lingerie section of the Farmers catalogueOriginally Posted by Swoop
Aclass fukeruperer
lingerie section of the Farmers catalogue
111000101000100010011110
fixed that for you...
"A shark on whiskey is mighty risky, but a shark on beer is a beer engineer" - Tad Ghostal
ruddy bastard
What's the difference between a Maori and a Park bench?
The Bench can support a family
hiiiyooo!
Meow
A biker and his ol' lady go to the doctor because she's complaining of a persistent itch in a very private spot. After examining her, the doc walks to the waiting room and says to the biker, 'Sir, your wife has acute vaginitus.'
The biker replies, 'Yeah, I like it myself. So what the fuck's wrong with her?'
And a different but still kinda funny version:
Two people at the old folks home who decide to have a bit of funny business. They go back to his room and he strips off and gets on the bed while she is taking off her blouse and bra.
She. "I have to warn you that I have acute Anigina."
He. "Well I hope it looks better than your saggy tits."
What's the point in living if you don't feel alive?
Toying with ones mortality shouldn't be this much fun.
Meow
The godfather of a major crime family was sitting in a room when he had one of his lieutenants summon a young wannabe to speak to him.
Tony, the young wannabe quickly arrived, eager to speak to the boss.
" godfather, how can I be of service to the family?"
The godfather replied, " Tony, are you sure you will do anything for the family, anything I tell you?".
Tony replied, " yes godfather, anything"
The boss then told him to go into another room and watch porn on the VCR then masturbate to completion .
Tony did as told and came back in the room.
The boss said " good man, now... Go and do it again"
Tony complied, and was told to do it again, then again.
After the sixth time , Tony returned, he pleaded with the boss...
"please godfather, I've done as asked, but I have nothing left, I can't possibly do it again, in fact I won't be able to have sex for a week !"
godfather replied..." good, here's the keys to my Caddilac, now go and pick up my daughter at the airport".
What's the point in living if you don't feel alive?
Toying with ones mortality shouldn't be this much fun.
Meow
Unstuck saw this and for some reason thought of you:
"Take me back to your place and fuck me up the arse!" Some fat girl demanded last night.
"I would but I don't have any lubricant," I said.
"Oh you won't need any, I'm very loose," she winked.
"Maybe so," I replied, "but my door frame is very narrow."
What's the point in living if you don't feel alive?
Toying with ones mortality shouldn't be this much fun.
Hardcore Punk
Cheeky bitch. I wouldn't of bothered taking them home, if they were that fat I would of taken them to a paddock instead.
For a man is a slave to whatever has mastered him.Keep an open mind, just dont let your brains fall out.
Meow
Recently, a female police officer arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22 year old white male, fornicating with a pumpkin in the middle of the night. The next day, at the Gwinntt County (GA) courthouse, Lawrence was charged with lewd and lascivious behaviour, public indecency and public intoxication.
The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way home from a drinking session when he decided to stop, 'You know how a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles or at least I thought there wasn't anyone around' he stated.
Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his pressing need. 'Guess I was really into it, you know?' he commented with evident embarrassment.
In the process of doing the deed, Lawrence failed to notice an approaching police car and was unaware of his audience until Officer Brenda Taylor approached the side of his car.
'It was an unusual situation, that's for sure,' said Officer Taylor. 'I walked up to Lawrence and he's just banging away at this pumpkin.'
Officer Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence.
'I said: 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you're having sex with a pumpkin?'
He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then he looked me straight in the face and said:
'A pumpkin? Shit ... is it midnight already?"
What's the point in living if you don't feel alive?
Toying with ones mortality shouldn't be this much fun.
Hardcore Punk
For a man is a slave to whatever has mastered him.
Jesus built my Gixxer
I agree......
Built for speed, not for comfort
Hardcore Punk
Q: When do you kick a midget in the balls? A: When he is standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice
Q: What's the difference between your job and a dead prostitute? A: Your job still sucks!
Q: How does a woman scare a gynecologist? A: By becoming a ventriloquist!
Q: What do you call a cheap circumcision? A: a rip off
Q: How do you tell if a chick is too fat to fuck ? A: When you pull her pants down her ass is still in them
Q: What do you call 2 guys fighting over a slut? A: Tug-of-whore.
Q: What do you call an anorexic bitch with a yeast infection? A: A Quarter Ponder with Cheese.
Q: Why do they call it PMS? A: Because Mad Cow Disease was already taken
Q: How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? A: Pick him up and suck on his cock!
For a man is a slave to whatever has mastered him.
Meow
Yes. Just yes!! Love!!
Thank you guys. Glad you enjoy my stuff.
I'm sick and twisted and proud!!
What's the point in living if you don't feel alive?
Toying with ones mortality shouldn't be this much fun.
Hardcore Punk
Brilliant, keep up the good work then.
For a man is a slave to whatever has mastered him.
Ta
If we're all done with the tongues in bum holes then, make with sick jokes again.
Builder puts some walls in at a whore house. When he's done ye gives the madam his bill.
She proceeds to undress, and says he can have her any way he wants to pay the bill in trade.
The builder thinks about it for a minute while the lady of the night turns and bends over. He puts two fingers in her pussy, and his thumb up her arse and says. "Now pay the fucken invoice lady, or the petition goes"!
Hardcore Punk
Then what did you do drew?
I think you meant "partition" too.
For a man is a slave to whatever has mastered him.
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