What's your sickest joke?

[Paul in NZ]

A man staggered into a hospital with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes, and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat.

Naturally, the Doctor asked him, 'What happened to YOU?'

'Well, I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we both sliced our golf balls into a field of cattle.

We went to look for them and while I was looking around I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end.'

'I walked over, lifted its tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife's monogram on it - stuck right in the middle of the cow's fanny.

Still holding the cow's tail up, I yelled to my wife, 'Hey, this looks like yours!''

'I don't remember much after that'

[Juniper]

The other day a friend loaned me an Asian porn video to watch. I wasn't sure what I was expecting, but it was just strange. It was a kung-fu movie parody called Crouching Pussy, Hidden Penis. Starring in it were Hung Lo, Long Dong, Won Dum Fuk, Sum Dum Gai and his sister, Sum Yung Ting.

[Juniper]

How do you fix a broken dishwasher..?

Toss her a towel, slap her in the back of the head, and tell her to get back to work!

[unstuck]

How do you fix a broken dishwasher..?

Toss her a towel, slap her in the back of the head, and tell her to get back to work!

IO, Im the dishwasher in this household, aint no one slapping me in the fucking head and walking to A and E.

[Crasherfromwayback]

Why did they bury Freddie Mercury with his bum poking out of the dirt?

















So his mates could drop in for a cold one.

[Juniper]

IO, Im the dishwasher in this household, aint no one slapping me in the fucking head and walking to A and E.

Are you broken?

[unstuck]

Are you broken?

Very, but I still wash dishes.

[Juniper]

What are the two most important holes in a woman's body?
No, not those you sick Bastard!!!
It is her nostrils because they allow her to breathe while she sucks cock!!!

[Crasherfromwayback]

What are the two most important holes in a woman's body?
No, not those you sick Bastard!!!
It is her nostrils because they allow her to breathe while she sucks cock!!!

What's sick about that?

[Drew]

What's sick about that?

And who fucken cares if she can breath?

[Crasherfromwayback]

And who fucken cares if she can breath?

Kinda important if you want round two at some stage Bro...

[Drew]

Kinda important if you want round two at some stage Bro...

It does?

I find they want to talk and be annoying afterwards. Chocking them fixes the issue.

[Juniper]

Kinda important if you want round two at some stage Bro...

Body still warm........?

[Crasherfromwayback]

Body still warm........?

Lol. I'll come back with a joke regarding such issues once the motorcycle racing has finished.

[Drew]

Lol. I'll come back with a joke regarding such issues once the motorcycle racing has finished.

And a little boy waits...