Strange products we shal never see.
		
		
				
					
					
				
				
		
			
				
					 The new Card Game, ISLAMIC POKER: You lose a hand, you lose a hand! 
 Fairly Serious Putty 
 Lil' Electrical Outlet Licker 
 The new Card Game, 5200 Card Pickup: Keeps kids busy all day. 
 Ginsu Boomerang 
 The Duncan YO: It never comes back up. It teaches kids how to live with disappointment. 
 The Pee Wee Herman Pull Toy. 
 Nintendo 63: this one was pretty easy to come by this holiday, for some reason. 
 Capitalizing on pitcher Hideo Nomo’s success, the new toy: Tickle Me Nomo. 
 Hasbro's Lil' Barber 
 Another one capitalizing on the Tickle Me Elmo success, the new toy: Tickle Me Carrot Top 
 Don King Hair Care products. 
 Angry Bird-In-A-Bag 
 Mike Tyson’s Hooked on Phonics. 
 The John Goodman AB sculptor. 
 New treasure hunt toy: You get to comb out the beard of the Men’s Wearhouse Guy. I guarantee it! 
 Mick Jagger brand Chap Stick 
 The new doll: Turnip Patch Kids 
 A gift certificate for Hannibal Lechter’s new BBQ restaurant. 
 The new video by Don Knotts in a purple dinosaur suit: Barney Fife 
 Doggie Dentist 
 An actual copy of the latest Star Trek screenplay, “Live Long and Perspire”. 
 A selection of Vin Diesel brand shampoo products.
				
			 
			
		 
			
				
			
				
			
			
				To every man upon this earth
Death cometh sooner or late
And how can a man die better
Than facing fearful odds
For the ashes of his fathers
And the temples of his Gods
			
			
		 
	
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