What's the difference
between my car and my
wife?
In the case of my car, I'm
safe in the knowledge
that someone will provide
a replacement if it "goes
missing."
Dad used to say, Always
be yourself. "
People don't invite me
to fancy dress parties
anymore.
Grandmother was telling
us tales of growing up in
wartime London during
the Blitz. The streetlights
put out, the ant-aircraft
Guns starting up, the
Luftwaffe flying overhead
dropping bombs.
" Terrible times-ordinary
people feared for their
lives whenever there was
a blackout, she said
To which I said, So
actually quite similar to
present - day London."
Considering what most
women want in bed, I
just send pictures of my
tongue.
Michael Gove missed a
BBC interview after being
stuck for 30 minutes in an
elevator.
He should have taken
steps to avoid this.
A man on a date wonders
if he'll get lucky
A woman already knows.
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