What's the worst part of being a black Jew?
You have to sit in the back of the oven
Meow
What's the worst part of being a black Jew?
You have to sit in the back of the oven
What's the point in living if you don't feel alive?
Toying with ones mortality shouldn't be this much fun.
squeal piggy
A girl and a boy were at the back of the movie theatre, kissing passionately.
When they come up for air, the boy says "I really love kissing you, but do you mind not passing me your chewing gum".
The girl replies "It's not chewing gum, I've got bronchitis".
Forum whore
Is that tickling animals or something?Originally Posted by husaberg
squeal piggy
I got into an embarrassing situation at a swinger's party last night. I was fucking some absolute slag from behind when I looked up and realised that the guy at the other end of the spit-roast, getting a blowjob, was my dad. I said "After 30 years of marriage I can't believe you're being unfaithful to mum". He said "I'm not..."
Meow
Q: What is the leading cause in death with lesbians?
A: Hair balls.
Q: How do you know if a blonde has been sending e-mail?
A: You see a bunch of envelopes stuffed into the disk drive
Q: What can Life Savers do that men cannot?
A: Come in five flavors
Q: What is good on pizza but bad on pussy?
A: Crust
Q: Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey?
A: Because Kermit likes sweet and sour pork
Q: How can you tell if you have a high sperm count?
A: If your girlfriend chews before swallowing
Q: What do you get when you get Raggedy Ann and the Pillsbury Dough
Boy together?
A: A red headed bitch with a yeast infection
Q: How do you piss off Winnie The Pooh?
A: By sticking your finger in his honey
Q: What is the ultimate rejection?
A: When your masturbating and your hand falls asleep
Q: What did Bill Clinton say to Monica?
A: I told you to lick my erection, not wreck my election.
Q: What does pizza delivery man and a gynecologist have in common?
A: Both can smell it but can't eat it
Q: What do you call a blonde with pigtails?
A: A blow job with handle bars
Q: What do you call a group of blondes on roller skates?
A: A mobile sperm bank.
Q: What do you call a blonde with a dollar bill over her head?
A: All you can eat for under a buck.
Q: What do you get when you mix a rooster with a telephone pole?
A: A 30ft cock that wants to reach out and touch someone
Q. What's the difference between a golf ball and a woman's G-spot?
A. A guy will take twenty minutes to look for a golf ball.
Q: How do you get your wife to scream while you are having an
orgasm?
A: Call her and tell her where you are.
Q: What's the difference between light and hard?
A: You can go to sleep with a light on.
Q: What's the difference between dark and hard?
A: It stays dark all night.
Q: What's the difference between a BONUS and a PENIS?
A: Your wife will blow your bonus.
Q: What's the difference between a wife and a job?
A: After 20 years, the job STILL sucks.
Q: What is the definition of wicker box?
A: It's what Elmer Fudd wants to do to Madonna.
Q: How can you tell a sumo wrestler from a feminist?
A: A Sumo wrestler shaves his legs.
Q: What is the biggest problem for an atheist?
A: No one to talk to during orgasm.
Q: What is Rodeo Sex?
A: Well, it's where your wife is on all fours, you are firmly
ensconced from the rear with a breast in each hand, and you
say to her: "This is the way your sister likes it too."
You have eight seconds to stay in the saddle.
Q: If you are having sex with two women and one more woman walks
in, what do you have?
A: Divorce proceedings, most likely.
Q: Why do married men like blowjobs so much?
A: 15 minutes of silence.
What's the point in living if you don't feel alive?
Toying with ones mortality shouldn't be this much fun.
Meow
A little boy's first day in school and a teacher was going to play a "guessing" game. She passed out different items to each of the students and proceeded to ask each student what item they received. When it was the new boy, Johnny's turn, the teacher gave him a candy kiss. She asked " Do you know what it is?" Johnny replied "No." The teacher said, "Go ahead and open it up and taste it." Little Johnny did so. The teacher then asked, "Now do you know what it is?" Little Johnny said "Noooo." The teacher said, "I'll give you a hint....it is something your daddy wants from your mommy every morning before he goes to work." A little girl in the back of the class jumps up and screams.
"JOHNNY, SPIT IT OUT..........IT'S A PIECE OF ASS!"
==========
A husband walks out of the bathroom naked, and was climbing into bed when his wife complained, “I have a headache.”
“Perfect.” her husband said. “I was just in the bathroom powdering my penis with asprin. You can take it orally or as a suppository. It’s up to you!”
===========
A blonde goes into the dry cleaners to have her sweater cleaned. She asks the clerk, “How much?”
He doesn’t hear her correctly and says “Come again?”
She giggles and says “No…it’s just mustard this time.”
===========
what do a nearsighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common?
A cold, wet nose
=============
The doctor tells the man: “You need to stop masturbating,” The man asks, “Why?” The doctor replies, “Because I’m trying to examine you.”
What's the point in living if you don't feel alive?
Toying with ones mortality shouldn't be this much fun.
Meow
A girl goes for her gynecology exam and the Dr. says he has this new type of exam it's called the numbanator. The girl asks " How is it done?" The Dr. says " well first you get in the gown' then you lay on the table and put your feet in the stirrups , I lift up the gown and go num num num"
What's the point in living if you don't feel alive?
Toying with ones mortality shouldn't be this much fun.
The instructions are simple...
I got into an embarrassing situation at a swinger's party last night. I was fucking some absolute slag from behind when I looked up and realised that the guy at the other end of the spit-roast, getting a blowjob, was my dad. I said "After 30 years of marriage I can't believe you're being unfaithful to mum". He said "I'm not..."
Do you realise how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?
Sir Cumference
Lol - a new record - repost after only four posts...
Can I believe the magic of your size... (The Shirelles)
The instructions are simple...
Ah, come on. It was 2 days ago...Lol - a new record - repost after only four posts...
Do you realise how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?
Forum whore
Now we all know what website you lot check every Friday
Forum whore
Junipers blog?
Anorak
Junipers "Blog" now that sounds dirty........what is a blog........is it a verb or a noun?
Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken
KB's Chief Cats
i would totally verb the expletive out of her adjective noun...
Anorak
A man went into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide.
Liberian says f-off how do we know we are going to get the book back
How do you embarrass an archaeologist?
Give him a used tampon and ask which period it came from.
I can't stand pedophiles.
Fucking immature assholes.
What did the cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend?
He wiped his ass.
What does your first car and anal sex have in common?
You don't want it but your dad gives it to you anyway.
I used to be a necrophiliac..
but then that rotten cunt split on me.
Say what you want about pedophiles.......
at least they drive slowly in school zones.
So I was eating this woman out once and I tasted horse semen, so I think to myself so that's how you died grandma. (my fav)
I hate rape jokes, they always feel so forced.
"Contrary to popular belief, tears aren't the best lubricant for anal sex...blood is" -Jimmy Carr
What's the difference between a cow and 9/11? You can't milk a cow for 11 years straight.
Is it poor form to tell an AIDS patient to stay positive?
How does Batman's mom call him for dinner?
She doesn't.
Knock Knock!
Who's there?
9/11.
9/11 who?
You said you would never forget.
What do you do when your daughter tells you she was raped by Batman?
Switch to the Spiderman costume.
I was breaking up with my Japanese girlfriend, and she just didn't seem to get it.
It was like I had to drop the bomb twice before she got the message.
What's the best thing about fucking a 13 year old girl in the shower?
If you slick back her hair she looks like a 10 year old boy.
What's the hardest part about having sex with your sister? Getting her out of the crib.
What's the difference between oral and anal sex?
Oral sex makes your whole day, anal sex makes your "whole week"
Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken
There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)
Posting Permissions
Reply With Quote
Bookmarks