What's your sickest joke?

[Bikkie]

It's getting daft now with this ultra woke PC bullshit, you can't even say "Black Sabbath"

You have to say, "Leroy, see you Sunday"




My wife said, "The women's Euros is on, are you watching it or coming shopping with me. "



There are three types of women.

The beautiful,
The intelligent,
And the majority.




Liam Neeson sparked relationship rumours while filming The Naked Gun with co-star Pamela Anderson.

But wait until he wakes up next to her without makeup. She will run a mile.




What do you call an Englishman in America sitting on the john?

David Furnish



I went to school with a bloke called Zed Lister

I'm not surprised nobody's ever heard of him



I was shocked to see the ball boys collecting up the balls from the women's penalties in the lionesses last match v Sweden...

I'd left 20 minutes earlier to beat the traffic.

[Bikkie]

When people get too old they take their driving licences off them so that they don't kill anyone on the road.
This is what happens next.....
They give them a mobility scooter so that they can kill every cunt on the pavement.



The meaning of life is simply a difference of angles.

'Let The Bodies Hit The Floor' and 'It's Raining Men' are a good example.



I went to school with a bloke called Nicholas Girls.

He's a photographer in the Porn Industry now.

[Bikkie]

What is similar between non alcoholic beer and a vibrator without batteries. They both fill you up, but without the buzz.




At school my favourite
lesson was P.E. Due to
the fact I had the
biggest cock. I used to
love strolling around
the changing room
naked, flicking the
weaker kids with the tip
of my towel whilst
pointing and laughing at
their little
knobs.................
looking back I think
that's why I was sacked.




This Italian man came up to me in Selfridges. "Can you tell me how to get to the 3'rd floor". "I said escalator". "I don't want to escalator, I want to know now.



Most American voters strongly disapprove of Donald Trump's handling of the Epstein files.

He's gone and stuck half the pages together.



Words with different meanings, no: 66

" Lobotomy "

French bumfun



Jewish comedians have their stand-up shows axed from Edinburgh Fringe venues as bar staff 'feel unsafe'.

Is it because they don't tip?




My dyslexic mates girlfriend said to him fuck me like a black man.

So he made love to her singing "a hip hop, a hippy to the hoppy, bang bang goes the boogie".

He's now been charged with rapping her.

[Bikkie]

Marvin Gaye

No he was straight



Uk pubs to stay open till 1am Sunday for the woman euros final.

Kick off is at 5pm but knowing them the penalties could go on till 2am......



Pubs have been granted the right to stay open late so fans can cheer on the Lionesses in Sunday's European Championship game.

Finally, we have a reason for women's football.






Well done England ladies fc.


Don't be up to late celebrating, it's Monday tomorrow and the house isn't going to clean itself!




What's the difference between a Dyson and a Harley Davidson ?

The replacement of the dirt bag.




Two old age pensioners
are having a 69.
After five minutes he
says, "Sorry, love, the
smell's too bad down
there-I can't carry
on."
"That'll be my arthritis,"
she says.
"What? I never heard
of anyone having
arthritis in their fanny
before."
"No," she says. "It's in
my arms and hands...I
can't wipe me arse."




hhhiiii isssss ttthhhatt
thhee ssexxxx shoppp
thattt sellls ttthe bbiggg
blackkkk
vibbratttttorss??? I
bbbougghttt onnne
yessssterddddy, hhhoo
ww ddoo iii ttturrrn
tthhe fffuckkking
thhinggg offfff???

[Bikkie]

Lucy Bronze played the whole Euro's with a fractured tibia. That is amazing and reminds me of that time I went to work with man flu !



I've never been that into football but now that women's team has reached the final I've found a new kind of couldn't give a shit



There are now over 1 billion websites in the world.

And 4 of them are not devoted to porn....




At 7 P.M ITV stated that 32,000 plus people were reported attending the Lioness's England team triumph in the woman's European Cup final.

The figure was double that at 6 P.M. but they had to leave early to make their husbands their dinner and pack lunch for work tomorrow.




Congratulations to the England lionesses ..
Now get back home and sort the fucking kids out




Thank fuck I'm the plumber who has to repair the leak in the Lionesses communal bath tonight





They think it's all over....


Actually, you'll never hear the end of it



I’ve been very impressed with Hannah Hampton. It looks like she’s a keeper.



Just got back home after a round of Chinese golf. Or, as they call it, Ho Lin Huan




A neighbour asked if I'd be a sperm donor for her baby..
I said " I don't know ..it's a big decision....
How olds your baby.."




'Trains delayed in Dublin after cow and horse get loose on the line.'
"The noises they made actually sounded better than Ed Sheeran!" A concert goer told reporters-



In respect of the death of their favourite jazz singer, Renault are to retire the Clio lane at their test centre.



Philippe Philoppe

I went to school with him

Always wore cheap sandals.



Doctor - We will need to conduct dialysis 3 times a week
Patient - You're taking the piss
Doctor- Yes, that's exactly what we're doing




A person once asked me "why do I think the NBA is mostly black people?"
I said "because it's based on running, shooting and stealing".

[Bikkie]

I drink Budweiser light, watch women's football, get down to a bit of Fleetwood Mac and bat for both teams ...

Still seems better than saying I support Manchester United.



Never seen so many women excited about a final

The Love Island final Monday 4th August at 9pm on ITV2



I'm off on a lads weekend.
My wife said "be good"
I said "of course, I never disappoint"





I didn't manage to watch the game last night but pornhub was streaming their event: cum on England




The Lionesses winning the Euros has shown the importance of grass roots.

Because there's no way I could watch that shit without smoking marijuana.








A lot of women say that they're uncomfortable with the male gaze when out in public. I would agree with that but go further and say let's not ignore the lesbians and queers.



Turkey recorded its highest temperature ever with 50.5°C recorded in Silopi.

Nobody likes Silopi Turkey.

Just as they don't like Silopi minge.




Turkey recorded its highest ever temperature with 50.5°C recorded in Silopi.

Turkey's cooking.




London to celebrate Lionesses with open-top bus parade.

Sadly not the kind of 'open-top' parade that would be worth watching.




"I honestly don't see what's wrong with my bumper sticker," I said, after the police came around.... "It's both motivational and pro-migrant !"

"It says - Keep Working; Millions of Migrants on Benefits are Counting on You !"