Your most embarrassing moments

**Motu** · 16th March 2006, 07:43

I've done a lifetime of embarassing things,and still doing them.I don't want to relive things like the dommino incident,so how about a private one?

We were gate crashing a party,and the fighting in the street was getting a little heated,and some guy was yelling - ''Where is that little shit?,I'm gunna kill him!''.I wandered through the house and into the backyard,and seeing an outhouse thought I could hide in there and have a crap too.So I'm sitting on the plank pissing hard listening to the hard stream hitting the front board....but when I stood up and put my jeans on,I found there was no front board,I had been pissing in my trou!

We had actualy gatecrashed a party that had already been gatecrashed,and our guys had sorted the first group - so we were heros! On the way back home to our camp I was driving my International truck,the one in my avatar,and as I came up to a corner the brake pedal just went straight to the floor! I pumped the pedal,but there was nothing there...no brakes! I went flying off the road and down a small bank onto the reserve...I drove around the reserve for awhile until I could find a way out.Back on the road the brakes were perfect again....um,I had been pumping the clutch pedal.

These are just between you and me ok? No one else saw this happen,so there is no proof.

**Firefight** · 16th March 2006, 08:39

think I have told this story b4, but what the hell, was such a laugh(for everyone else) First a bit of back ground... , for years I worked out at the woodhill forest bike park as a one of the park wardens, got to know most of the regular riders out there over the years I worked there, but thats not important right now !

Often rode there myself when not working as a warden, one of the more intersting and skilful riders who vist woodhill is John Nic from Kiwi rider bike mag, what can you say about this old bugger, those that know him will agree a fantastic rider, heaps of skills, Enduro ace, etc etc,not much John can't get a bike to do,, any way John often comes out to woodhill to test ride new bikes for his write ups in KR mag( yeah I know shit of a job, not !)But thats not important right now !

I often would watch John when he came back from a ride round the park he did this cool wheelie up to his trailer and straight back on to the trailer with out the ramp that most of us use, I guess you have to ride off road bikes to understand, its a pretty cool trick.

So Ia'm thinking yeah I can do that, so I start practicsing, had a few bin's but slowly got the hang of it.

After a few weeks I manage to do it with out making a dick of myself, and figure what the point of being able to do trick shit if you don,t show it off.

So I pick a sunday afternoon, the bike parks rocking heaps of riders there just after lunch everyones sitting round chilling out after a good moring ride.

Enter me, soon to be the woodhill dick of the year !, nice little wheelie up the car park (sorry Greg bad example I know) and up on to the trailer

ah- no-not going to happen- get the front wheel up okay weight forward drop , just not enuff the back wheel just touchs the back of the trailer.. so close..over we go drop the bike and pin myself under, can,t lift it off

after a while, and once they stopped laughing a few dudes came over and lifted the bike off me... they even asked me to do it again, so they could watch

....

Got heaps of shit for weeks after that, every time I signed someone up for a days ride, I'd get "hows the trailer stunt going "? or" saved up enuff money for a ramp yet ?".

About a year later, I was still getting a bit of shit from the regulars who were there that day..

F/F

**Sparky Mark** · 16th March 2006, 09:55

I took a picture of my ex on the toilet once which startled the hell out of her but had me in bloody hysterics as she attempted to hide her modesty while launching toward the door to slam it shut before the 35mm reloaded...

This prank turned out not to be the best move I ever made on the 'entertainment' front.

Some months later we took a trip away and stayed in a lovely log cabin on the east coast of South Africa, a very romantic setting which lead to us spending much time being as naughty as possible in the bedroom. So after one particular romantic session, I went to the bathroom to 'wash up'.
Now I'm not particularly tall, and the sink in the bathroom was not particularly low, which meant I had to clamber up on the surface and lean uncomfortably over the sink to 'wash my bits'.
Without going into too much detail at this point, I wasn't at that point 'entirely satisfied' and so part of me was still under 'protrusion' as I cleaned said part...

Enter ex girlfriend with 35mm camera...

I nearly fell off the bloody sink at the point of the flash going off and said protrusion immediately became an 'inversion'.

Well, we laughed at this but the embarrasing bit was yet to come. About 4 weeks later we took our films in, about 4 in all to get developed. When we went to collect them the guy in the camera shop sort of gave me a funny look, followed by lots of giggling from some other 'unseen' shop attendents. By this time I'd forgotten about any potentially dodgy material and we just left, wondering what all the fuss was about.

Arriving home at my ex's family's house, her mother keen to look at the holiday snaps, began thumbing through... All good until she nearly fainted throwing one of the snaps to my ex and uttering words which even I was embarassed hear from a 65yr old woman...

We grabbed the pic only to find a naked picture of me, delicately perched on the side of the bathroom unit seemingly, to anyone who wouldn't know better, engaged in mid ejaculation!!!

I could have fucking died!

Anyway we eventually saw the funny side and all was good. I will never forget that moment.

**Finn** · 16th March 2006, 09:59

Originally Posted by Sparky Mark

I had to clamber up on the surface and lean uncomfortably over the sink to 'wash my bits'.

You washed your cock in the basin? You disgusting pig!

**Sparky Mark** · 16th March 2006, 10:11

Originally Posted by Finn

You washed your cock in the basin? You disgusting pig!

I normally used the urinal, but it had shit in it....

**buellbabe** · 16th March 2006, 11:22

1 of my moments happened in the UK. I had just picked up my photos from my Euro tour and took them over to my NEW boyfriends place without even opening them... BIG mistake... We got to the packet of Austrian pics and started looking thru a heap that were taken at a party and there before my eyes were 1/2 dozen shots of male 'bits' !!! We are talking up close and extremely personal! I suddenly remembered loaning my camera to 1 of my male buddies that night, which WAS TRUE but my new man was NOT impressed... and then when I started looking closer and identifying the suspects things just went from bad to worse! I tried to explain that it was a theme party and that I knew what they were wearing that nite...
My man thought I was a HO and I just wanted to crawl under a rock someplace!!!!
Moral of the Story: NEVER loan yr camera out at a booze fuelled party AND when yr already in the shit... keep ya mouth shut!
:slap:

**SixPackBack** · 16th March 2006, 11:28

My favourite [ I have many]

" Whens the baby due"
"I'm not pregnant"

**Finn** · 16th March 2006, 11:35

Originally Posted by SixPackBack

My favourite [ I have many]

" Whens the baby due"
"I'm not pregnant"

Those ones are nasty. I once asked a customer what did they do to their neck. "I was born like that" Oh dear.

The other was with my wife. We were at a restaurant and I meant to say "Honey, would you please pass the salt" but instead said "Bitch, you fucked up my life"

**Aucker** · 16th March 2006, 12:15

Some of these are hillarious, some probably far fetched by funny anyway.

Most embarrassing moment on the bike for me was stalling and dropping my NEW bike on it's side at a busy intersection, I wasn't used to the new clutch and let it out too quick. I picked it up off the road in my anger and it felt as light as a feather, I guess anger and embarrassment mixed together can be very powerful!

**Sniper** · 16th March 2006, 13:24

Originally Posted by Finn

You washed your cock in the basin? You disgusting pig!

Whats interesting to me is that he had to stand on the basin. Couldn't you just unwind it a bit more and heave it over the top?

**Fishy** · 16th March 2006, 13:35

One of the first times I ever tried doing a rolling stoppie was at the lights at the Ponsonby Rd/K' Rd intersection beside a car of hot chicks (Bad Idea).

The rear wheel came up sideways straight away which made me let the front brake off real quick but then I couldn't stop (as I was at a red light) and straighten up in time and the bike was on a lean and an angle when it came down. Hard to explain but it was pretty messy and the bike ended up on its side and the girls were all laughing at me...Bugger - glad I had my helmet on!.