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Thread: Universal truths

  1. #1
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    5th April 2005 - 12:57
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    Universal truths

    Sorry if posted before, couldn't find a match.

    1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.
    2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.
    3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.
    4) You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green crisps.
    5) Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator.
    6) Reading when you're drunk is horrible.
    7) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.
    8) You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden.
    10) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.
    11) You never know where to look when eating a banana.
    12) Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.
    13) Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.
    14) Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.
    15) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.
    16) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.
    17) The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call your teacher mum or dad.
    18) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the
    first given opportunity.
    19) Some days you see lots of people on crutches.
    20) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee flushed half way through and then raced against the flush.
    21) Old women with mobile phones look wrong!
    22) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.
    23) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.
    24) You never ever run out of salt.
    25) Old ladies can eat more than you think.
    26) You can't respect a man who carries a dog.
    27) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got your hand or head stuck in something.
    28) No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.
    29) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.
    30) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug.
    31) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard
    32) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood
    specifically to stir paint with.
    33) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.
    34) Bricks are horrible to carry.
    35) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.
    90% of the time spent writing this post was spent thinking of something witty to say. It may have been wasted.

  2. #2
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    2nd April 2005 - 11:58
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    Hahaha that's way my Pa bringed me up!~!
    They shall not grow old as we that are left grow old.
    Age shall not weary them nor the years condemn.
    At the going down of the sun and in the evening,
    we will remember them

  3. #3
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    Now those are true, and yes I do feel manly when sharpening pencils
    To every man upon this earth
    Death cometh sooner or late
    And how can a man die better
    Than facing fearful odds
    For the ashes of his fathers
    And the temples of his Gods

  4. #4
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    For once I actually agree with one of these things! OH GOSH WHAT HAS BECOME OF ME?!

  5. #5
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    27th September 2005 - 12:58
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    Quote Originally Posted by Flyingpony
    3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.

    Not if you use the ladies!
    Some things are worth dying for, living is one of them.

  6. #6
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    20th August 2003 - 10:00
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    That's all scarily true.
    Speed doesn't kill people.
    Stupidity kills people.

  7. #7
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    5th April 2005 - 12:57
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lou Girardin
    That's all scarily true.
    Isn't that the truth
    And I do so many of them myself.
    90% of the time spent writing this post was spent thinking of something witty to say. It may have been wasted.

  8. #8
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    25th May 2004 - 23:04
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    Hell, is there a prize for getting most of them? Apart from the feeling manly ones, although I do love digging the fire with a big wrought iron poker!
    Yes, I am pedantic about spelling and grammar so get used to it!

  9. #9
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    Stop reading my mind! *hides in the corner with tin foil around his head*

    and "Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly." fits me quite well
    Well what would you do? Run through the streets stark naked at 350 miles per hour with bells on your toes?


  10. #10
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    29th October 2005 - 16:12
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    Dat's amazing! Yo so right on dem all! Makes me feela bit old, though!

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