oldie but a goody wienier
Forum whore
oldie but a goody wienier
Aargh, photos!
This thread needs reviving..... Its a non-PC thread so give it your best shot
To every man upon this earth
Death cometh sooner or late
And how can a man die better
Than facing fearful odds
For the ashes of his fathers
And the temples of his Gods
il sesso sulle ruote
When a gay man was asked why he chopped up his dead boyfriend, made a curry with him and ate him he replied: "I just wanted to feel him dribble out of my bum one more time".
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
i'm motarded
whats the definition of gross?
fucking a pregnant chick and a hand grabs ya cock!
Forum whore
what do michael jackson and whiskey have in common...
they both come in tots
Deep in the heart...
Whats the best part about getting a blowjob from an Ethiopian?
You know she will swallow.
What is the fastest thing in the desert? an ethiopian with a McDonalds voucher.
What is the brown sludge between elephants toes? Slow natives.
A guy was going down on a girl he had just picked up in a bar, she sounded like she was enjoying it and then he found a piece of carrot, not wishing to embarass her he flicked it away and carried on. A moment later he found some corn and another unidentifiable green thing. Unable to continue he said to the girl "are you sick or something?
No she replied, "but the last guy that was down there was."
Last edited by Macktheknife; 31st July 2006 at 12:13.
"If you can't laugh at yourself, you're just not paying attention!"
"There is no limit to dumb."
"Resolve to live with all your might while you do live, and as you shall wish you had done ten thousand years hence."
LOOK.. ZOMBIES!
A man has been shipwrecked on a desert island for ten years.
Then one day he is down at the shoreline when he spots a ship on the horizon. He frantically waves his arms and jumps up and down shouting, until he spies a rowboat being let down into the water from the ship.
About ten minutes later the rowboat reaches the shore carrying a man in a captain's uniform. "Thank heavens for that!" says our shipwrecked hero, "I thought I was never going to be rescued."
"How long have you been here?" asks the Captain.
.
"Ten years?" says the Captain. "How have you coped all that
time on your own?"
"Well, I'm quite a resourceful fellow. I've built my own house. There it is, over there, Number 1!"
"But ten years!" says the Captain, "Ten years without sex!".
"Ahhhh, well....that's not quite true," says the man shyly.
"What do you mean?" inquires the Captain.
"Well, about six months ago I was down here on the shore washing my feet, when I noticed an ostrich up the beach with it's head buried in the sand and it's ass facing me. Well, I thought it's been nine and a half years, so I crept up behind it and WALLOP!"
"Oh, God, that must have been disgusting!" cries the genuinely shocked Captain.
"Well, it was alright for the first five miles, but then we
got out of step."
=========================================
There was a cruise ship going through some rough waters that ended up sinking just off the coast of a small deserted island.There where only 3 survivors: 2 guys and a girl. They lived there for a couple of years doing what was natural for men and women.
After several years of casual sex all the time, the girl felt really bad about what she had been doing.
She felt having sex with both guys was so bad that she killed herself. It was very tragic but the two guys managed to get through it and after a while nature once more took it's inevitable course.
Well, a couple more years went by and the guys began to feel absolutely horrible about what they where doing. So................
They buried her.
Deep in the heart...
The worst part about being a paedofile.... you have to go to bed at 7.
How does a blonde know if she had a good night out?
She throws her knickers at the wall, if they stick it was a good one.
How do you make an aborigine girl pregnant? Cum on her feet and let the flies do the rest.
WHat is the difference between a fridge and a blonde? A fridge doesnt moan when you take your meat out.
A guy says to his girlfriend, I'm going fishing, you can either come with me or give me a blowjob. She really doesn't want to go so she says ok and starts going down on him. "Fuck" she says, "your cock tastes like dogshit!"
"Yeah I know" he replied, "the dog didnt want to go either."
"If you can't laugh at yourself, you're just not paying attention!"
"There is no limit to dumb."
"Resolve to live with all your might while you do live, and as you shall wish you had done ten thousand years hence."
Weekend cruiser
whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?? a mosquito stops sucking when you slap it..........
Weekend cruiser
what did the leppa say to the the prostitute?? you can keep the tip!!!!
Hardcore Biker
How do you know that you have walked into a homosexual church service?
Only half the congregation are kneeling!
How many faggots does it take to put in a light bulb?
Only one, but it takes an entire emergency room to remove it!
Two really sick faggots were visiting the zoo,
when they found themselves at the gorilla cage.
The gorilla was sitting there with a huge erection.
Unable to contain himself the first queer reaches
inside the cage and tries to touch the huge cock.
As soon as arm goes into the cage the gorilla grabs him,
takes him into the cage, slams him on the floor and fucks him senseless.
A few days later in hospital the fag's boyfriend visits him and said, "Does it hurt?"
"Hurt? Hurt?" cried out the raped faggot, "Of course it hurts.
He hasn't phoned and he hasn't written…!"
Why are faggots always the first out of burning buildings?
Because they already have their shit packed!
Why can't scientist's discover a cure for AIDS?
Because they can't get the laboratory mice to fuck each other up the ass!
Two queers are in a hot tub pushing a big turd back and forth in the water. Another fag walked in and asked, "What the hell are you two doing?"
"We are teaching our baby how to swim!"
Two faggots were on a sunny beach. The first one said, "Shall I put the umbrella up?" "Yes," replied the second homo, "But don't open it, I'm a bit sore!"
Did you hear about the two fags who had an argument in a gay bar?
They went outside and exchanged blows!
Why did the faggot think his boyfriend was cheating on him?
Because he kept coming home shitfaced!
Two sick fags were taking a shower with each other.
The phone rings and Lance says to Rod,
"I will be right back darling, so don't start without me!"
After a minute or so Lance comes back,
and sees cum splattered all over the shower wall.
"I thought I told you not to start without me!"
replied Rod, "I didn't start without you, I just farted!"
.
Hardcore Biker
How do you tell if a nigger is well hung?
When you can't get more than two fingers between the rope and it's neck.
What do niggers and apples have in common?
Both look dammed good hanging from trees!
What's the difference between dog shit and niggers?
When dog shit gets old it turns White and quits stinking.
What do nigger kids get for Christmas?
Your bike.
What was missing from the million man march? 30 miles of chain and an auctioneer.
What do Nikes and the KKK have in common?
They both make niggers run fast!
White folks aren't racist . .
. . we've all got colored TV's!
Why do niggers hate asperin?
Because it's white and it works!
A nigger walks into a bar and says, "Yo! Where do all the homies hang?". The bartender says, "out there", pointing to a tree in the back.
What did God say when he made the first nigger?
Oops! Burnt another one!
Why haven't any niggers died from West Nile virus?
Mosquitos don't land on shit, only flies do!
What should you do if you accidentally run over a nigger?
Throw the truck into reverse!
Why do whites shop at nigger yard sales?
To get back their possessions.
When does a Black man turn into a nigger?
As soon as he leaves the room.
What do you call a nigger with a Harvard education?
Nigger.
Why does Alabama have niggers and California have earthquakes?
California got first pick.
Did you hear about the new Black Barbie?
It comes with 12 kids, AIDS and a welfare check.
Why do niggers like basket ball?
It involves running, shooting and stealing.
What has four legs and a black arm?
A happy pitbull.
How is a nigger like a broken gun?
It doesn't work and you can't fire it.
What do you call a white man surrounded by 100 niggers?
Warden.
What is tattooed inside every niggers lip?
inflate to 80 P.S.I.!
What happened to the nigger who had an abortion?
Crime Stoppers sent her a check for $500!
What does FUBU stand for?
Farmers Used to Buy Us
Why do police dogs lick their asses so much?
To get the taste of nigger out of their mouths!
What do niggers say while having sex?
If you scream white bitch ill kill ya!
What do you call a nigger with a I.Q. of 15?
Gifted.
Why did the ape commit suicide?
He heard that he might have evolved from a nigger!
What do you say to a nigger in a three piece suit?
"Will the defendant please rise."
Why did "Wacko Jacko" go to Kmart?
Because he heard that little boys pants were half off!
What do you call one white guy surrounded by three niggers?
Victim!
.
Hardcore Biker
There was a little girl and her mother walking through the park one day and they saw two teenagers having sex on a bench.
The little girl says, "Mummy, what are they doing?" The mother hesitates then quickly replies, "Ummm they are making cakes."
The next day they are at a zoo and the little girl sees two monkeys having sex. Again she asks her mother what they are doing and her mother replies with the same response, "Making cakes."
The next day the girl says to her mother, "Mummy, you and Daddy were making cakes in the lounge last night, eh?" Shocked, the mother asks, "How do you know?"
She says, "Because I licked the icing off the sofa."
.
LOOK.. ZOMBIES!
An ugly man walks into his local pub with a big grin on his face.
"What are you so happy about?" asks the barman.
"Well, I'll tell you," replies the ugly man.
"You know I live by the railway, well on my way home last night I
noticed a young woman tied to the tracks, like in the films. I, of
course, went and cut her free and took her back to my place. Anyway to
cut a long story short, I scored big time! We made love all night, all
over the house. We did everything... me on top, sometimes her on top!"
"Fantastic!" exclaimed the barman. "You lucky sod. Was she pretty?"
"Dunno... never found the head!"
Garage Monster
What has two legs and bleeds a lot?...
Half a dog.
What is green and mows the lawns?
Hes my nigger and I will paint him any colour I want!!
What is the difference between winning lotto and prison?
One makes your day and the other makes your hole weak...
How do you know when it is time to do the housework?
Look between your legs, if you have a penis its not time.
There I think I have pissed off enough social groups for one day
Thats the smell of desire my lady..
www.pacwit.com
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