What sits quietly in the corner getting smaller and smaller?
A baby with a cheese grater
Anorak
What sits quietly in the corner getting smaller and smaller?
A baby with a cheese grater
Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken
Anorak
"Terms for Female Masturbation
5 Digit Disco
Buzzing the honey hole
Backslappin' Betty
Bailing out the Gravy
Boat Beaver bashin'
Bouncing the bearded clam
Buffing the box
Buffing the jewel
Buttering up the whisker biscuit
Clam twiddlin' jamboree
Critter crammin'
Damming the beaver
Dialing "O" on the little pink telephone
Diddling miss daisy
Diggin' for clams
Digitis Erectus
Fingering the fountain
Flicking the minnow
Friday night lip service
Frosting the muffin of love
Giving yourself the finger
Going for the gooey duct
Impeaching Bush
Juicing the clam
Let your fingers do the walking
Lip smacking
Menage a'moi
Petting the kitty
Piddly Diddler
Playing the squeezebox
Pokin' the pie
Polishing the little pink pearl
Pumping the kooter
Punchin' the chipmunk
Reading in Braille
Riding the clitoris-sauras
Romancing thy own
Roughing up the suspect
Self-guided tuna boat tour
Smacking Jerry Garcia on the nose
Spanking Lucy
Stroking the newt
Ticklin' the taco
Tissue tickling
Twirling the pearl
Unbuttoning the fur coat
Warming the wrist rocket"
Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken
Anorak
A scientist has proved that beer has female hormones in it. He had twenty men drink twenty pints each and all lost the ability to drive and started talking nonsense.
Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken
Anorak
A little bloke is standing at a bar when a big bloke walks upto the bar and stand next to him. He proudly proclaims: "Turner Brown, seven foot one, 350 pounds and a twenty inch cock."
At this the little man faints dead away. The big man is shocked and revives him. The little man asks him to repeat what he said and when he hears it again, he says: "Thank God! I thought you said 'Turn around' ."
Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken
Anorak
4 Spies are on the Orient Express.
The first one says " I am American and a CIA agent".
The second guy says"I am Russian and a KGB agent".
The third guy says " I am British and a MI6 agent".
The forth Guys says " I am a PAKI and a newsagent".
Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken
Meow
A Street walker was trolling for business, and was outside a bar talking to customers as they left. " Wanna try something new and Exciting " she asked one Guy
"What are you selling today Darling, Leprosy? " was the reply.
What's the point in living if you don't feel alive?
Toying with ones mortality shouldn't be this much fun.
Meow
So Here I am in this internet cafe with the biggest nigger reading every word i ty
What's the point in living if you don't feel alive?
Toying with ones mortality shouldn't be this much fun.
Meow
The thing I hate about flying Malaysian Airlines is the long swim to baggage claim.
What's the point in living if you don't feel alive?
Toying with ones mortality shouldn't be this much fun.
Meow
Why Was Michael Jackson, like caviar?
Caviar Comes on little crackers.
)
What's the point in living if you don't feel alive?
Toying with ones mortality shouldn't be this much fun.
Meow
The Swede's wife steps up to the tee and, as she bends over to place her ball, a gust of wind blows her skirt up and reveals her lack of underwear.
'Good God, woman! Why aren't you wearing any skivvies?', Ole demanded.
'Well' she said, 'you don't give me enough housekeeping money to afford any.'
The Swede immediately reaches into his pocket and says, 'For the sake of decency, here's a 50. Go and buy yourself some underwear..'
Next, the Irishman's wife bends over to set her ball on the tee. Her skirt also blows up to show that she, too, is wearing no undies. 'Blessed Virgin Mary, woman! You've no knickers Why not?'
She replies, 'I can't afford any on the money you give me.'
Patrick reaches into his pocket and says, 'For the sake of decency, here's a 20. Go and buy yourself some underwear"!
Lastly, the Scotsman's wife bends over. The wind also takes her skirt over her head to reveal that she, too, is naked under it.
'Sweet mudder of Jaysus, Aggie! Where ta friggin hell are yer drawers?' She too explains, 'You dinna give me enough money ta be able ta affarrd any.'
The Scotsman reaches into his pocket and says, 'Well, fer the love 'o decency, here's a comb.... Tidy yerself up a bit.'
What's the point in living if you don't feel alive?
Toying with ones mortality shouldn't be this much fun.
Meow
Why is a bowl of jello, like a woman?
It quivers, if you eat it right!
What's the point in living if you don't feel alive?
Toying with ones mortality shouldn't be this much fun.
Meow
I was watching the news this morning when the presenter said:
"A man has been arrested after half a million indecent images of children were found at his home in Bradford. Our reporter Gary O'Donoghue has more."
Gary, you filthy bastard!
What's the point in living if you don't feel alive?
Toying with ones mortality shouldn't be this much fun.
Meow
When Jesus was getting crucified, I wonder if he thought -
"I bet this will look good on a necklace one day."
What's the point in living if you don't feel alive?
Toying with ones mortality shouldn't be this much fun.
Meow
Little Johnny is staying at his grandmother's house for the weekend with his parents. He walks into their room in the middle of the night and wakes his mother. His mother says "What is it Johnny?"
Little Johnny says "Grandma has a shrimpy!"
His mother looks at him puzzled. "She has a what?"
Johnny says "A shrimpy!" His mother has no idea what little Johnny is talking about. His mother says "Come and show me what you're talking about."
Little Johnny leads his mother downstairs where his 85 year old grandmother is lying sprawled out on the sofa in her night-gown. Her gown is wide open and so are her legs. She is sound asleep. Johnny says to his mother, "Look mommy, Grandma has a shrimpy!" He points to her vagina. His mother laughs. "No, no, Johnny, that's not a shrimpy. That's her vagina."
Little Johnny looks up at his mother and says "Wow! Sure does taste like shrimpy."
What's the point in living if you don't feel alive?
Toying with ones mortality shouldn't be this much fun.
Anorak
A girl brings a guy home one night. They get into her apartment and immediately she suggests that they do "69"
"What the hell is that?" asks the guy.
Realizing he's inexperienced, she tries to explain, "I put my head between your legs and you put your head between mine."
Still not knowing what she's talking about, but not wanting to ruin the moment he agrees to try it. The second they get in to the position, she lets go a RIP-ROARING fart.
"What was that for?" he asks. "Oooopppps! Sorry, lets try it again." she says.
So, they get into position again, and once more she lets one loose. The guy gets up and starts to put his coat on."Wait, where are you going?" she asks. The guy says, "If you think I'm sticking around for 67 more of those,you're crazy!
Q: What's black and has 27 breasts??
A: The dumpster outside the cancer clinic.
Q: Whats red and screams?
A: A peeled baby in a bag of salt.
Q: What do you do after raping a blind, dumb girl?
A: Break her fingers so she cant tell anyone.
Q: What's the difference between a train carriage and a miscarriage?
A: You can't eat a train carriage.
Q: What would Princess Diana be doing right now if she were still alive?
A: Scratching at the lid of her coffin.
Q: Why do woman have vaginas?
A: So men will talk to them.
Q: What's the fastest way to a woman's heart?
A: Through her chest with a sharp knife.
Q: What's blue and fucks grannies?
A: Me in my lucky blue suit.
Q: Whats something that only women can do?
A: Get laid after they're dead
Q: What's the difference between spit and swallow?
A: About 30 pounds of pressure on the back of her head.
Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken
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