Meow
A mother overheard her teenage daughter telling her friend "I think that the Easter Bunny might actually be real" "Really?" the friend said rather surprised "Why?" "Well I'm pretty sure on Easter Night something furry tried to rape me in my sleep, and I don't think it was a dream" Rather startled, the mother thought for a moment, then looked over at Hector the family dog who was looking a little sheepish over in the corner...
What's the point in living if you don't feel alive?
Toying with ones mortality shouldn't be this much fun.
Meow
A mother decided it was time to tell her 8 year old daughter Suzie that the Easter Bunny wasn't actually true. Suzie didn't take the news well, and suddenly began to question everything her parents had ever told her. "Mommy, so does that also mean you and daddy aren't playing Old McDonald Had A Farm when daddy makes those animal noises and you yell out ride me at night?"
What's the point in living if you don't feel alive?
Toying with ones mortality shouldn't be this much fun.
Meow
A pedophile and a young boy are walking in the woods and its starting to get dark and creepy out the little boy says "Mister Im scared" The pedophile replies "Your scared? Hell Im the one who has to walk out of here alone."
What's the point in living if you don't feel alive?
Toying with ones mortality shouldn't be this much fun.
Meow
Why did Jesus die on the cross?
He forgot the safeword.
What's the point in living if you don't feel alive?
Toying with ones mortality shouldn't be this much fun.
Meow
They say its easy to tell jokes about retards...no its not...,.to hard to explain it to them
What's the point in living if you don't feel alive?
Toying with ones mortality shouldn't be this much fun.
Meow
I met a girl the other night while out drinking, we went back to her place. She was a huge fan of Princess Di, she had pictures of her everywhere...after the crash.
What's the point in living if you don't feel alive?
Toying with ones mortality shouldn't be this much fun.
Meow
With Easter coming my Girl Friend doesn't really believe in religion.
Seems when she was a little girl her parents hung a 25 pound cross over her bed, then in the middle of the night it fell off the wall and put a 2 inch gash in the back of her father's head.
What's the point in living if you don't feel alive?
Toying with ones mortality shouldn't be this much fun.
Anorak
What defines a truly sensitive, 90's type guy?
-He doesn't make his girlfriend blow him after he buttfucks her.
Dirty Leroy is out on the playground during 4th-grade recess. He goes up
to his classmate Lucy, and tells her "I'd sure like to be in your pants
right now!"
"How can you say such a thing?" she demands angrily.
"Well, I just shit in mine!"
Q: What's the worst thing about washing your cat?
A: Getting the fur off your tongue afterwards.
Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken
Meow
A man goes to the doctor and says "I need birth control for my 10 year old daughter"
The doctor replies "She's 10 years old and sexually active?!?!"
The man says" Active? Hell no! Most of the time she just lies there and cries."
What's the point in living if you don't feel alive?
Toying with ones mortality shouldn't be this much fun.
Meow
Can orphans watch pg movies?
What's the point in living if you don't feel alive?
Toying with ones mortality shouldn't be this much fun.
Meow
Whilst strolling round the harbor this morning about 7 am., I noticed a character shouting
"Allah be praised" and "Death to all infidels" and suddenly he tripped and fell into the water.
He was struggling to stay afloat because of all the explosives he was carrying. If
he didn't get help he would surely drown.
Being a responsible citizen, and abiding by the law of the land that requires
you to help those in distress, I informed the Police, the Coastguard, the
Immigration Office and even the Fire Dept.
It is now 11 a.m., the terrorist has drowned, and none of the authorities have yet to
respond.
I'm starting to think I wasted four stamps.
What's the point in living if you don't feel alive?
Toying with ones mortality shouldn't be this much fun.
Meow
What do you call
Two schizophreniacs having sex?
An orgy
Two anorexics having sex
A double boner
A female midget receiving oral sex
Half eaten
A stroke victim and person with cerebral palsy trying to have sex
Optimists
What's the point in living if you don't feel alive?
Toying with ones mortality shouldn't be this much fun.
Anorak
A father and son are at the beach. The son is mentally disabled and is looking bored.
DAD: "Here, son, why don't you take this pound coin and go buy an ice cream from the ice cream van up there?"
SON: (in a mongolly voice) "Fang yew, daddy."
The son spazzes his way up to the ice cream van and says;
"Can I have a 99 wiv a Flake, please?"
The ice cream man says nothing. He makes the ice cream and, instead of giving to the boy, shoves it in his face.
Upset, the boy spazzes back to his father and tells him what happened.
DAD:" That's strange, son. Look, here's another pound. Go and try again and if it happens again come and tell me and I'll sort it out."
SON: "Okay, daddy."
So the son spazzes back across the beach top the ice cream van and asks for another 99 with a Flake.
Again, the ice cream man makes the ice cream up and shoves it in the kid's face.
The son spazzes back across the sand and tells his dad.
Furious, the father storms up to the ice cream man;
DAD: "Oi! What's the big idea? Every time my son comes up here for an ice cream, you shove it in his face! Why did you do that?"
ICE CREAM MAN: (in a mongolly voice) "I fort he was takin' the piss."
Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken
Meow
What does a pregnant girlfriend and locking your keys in your car have in common?
They're both problems easily solved with a wire coat hanger.
What's the point in living if you don't feel alive?
Toying with ones mortality shouldn't be this much fun.
Anorak
A woman turns to her fella and says, 'Say something that will make me happy, mad and sad at the same time.' He thinks about it for a bit and then says, 'Well...you've got a tighter pussy than my sisters!.'
Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken
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