Rest In Peace
-How do you know if a Catholic priest is a paedophile?
-Ask him two questions:
"Are you Catholic?"
"Are you a priest?"
-A father is in the bath with his three year-old son.
-Child: Daddy, why is my willy different to yours?
-Father: Well son, yours isn't erect.
-A man phones into work one Monday morning:
-Man: I can't come in today, I'm sick.
-Boss: What's the matter?
-Man: I cut up my wife with a chainsaw, then raped my six-year-old son.
Never let your enemy see your emotions, for it is the one weapon they will value most.
Rest In Peace
i own this thread!!!
Never let your enemy see your emotions, for it is the one weapon they will value most.
Rest In Peace
A guy goes to the pharmacy. "I need some condoms for my 11-year-old daughter."
The pharmacist is shocked: "Your daughter is sexually active at 11?"
The guy says, "Nah, she just lies there like her mother."
A doctor in the maternity ward takes a baby from a cot and starts spinning it around by its ankles, smashing it into walls, drop kicking it down the corridors, etc. The mum runs after him, hysterical, screaming and crying and asks him what the hell he is doing. He says "Aah April Fool! It was dead anyway!"
A young girl walks into the bathroom while her mother is taking a shower. She points to her mother's chest and says, "mommy, what are those?"
"Those are breasts," her mother replies, "you will get them when you are older."
A short while later, the girl walks back into the bathroom -- this time to find her father in the shower. She points below his waist and inquires, "daddy, what is that?"
"That is a penis," responds the father.
"When do I get one of those?"
"About fifteen minutes after your mother leaves."
Never let your enemy see your emotions, for it is the one weapon they will value most.
Rest In Peace
A guy goes to the pharmacy. "I need some condoms for my 10-year-old daughter."
The pharmacist looking shocked asks: "Why does your 10-year-old daughter need condoms?"
The guy says: "Well, I used all the ones she had on her little sister."
-What's the difference between a baby and your grandmother?
-Grandma doesn't die when you fuck her in the arse.
-What do you do after you've had a baby girl?
-Flip it over and have it like a baby boy.
Never let your enemy see your emotions, for it is the one weapon they will value most.
Rest In Peace
-What does a Paedophile say to his daughter when she's been naughty?
-Don't make me come up there.
-What's the worst thing about sex with a five-year-old?
-Getting the blood out of the clown costume afterwards.
-What did the Jewish paedophile say to the little boy once he was in the car?
-Hey, go easy on the sweets, I'm not made of money!
Never let your enemy see your emotions, for it is the one weapon they will value most.
Rest In Peace
-Good point bout being ginger:
-Your chances of getting kidnapped are significantly reduced.
-Why do gingers smell?
-So the blind can hate them too
-Why aren't gingers lynched?
-Would you want to touch one?
Never let your enemy see your emotions, for it is the one weapon they will value most.
Rest In Peace
Alright im finished for now...
Never let your enemy see your emotions, for it is the one weapon they will value most.
The not so placid...
Bling awarded lolOriginally Posted by patd0g
I'm not a complete idiot... some pieces are missing
mucho papoosa bueno no panocha
Aargh, photos!
You may do, but you are reposting a couple
To every man upon this earth
Death cometh sooner or late
And how can a man die better
Than facing fearful odds
For the ashes of his fathers
And the temples of his Gods
Hardcore Biker
That is FKN SICK
RIP Phil (Pinky) SHINE ON YOU CRAZY DIAMOND.
Playin' around
Q. Two South Auckland girls jump off a cliff. Who wins?
A. Society.
Q. What does a South Auckland girl use as protection during s*x?
A. A bus shelter.
Q. What do you call a 30 year old South Auckland girl?
A. Granny.
Q. Why did the South Auckland girl cross the road?
A. To start a fight with a complete stranger for no reason whatsoever.
Q. What do you call a South Auckland girl in a white tracksuit?
A. The bride.
Q. What's the first question during a South Auckland quiz night?
A. What you looking at?
Q. Two South Auckland kids in a car without any music - who is driving?
A. The policeman.
Q. What's the difference between a South Auckland boy and a South Auckland girl?
A. A South Auckland girl has a higher sperm count.
I told him,
"Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?"
He said,
"Coach, I don't know and I don't care."
No longer stutter bike
Yes maybe but you do all the typing white the rest of us reap the benifits
So who's really winning
And owning this thread is that actually something to be proud of???
Forum whore
Well my worst joke was marring the ex husband.
Playin' around
Was he marred for life? Or just slightly marred?
I told him,
"Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?"
He said,
"Coach, I don't know and I don't care."
L-Plate Rider
A guy calls his buddy the horse rancher and says he's sending a friend
over
to look at a horse.
His buddy asks, "How will I recognize him?"
"That's easy, he's a midget with a speech impediment."
So, the midget shows up, and the guy asks him if he's looking for a male
or
female horse. "A female horth."
So he shows him a prized filly.
"Nith lookin horth. Can I thee her eyeth"? So the guy picks up the
midget
and he gives the horse's eyes the once over.
"Nith eyeth, can I thee her earzth"? So he picks the little fella up
again,
and shows him the horse's ears.
"Nith earzth, can I see her mouf"? The rancher is getting pretty ticked
off
by this point, but he picks him up again and shows him the horse's
mouth.
"Nice mouf, can I see her twat"?
Totally mad as fire at this point, the rancher grabs him under his arms
and
rams the midget's head as far as he can up the horse's requested part,
pulls him out and slams him on the ground.
The midget gets up, wiping his eyes, sputtering and coughing. "Perhapth
I
should rephrase that - Can I thee her wun awound a widdlebit"?
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