I can drive a
woman wild with
my tongue.It's
simple.I say
"Have you put
weight on?"

There's a dwarf on
Good Morning
Britian,arguing
that wrestling is
offensive...He
wasn't Happy.

My Muslim wife
wanted to try
swinging.Before
that she went on
the roundabout
and the slide.

As we stood
outside her front
door,she kissed
me and whispered,
"Do you want to
stay here
tonight?" "No."
I
replied,and went
home.Why would
I want to stand
outside her front
door all fucking
night?

I often stare at a
prominent sign on
the wall at my
Gym that declares
"NOTHING IS
IMPOSSIBLE." And
everytime I think
"Whoever wrote
that never tried to
cancel their
membership.

I was having an
affair with my
English teacher,but
she dumped
me after we had
anal sex.She
didn't approve of
my improper use
of the colon.