"The best engine in the world is the vagina.
It can be started with one finger.
It is self-lubricating.
It takes any size piston.
And it changes its own oil every four weeks.
It is only a pity that the management system is so f**king temperamental."
I have evolved as a KB member.Now nothing I say should be taken seriously.
Inmates at rangipo prison farm used to tattoo girls names onto pigs before fucking them, kinda put you off xmas dinner when your ham has julie tattooed into its flesh.![]()
For a man is a slave to whatever has mastered him.Keep an open mind, just dont let your brains fall out.
You should see my wedding photos.
MMMMMMmmmmm, bacon!
Top 10 Bacon Quotes from Homer Simpson:
1.“(Lisa) “I’m going to become a vegetarian” (Homer) “Does that mean you’re not going to eat any pork?” “Yes” “Bacon?” “Yes Dad” Ham?” “Dad all those meats come from the same animal” “Right Lisa, some wonderful, magical animal!”"
2.“Porkchops and bacon, my two favorite animals.”
3.“When you’re in my house you shall do as I do and believe who I believe in. So Bart butter your bacon.”
4.“Is it Bacon Day?”
5.“Mmmm. Move over, eggs. Bacon just got a new best friend – fudge.”
6.“Not again! First you took away my Philly Fudgesteak. And then my Bacon Balls. Then my Whatchamachicken. You monster!”
7.Homer: I’ll have the smiley face breakfast special. Uhh, but could you add a bacon nose? Plus bacon hair, bacon mustache, five o’clock shadow made of bacon bits and a bacon body.
Waitress: How about I just shove a pig down your throat?
(Homer looks excited)
Waitress: I was kidding.
Homer: Fine, but the bacon man lives in a bacon house!
Waitress: No he doesn’t!
8.“[strained] You know that feeling you get when a thousand knives of fire are stabbing you in the heart? I’m having that right now…[normal] Ooh, bacon!”
9.“Mmm … bacon”
10.“Mmm … unexplained bacon”
TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”
Its so funny how some times when you are thinking of someone they suddenly show up.
Long story short my Dad just walked in on me Masturbating
*DISCLAIMER-NOT ME THATS JUST HOW THE JOKE RAN!!*
What's the point in living if you don't feel alive?
Toying with ones mortality shouldn't be this much fun.
IF sex with 3 people is a threesome
And sex with 2 people is called a twosome
I now understand why they call you Handsome
What's the point in living if you don't feel alive?
Toying with ones mortality shouldn't be this much fun.
What's the worst thing about getting your keys locked in your car outside an abortion clinic? Having to go in to ask for a coat hanger.
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What's worse than sucking a dozen raw oysters out of your grandmother's pussy? Sucking out thirteen of them and realizing you only put in a dozen.
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How are children like cellphones? If you've lost one and haven't found it in a couple days, chances are it's probably dead.
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What do you do after you rape a 12 year old deaf dumb and blind girl? Break her fingers so she cant tell her mom.
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“I’ve got a new nickname for you,” I told my wife today. “What is it?” she asked. “Bambi,” I replied. “Aww, is that ‘cause I’ve got beautiful eyes?” she asked. “No, it’s because I’ve just killed your mom,” I replied.
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What do priests and Santa Claus have in common? They both leave little boy's rooms with empty sacks.
What's the point in living if you don't feel alive?
Toying with ones mortality shouldn't be this much fun.
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