL, Meta-hackers, ^?, SADT, Steve Case, Tools, RECCEX, Telex,
OTAN, monarchist, NMIC, NIOG, IDB, MID/KL, NADIS, NMI, SEIDM, BNC, CNCIS,
STEEPLEBUSH, RG, BSS, DDIS, mixmaster, BCCI, BRGE, SARL, Military Intelligence,
JICA, Scully, recondo, Flame, Infowar, Bubba, Freeh, Donaldson, Archives,
ISADC, CISSP, Sundevil, jack, Investigation, JOTS, ISACA, NCSA, ASVC, spook
words, RRF, 1071, Bugs Bunny, Verisign, Secure, ASIO, Lebed, ICE, NRO,
Lexis-Nexis, NSCT, SCIF, FLiR, JIC, bce, Lacrosse, Bunker, Flashbangs, HRT,
IRA, EODG, DIA, USCOI, CID, BOP, FINCEN, FLETC, NIJ, ACC, AFSPC, BMDO, site, SASSTIXS,
NAVWAN, NRL, RL, NAVWCWPNS, NSWC, USAFA, AHPCRC, ARPA, SARD, LABLINK, USACIL,
SAPT, USCG, NRC, ~, O, NSA/CSS, CDC, DOE, SAAM, FMS, HPCC, NTIS, SEL, USCODE,
CISE, SIRC, CIM, ISN, DJC, bemd, SGC, UNCPCJ, CFC, SABENA, DREO, CDA, SADRS,
DRA, SHAPE, bird dog, SACLANT, BECCA, DCJFTF, HALO, SC, TA SAS, Lander, GSM, T
Branch, AST, SAMCOMM, HAHO, FKS, 868, GCHQ, DITSA, S! ORT, AMEMB, NSG, HIC,
EDI, benelux, SAS, SBS, SAW, UDT, EODC, GOE, DOE, SAMF, GEO, JRB, 3P-HV,
Masuda, Forte, AT, GIGN, Exon Shell, radint, MB, CQB, CONUS, CTU, RCMP, GRU,
SASR, GSG-9, 22nd SAS, GEOS, EADA, SART, BBE, STEP, Echelon, Dictionary, MD2,
MD4, MDA, diwn, 747, ASIC, 777, RDI, 767, MI5, 737, MI6, 757, Kh-11, EODN, SHS,
^X, Shayet-13, SADMS, Spetznaz, Recce, 707, CIO, NOCS, Halcon, slug, body bags,
beheading, murder, bodies, 5.56, 7.62X39, sabots, top secret, code name, alias,
underage, 9/11, 7/7, hijack, surface-to-air missile, .308, 30-06, .45ACP,
Winchester, Remington, Mossberg, Benelli, FNH, Beretta, Kel-Tec, ArmaLite,
AR-15, 9MM, MP5, mercenaries, killers, white pride, black pride, black
liberation, kill whitey, KKK, Skinheads, Nazis, Muslims, Christian, Patriot,
Veteran, Marine Corps, Army, Navy, Air Force, military, paramilitary, riot,
protest, revolt, revolution, algorism, coup d'état, scope, arson, demolition,
tyranny, Obama, contingency, rally point, uranium, gold, silver, NSA, IRS,
Agent Orange, DOJ, Quran, hadiths, Crusades, IRA, M249, M203, grenades, primer,
S&W, Police, OWS, rape, sodomy, serum, injection, cocaine, crystal meth,
camouflage, marijuana, opium, Gulf War, poppy fields, heroine, PCP, Hashish,
Percocet, Oxycodone, pornography, Oxycontin, Oxycodone HCl, evil, Highball,
ROE, drone, Saudi Arabia, al-Qaeda, Taliban, bombing, Timothy McVeigh, M134,
Terry Nichols, Ruby Ridge, Waco, David Koresh, Israel, ghillie suit, IDF,
ARROW, USSR, KGB, undercover, Delta Force, Templar, revenge, hatred, passport,
VISA, airplanes, WTC, targets, HALO, safe house, sentry, gun powder,
bodyguards, dart gun, silencer, codename, Benghazi, Fast and Furious, Wide
Receiver, tyranny, blood, honor killing, triangulation, kill zone, mutilation,
racist, det cord, hollow point, buck shot, torture, socialist, RINO, Verizon,
Obamacare, ball bearings, water board, dungeon, Kabar, handcuffs, zip ties, prison,
rental truck, bin Laden, blackmail, bootleg, Truth Serum, interceptor, CIA,
FBI, DIA, NCIS, CSI, morgue, sodium pentothal, scout sniper, autopsy, EDL,
shrapnel, collateral damage, M1, Islamification, CPU, camo, hidden,
penitentiary, dictator, Exsanguination, Minigun, payback, Communist,
imperialistic, libertarian, conservative, double tap, Chechen rebels,
separatist, headshot, Tea Party, Kevlar, Lee Harvey Oswald, wire tap, M14,
recordings, bug, surveillance, hunt down, axe, pistols, surplus, Harakat,
al-Shabaab, prepper, succession, stockpile, SHF, AT-4, anti-tank,
armor-piercing, Dum-dum bullets, NDAA, Heritage, psychoactive, Fox News, Glen
Beck, Patriot Act, treason, cyanide, punishment, حركة الشباب المجاهدين,
Marxists, ACLU, Taser, retribution, poison, black powder, Rush Limbaugh,
reward, briefcase, investigation, prison, IED, outlaw, electrocution, throwing
star, imam, cleric, al-Awlaki, Xarakada Mujaahidiinta, PLO, Palestine,
Hezbollah, treasonous, traitors, tree of liberty, body penetrating gps/computer dust has been stolen by the Chinese government,


Now lets sit back and wait

[Laava]

What a naughty girl!

[Juniper]

Did you hear about the Lorena Bobbit computer virus?
It's re-formats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy. Then discards it through windows.

[Juniper]

Ted Bundy was walking through the woods late at night with a woman. She turned to him and said, "It's really scary walking through here in the dark."

He looked at her and said, "How do you think I feel? I'll be walking back on my own!"

[Juniper]

What is 6.9 ?

A really good thing ruined by a period!

[Kornholio]

Did you hear about the Lorena Bobbit computer virus?
It's re-formats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy. Then discards it through windows.

"tumbleweeds"

Ted Bundy was walking through the woods late at night with a woman. She turned to him and said, "It's really scary walking through here in the dark."

He looked at her and said, "How do you think I feel? I'll be walking back on my own!"

Redemption!!!!

[Juniper]

Another term for...

Giving head to an old fashioned girl:


Eating a fur-burger...


When is it no fun?


Too much ketchup...

[Juniper]

What is the difference between oral and anal sex?

Oral sex makes your day and Anal sex makes your whole weak.

[Juniper]

Every time I see a Black man wearing bling I think to myself, "well done".
Because after hundreds of years and slavery and oppression
He's now free to spend thousands of dollars putting himself in chains.

[Juniper]

Three Labrador Retrievers, a black, blond, and a chocolate, were waiting in the Vets' office and started talking to each other. The chocolate asked "What are you here for?"

The black one responded "I'm a barker. Bark at everything, all the time. Mailman, neighbors, sometimes for no reason at all. Drives my owners crazy. They think if I'm neutered I'll settle down, so here I am."

The blond answered "Me, I'm a chewer. Pillows, shoes, everything. He buys me bones, toys, doesn't matter. Last week it was the sofa cushion. Boy, was he pissed! So I'm getting fixed too."

The chocolates' turn came and he confessed "I'm a humper. Furniture, peoples legs, I just can't stop. My owner was ready for her bath, I guess she lost a contact lens or something on the floor, but I saw my chance. Started humping her right there in the bathroom. So now I'm here."

"Oh! So I guess it's "nuts off" for you too, huh?" the first two asked.

"No" He replied. "But she does want to get my nails trimmed."

[imdying]

Why can't you fool an aborted baby?


It wasn't born yesterday.

[Maha]

Three members names that go together well..

ManDownUnder Goblin Snot