What's your sickest joke?

[Tazz]

[husaberg]

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[husaberg]

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[husaberg]

[husaberg]

Leroy is out on the playground during 4th-grade recess. He goes up
to his classmate Lucy, and tells her "I'd sure like to be in your pants
right now!"

"How can you say such a thing?" she demands angrily.

"Well, I just shit in mine!"

[husaberg]

What do you say
to a girl with
No Arms & No Legs?





Nice Tits!!

---

FUN THINGS TO SAY TO A GIRL WITH
NO ARMS AND NO LEGS

"If your happy and you know it clap your hands!"

I guess a handjobs out off the question?

You don't expect me to do the dishes?

Could you pass me my cigaretts darling?

I would have at least expected you to cook me dinner!!!

Do you want a vibrator for Christmas?

Why do you mean you haven't done the shopping?

Oi… give me back the remote control.

Do you want to play racket ball?

Why haven't you made the bed?

Now stand up and say that… BITCH!!!!!

It's your turn to mow the lawn!

Who left that slug trail on the kitchen floor?

If you need something done while I'm gone, call a handyman!

Are you having an affair you bitch, I've been calling all day!!!!

One giant leap for mankind, one enormous thump on the floor!

Remember… progress is just one step at a time.

Put another log on the fire.

Do you want to drive, or should I?

It's your turn to walk the dog!

For god sake woman… get off your arse!!!!

[Robbo]

Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick Jill's fanny,
Jack got a shock and a mouthful of cock cos Jill was a fuckin' tranny!

[Robbo]

Humpty Dumpty sat on the bed ,
Little Bo Peep was giving him head,
when Humpty came , she started to weep
she could tell by the taste he'd been shagging her sheep!

[husaberg]

[husaberg]

A friend asks another what she was doing?
She repied, nothing really I'm bored.
He says well let's play a game, interested?
Her obvious reply, yes.
Alright, it's pearl harbor.
What's that about she asked.
Where I lay down and you blow the hell out of me.



My girlfriend is a porn star.

She is going to be so real pissed off when she finds out though.


Two five-year-old boys were standing in the boy's room, taking a leak.
One boy looks at the other and say, "you know, my Dad has two of those."
The other boy asks, "what do you mean, 'two'?".
The first boy responds, "My Dad has a little short one that he uses to go pee, and he also has a great, big, long one that he uses to brush Mommy's teeth."

[husaberg]

What's Helen Keller's favourite colour?







Velcro.

[YellowDog]

A bloke walks in to a library and says to the busy librarian,
'Excuse me Miss, do you have any books on suicide?'
To which she stops doing her tasks, looks at him over the top
of her glasses and says, 'Fu'k off, you'll no bring it back!

[GrayWolf]

Breaking morning news,
Today there was a terrible tragic accident on the Auckland Motorway, A high speed collision between a coach and lorry. The coach skidded, went through the armco barrier and rolled down the bank. On arrival of the emergency services it was realised the coach contained the whole 'Wheel Black's' team, just returning from a tour. It took the fire brigade 15hrs to free the coach from the wreckage.

[george formby]

Oh dear. Merciless.

[husaberg]

woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!''

The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!''

The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''