Tomorrow, when most of us are filling out our five-yearly forms, Laird McGillicuddy Graeme Cairns will be cryogenically frozen in Garden Place in a cool bid to render himself "legally dead" for the duration of the official head count.
It's the latest in a long line of census-avoiding stunts by Hamilton's master of intellectual slapstick, who is once again determined to avoid the cold hand of the state.
In 1986 the Laird claimed he was possessed by the spirit of an ancient ape creature and was no longer legally a person. This was unsuccessful, with a judge ruling he had to fill out the form because he had deliberately made himself a non-person.
But in 1996 he had more success – hovering over Garden Place in a hot air balloon, and successfully claiming to be out of New Zealand's legal air space.
In 1991 he filled in his form in Latin and nailed it, Martin Luther-style, to a tree in Garden Place.
Last time around, in 2001, there was no fun. Cairns was genuinely absent – in Australia, tending to dying fellow Hamilton eccentric Captain Murgatroyd.
Cairns would appreciate public attendance from 11am tomorrow as part of his portfolio of evidence, in case he has to rebut a crown case of "continued vitality".
"Hamilton will freeze over before I fill out their cheeky damned forms," he said.
As a Scotsman Cairns is naturally used to the cold.
"Particularly as my parents owned a frozen foods company."
But at his estimated temperatures of minus 175
By law everyone must fill in a census form but in Hamilton getting forms to some people is proving difficult.
Census district senior supervisor David Fagan said getting access to some apartments in Hamilton has been hard and a few deliverers had been bitten by dogs.
But he said workers persevered and delivered "around 99 per cent" of forms.
The five-yearly census of population and dwellings is the largest official survey New Zealand carries out.
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