Fucken auto correct!Originally Posted by unstuck
Then what did you do drew?
I think you meant "partition" too.
Ta
Fucken auto correct!Then what did you do drew?
I think you meant "partition" too.
Jesus built my Gixxer
[QUOTE=unstuck;1130619156]
Q: What do you call an anorexic bitch with a yeast infection? A: A Quarter Ponder with Cheese.
Auto-correct too?
Built for speed, not for comfort
Hardcore Punk
[QUOTE=Kornholio;1130619424]Fuck off, thats copy and paste. I cant spell that well.
For a man is a slave to whatever has mastered him.Keep an open mind, just dont let your brains fall out.
Mr. Responsible
[QUOTE=Kornholio;1130619424]What do you call a dumb bitch with a yeast infection?
A quarter ponder with cheese.
Meow
My wife was only 23 when she committed suicide after she found out that I'd once had sex with her mum.
I mean god, that was nearly 24 years ago, shouldn't affect her!
What's the point in living if you don't feel alive?
Toying with ones mortality shouldn't be this much fun.
Meow
An oldie but a goodie!:
A certain zoo had acquired a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very horny, and difficult to handle. Upon examination, the zoo veterinarian determined the problem was that she was in heat. What to do? There was no male of this species available.
While reflecting on their problem, the zoo administrators noticed Mike, an employee responsible for cleaning the animals' cages. Now Mike, it was rumored, possessed ample ability to satisfy any female, and he wasn't very bright. So the zoo administrators thought they might have a solution. Perhaps they could entice Mike to satisfy the female gorilla.
So he was approached with a proposition: would he be willing to screw the gorilla for five hundred bucks?
Mike replied that he might be interested, but would have to think the matter over.
The following day, Mike announced that he would accept their offer, but only under three conditions:
"First," he said, "I don't want to have to kiss her."
"Second, I want nothing to do with any offspring that may result from this union."
The zoo administration quickly acceded to these conditions, but what could be the third?
"Well," said Mike, "You've gotta give me another week to come up with the five hundred bucks."
What's the point in living if you don't feel alive?
Toying with ones mortality shouldn't be this much fun.
Meow
I have been looking for this one for ages!!
One day in the Mental Institution, a Sadist, a Masochist, a Murderer, a Necrophile, a Zoophile, and a Pyromaniac are sitting on a bench feeling bored. 'Let's have sex with a cat!' said the Zoophile. 'Let's have sex with a cat and torture it!' said the Sadist. 'Let's have sex with a cat, torture it, then kill it!' said the Murderer.'Let's have sex with a cat, torture it, kill it and have sex with it again!' said the Necrophile. 'Let's have sex with a cat, torture it, kill it, have sex with it again and then set fire to it!' said the Pyromaniac. There was a moment of silence, then the Masochist said 'Meow'.
What's the point in living if you don't feel alive?
Toying with ones mortality shouldn't be this much fun.
Meow
Herb decided to propose to Sandi, but prior to her acceptance Sandi had to confess to her man about her childhood illness. She informed Herb that she suffered from a disease that left her breasts at the maturity of a 12 year old. He stated that it was OK because he loved her sooo much. However, Herb felt this was also the time for him to open up and admit that he had a deformity too. Herb looked Sandi in the eyes and said..."I too have a problem. My penis is the same size as an infant and I hope you could deal with that once we are married. "She said, "Yes, I will marry you and learn to live with your infant size penis. "Sandi and Herb got married and they could not wait for the honeymoon. Herb whisked Sandi off to their hotel suite and they started touching, teasing, holding one another... As Sandi put her hands in Herb"s pants, she began to scream and ran out of the room! Herb ran after her to find out what was wrong. She said, "You told me your penis was the size of an infant!" "Yes, it is..." exclaimed Herb, "8 pounds, 7 ounces, and 20 inches long!"
What's the point in living if you don't feel alive?
Toying with ones mortality shouldn't be this much fun.
Meow
What is the hardest part about eating a bald pussy?
Putting the diaper back on
What's the point in living if you don't feel alive?
Toying with ones mortality shouldn't be this much fun.
Meow
Bigotry: What a nigger wants to climb when he sees the Klan coming.
(Say it out loud if you don't get it.)
What's the point in living if you don't feel alive?
Toying with ones mortality shouldn't be this much fun.
Meow
A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the pearly gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.
"What are all those clocks?" the man asked.
St. Peter answered "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on earth has one. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move"
"Oh," said the man, "whose clock is that?"
"That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie."
"Incredible," said the man.
"That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life."
"Where is Peter Marshalls clock?"
"His clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."
What's the point in living if you don't feel alive?
Toying with ones mortality shouldn't be this much fun.
Meow
Brad Pitt is said to be heartbroken that Angelina Jolie is now considering having her ovaries removed, too.
Friends have confirmed he fears she's trying to leave him bit by bit
What's the point in living if you don't feel alive?
Toying with ones mortality shouldn't be this much fun.
'tart tourmenter
There was a couple going at it for the first time, and after a while, the guy asks the woman to open her legs a little wider.
She does and they continue.
A few minutes go by and he tells her again, "Open your legs a little wider."
She does, and then he says again, "A little wider, hon."
The woman starts getting pissed off but she does it.
This continues until he asks again, "Can you open them just a little wider?"
So she finally yells, "What are you trying to do; get your balls in too?"
He says, "No, I'm trying to get them out."
Suck, Squeeze, Bang, Blow arent just the 4 cycles of an engine
Anarchic Wild Child
Ya Know... .There Is Something To Be Said About The Burka ... I can see now why the arab men what to make their women wear them.
You know it hides all that natural beauty.
If you click on the picture of the Burka you can see why too.
Go ahead...it's not that bad.... I promise.
Do you trust me?
Go on................ give it a click................
http://i.imgur.com/4eqo5Nd.jpg
"So if you meet me, have some sympathy, have some courtesy, have some taste ..."
Ta
Arrrrrggggghhhhh my eyes. The goggles, they do nothing!
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