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Thread: Black Robbers

  1. #1
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    Black Robbers


    For anyone who didn't see David Letterman's take on this:
    (And it's a true story...)
    On a recent weekend in Atlantic City, a woman won a bucketful of quarters at a slot machine. She took a break from the slots for dinner with her husband in the hotel dining room. But first she wanted to stash the quarters in her room. "I'll be right back and we'll go to eat," she told her husband and carried the coin- laden bucket to the elevator.

    As she was about to walk into the elevator she noticed two men already aboard. Both were black.

    One of them was tall...very tall...an intimidating figure. The woman froze. Her first thought was: These two are going to rob me.

    Her next thought was: Don't be a bigot, they look like perfectly nice gentlemen. But racial stereotypes are powerful, and fear immobilized her. She stood and stared at the two men. She felt anxious, flustered and ashamed.

    She hoped they didn't read her mind but Gosh, they had to know what she was thinking!!! Her hesitation about joining them in the elevator was all too obvious now. Her face was flushed. She couldn't just stand there, so with a mighty effort of will she picked up one foot and stepped forward and followed with the other foot and was on the elevator. Avoiding eye contact, she turned around stiffly and faced the elevator doors as they closed.

    A second passed, and the another second, and then another. Her fear increased! The elevator didn't move. Panic consumed her. My God, she thought, I'm trapped and about to be robbed! Her heart plummeted. Perspiration poured from every pore. Then one of the men said, "Hit the floor." Instinct told her to do what they told her. The bucket of quarters flew upwards as she threw out her arms and collapsed on the elevator floor. A shower of coins rained down on her.

    Take my money and spare me, she prayed.

    More seconds passed. She heard one of the men say politely, "Ma'am, if you'll just tell us what floor you're going to, we'll push the button."

    The one who said it had a little trouble getting the words out. He was trying mightily to hold in a belly laugh. The woman lifted her head and looked up at the two men. They reached down to help her up. Confused, she struggled to her feet.

    "When I told my friend here to hit the floor," said the average sized one, "I meant that he should hit the elevator button for our floor. I didn't mean for you to hit the floor, ma'am." He spoke genially. He bit his lip. It was obvious he was having a hard time not laughing.

    The woman thought: My God, what a spectacle I've made of myself. She was humiliated to speak. She wanted to blurt out an apology, but words failed her.

    How do you apologize to two perfectly respectable gentlemen for behaving as though they were going to rob you? She didn't know what to say

    The three of them gathered up the strewn quarters and refilled her bucket.

    When the elevator arrived at her floor they then insisted on walking her to her room. She seemed a little unsteady on her feet, and they were afraid she might not make it down the corridor. At her door they bid her a good evening. As she slipped into her room she could hear them roaring with laughter as they walked back to the elevator.

    The woman brushed herself off. She pulled herself together and went downstairs for dinner with her husband. The next morning flowers were delivered to her room - a dozen roses. Attached to EACH rose was a crisp one hundred dollar bill

    The card said: "Thanks for the best laugh we've had in years."
    It was signed;




    Eddie Murphy
    Michael Jordan

  2. #2
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    23rd May 2005 - 18:59
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    Nice one...great laugh!!!

  3. #3
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    Hahahaha - Theiving Black Bastards!! They're doing by making movies and playing sports now though aren't they?




    I still can't jump or dance - bastards
    They shall not grow old as we that are left grow old.
    Age shall not weary them nor the years condemn.
    At the going down of the sun and in the evening,
    we will remember them

  4. #4
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    shit was hillarious....
    Cibby play thing

  5. #5
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    so how do I get one of these bouquets?

  6. #6
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    2nd April 2005 - 11:58
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    I think you need to get a couple of black men going...
    They shall not grow old as we that are left grow old.
    Age shall not weary them nor the years condemn.
    At the going down of the sun and in the evening,
    we will remember them

  7. #7
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    4th July 2005 - 15:58
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    A good story - but thats all it is. Sorry mate, but its a fake. Good for a laugh tho!

  8. #8
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    Bloosy hell, what a great laugh
    To every man upon this earth
    Death cometh sooner or late
    And how can a man die better
    Than facing fearful odds
    For the ashes of his fathers
    And the temples of his Gods

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by WRT
    A good story - but thats all it is. Sorry mate, but its a fake. Good for a laugh tho!
    Another version has the black guys with a dog on a lead and one of the guys says "Down!" with the same results - and of course the bloke was talking to the dog.

    www.snopes.com has a few variants on the theme.
    Motorbike Camping for the win!

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Colapop
    Hahahaha - Theiving Black Bastards!! They're doing by making movies and playing sports now though aren't they?




    I still can't jump or dance - bastards
    I cant figure out if its real or not ,
    But i cant jump either

  11. #11
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    24th September 2005 - 23:58
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    Imagine seeing that, Classic
    It's better to Burn out than to Fade away - Cause thats value for money!!

  12. #12
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    This is the one I posted a few months ago - same sort of thing:

    A skinny little white guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE black guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says, "7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch member, 3 pound left testicle, 3 pound right testicle, Turner Brown."

    The white man faints and falls to the floor.

    The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him. The big guy says, "What's wrong with you?"

    In a weak voice the little guy says, "What EXACTLY did you say to me?"

    The big dude says, "I saw your curious look and figured I'd just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me. I'm 7 feet tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch private, my left testicle weighs 3 pounds, my right testicle weighs 3 pounds, and my name is Turner Brown."

    The small guy says, "Turner Brown!... Sweet Jesus mother Mary of God, I thought you said, 'Turn Around'"!
    Yes, I am pedantic about spelling and grammar so get used to it!

  13. #13
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    Hahaha, that one was preety good. Thanks beemer.
    To every man upon this earth
    Death cometh sooner or late
    And how can a man die better
    Than facing fearful odds
    For the ashes of his fathers
    And the temples of his Gods

  14. #14
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    Geez...even better than the 1st one...well done.

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