What are you
getting me for
Christmas,Dad?
Asked Prince
Andrew.For
fuck's sake
Andrew,I've told
you before
Christmas is for
fucking kids
replied Phillip.
You're right,Dad
maybe I should
be out fucking
kids.
The wife just
asked why I
bought one of the
kids a Prince
Andrew toy for
Christmas.Well
he makes a great
little girls
stocking filler.
Prince Andrew
loves Chritmas,
so much so that
he has composed
a compilation of
beautiful
Christmas
songs-'Silent
Child' 'A day in a
manger' 'As
shepards rape
their kids by
night' 'I'm having
nightmares about
predator exposure' 'My
prick can reach
the highest' and
'I'll even put it
inside a reindeer'
to name but a
few....
I couldn't believe
it when we
opened the door
to find some of
the Arabs that
live locally had
come to sing
us "Muslim
Christmas
Carols." I asked
what they were
doing and they
said they were
making a funny
Vlog-reaction
video...still
though,I wasn't
too sure about
the songs:
Violent Night,
Succumb all Ye
Unfaithful,O'Grooming
Town of Rotherham,
The Little
Bomber Boy,
While Shepards
Bummed Their
Flocks,Grandma
Got Run Over By A
Camel,I wish It
Could Be
Eid-al-Fitr Every
Day,and We
Wish You Were
Dead This
Christmas.
Yo mama so fat I
took a picture of her
last Christmas and it's
still printing.
Much to my
surprise,and for
the first time
ever,my Muslim
neighbour bought
everyone on the
street a
Christmas box.
We were all
pleased and it
seemed to make
him happy,
especially when
he said,"Oh and
don't worry,I've
made sure
batteries are
included."
It's beginning to
look a lot like
fuck this...Everywhere
I go.
My wife texted
and said,"If you
get home before
me can you put
the Christmas
tree lights on." I
must amit I feel
slightly stupid
sitting here with
them draped all
over me !
I'm not getting a
real Christmas
tree this year for
the same reason
why I'm not
inviting my
heroin addicted
brother-in-law
round-Too
many needles to
pick up.
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