Girls, don't believe a single word!

[Beemer]

With apologies to Rosemary McLeod - just found this on Stuff and it's quite funny (and so true) in parts. Particularly the one about the Harleys...

By ROSEMARY MCLEOD
Since my own family is reluctant to follow my excellent advice on matters of the heart and lifestyle, I feel the least I can do is offer my talents to other young people in need. Look on it as my Christmas present to the world.


Live by these maxims and great truths – these apply especially to young women – and I guarantee that your life will be the better for it. Will daughters listen? I doubt it. But they can't say they weren't told.

If you're fat, don't wear pink.
If you have big breasts, don't wear tight white T-shirts.
Don't wear flesh-coloured knee- highs as if they're socks.
Never believe that any cute, married or shacked-up man just wants to be friends; that he just wants a cuddle; that his wife or girlfriend does not understand him; or that she's a bitch. Believe very little, in fact, that any cute, married or taken man tells you, beyond a weather report.
Never believe that a man, any man, is truly happy to sleep on the sofa.
Never believe that you can change anyone, or that a drunk's remorse is seriously worth listening to. This will cut years of agony from your life.
Don't believe that childbirth won't hurt, especially if you exercise heaps. This is a myth put about only by people who sell leotards and gym time, and by amnesiacs.
Don't spring sophisticated, creative menus on your family at Christmas. They will resent you for it.
Don't compete loudly in supermarket aisles about the number of family members coming to your house for Christmas dinner when you grow up, and expect anyone to believe you're complaining, not boasting.
Never believe that any real person has read most of the books on the season's recommended reading and buying lists. Literary criticism? Post- modernism? I don't think so.
Never expect that any book less than 20 years old will really be a masterpiece, even when every second book published this year is said to be.
Do not, under any circumstance whatsoever, believe that you look great in tight, white trousers, or that your upper arms are appealing if you are over 25 – kilograms, that is.
Do not believe that cigarette breath is sexy and sophisticated.
Cigarettes really do make your skin wrinkle.
Do not believe that you'll find true love in a bar at 4am, that you're really attractive, funny, interesting and loveable when you're drunk, or that people will forget the next day what you said and did, even if you try to.
Abandon hope that any man driving past in a flash convertible will be under 60. The same goes for men riding Harley-Davidsons, with ponytails hanging out the back of their helmets. Don't believe that any man is truly grateful for long, for anything much.
Don't believe that any man, however old, ugly or unavailable he may be, sees himself as you do.
Note well that the way to a man's heart is rarely through his stomach.
You don't have to like liqueur chocolates or pickled onions.
Refuse to sleep in the same room as anyone's dog.
Cheap sheets really are nasty.
Violent people ultimately won't make an exception in your case.
Slingback shoes always stretch at the back.
Shoes that don't feel comfortable the first time you try them on will never feel comfortable. Don't believe anyone who tells you they'll soften in time.
Suntanned skin, the mark of a true rebel, ends up looking like pigskin one day. That day will come sooner than you think.
Don't imagine that seriously good- looking people will automatically be seriously interesting people.
Avoid any party invitation that calls for fancy dress. You will be the only one who turns up in it.
"One size fits all" garments never really fit anyone.
"Love" and "hate" tattooed on his knuckles do not indicate that a man is a philosopher. Nor does a dotted line tattooed around his neck indicate wit.
Don't get involved with royalty, however handsome. Learn from Kate Middleton, girlfriend of Prince William, whose flat has just been located and photographed in a German magazine. This is only the start of her misery. It could never be worth it.

[froggyfrenchman]

now if piswsed, but that seems pretty funny. well done

[MSTRS:Me]

Do you really have an ascerbic wit, or are you just cynical??

[Sniper]

Hmmmm, amusing

[onearmedbandit]

Ahh, Rosemary. How she hates men. Can't stand her.

[Goblin]

Ahh, Rosemary. How she hates men. Can't stand her.

I hear ya....she writes for the local rag here & I never even bother reading what she has to say anymore. Men hating women like her give us a bad rap.

[Beemer]

You guys obviously have selective reading skills - there are a FEW comments about men, but most are aimed at women not being idiots -

If you're fat, don't wear pink.
If you have big breasts, don't wear tight white T-shirts.
Don't wear flesh-coloured knee- highs as if they're socks.
You don't have to like liqueur chocolates or pickled onions.
Refuse to sleep in the same room as anyone's dog.
Cheap sheets really are nasty.
etc.

[Goblin]

Aawwww dont take it to heart Beemer
We still luffs ya


And to think she actually gets PIAD to write this stuff,

[SlashWylde]

You guys obviously have selective reading skills - there are a FEW comments about men, but most are aimed at women not being idiots -

If you're fat, don't wear pink.
If you have big breasts, don't wear tight white T-shirts.
Don't wear flesh-coloured knee- highs as if they're socks.
You don't have to like liqueur chocolates or pickled onions.
Refuse to sleep in the same room as anyone's dog.
Cheap sheets really are nasty.
etc.

In other words..."live in fear of what society might think of you if you transgress the boundaries of these rather ridiculous set of rules" "Don't, what ever you do, just be yourself/think for yourself, and generally be a colourful vibrant individual "

I feel sorry for her and any one who thinks along those lines. Admittedly some of what she says is simple common sense but alot of it is introverted cynicism.

[onearmedbandit]

You guys obviously have selective reading skills - there are a FEW comments about men, but most are aimed at women not being idiots -

Actually no I don't. I have taken the time to read a lot of her 'rants' in various publications and after doing so I have drawn my above conclusion. I consider myself to having an open mind on most issues, and would not judge a person by one article, quote or whatever. Instead I'll research them some more gathering as much info as I can to make an opinion.