Fuckin child support

[Maha]

All up i pay around $10,000 pa to my ex,we kept away from the IRD and just came to a fair amount that i could afford at the time. About $7000 of that money is for my eldest daughter, she's in Oamaru at boarding school and i pay. Never here me complain at all, maybe the odd sigh, but they are my children so thats what you do right?. I dont think of what the ex is doing, no point, she gets family support as well, i dont, and i dont care, i just dont care, if i did i would end up with an ulcer, and that would hurt when i ride the bike, which i have and she dosent...................

[cowboyz]

My ex got a pretty damn good settlement when we split. Spent shitloads of $$ in the courts getting everything sorted only to be told that because I am male I haven't a hope in hell. Now they take far too much money every month. I have a new partner and a couple of kids at home at the one child from my previous relationship gets more money than both my kids at home get. How fair is that? If I had known then what I know now I would have done a runner overseas way back then. Without a doubt. Now I am *surposed* to have my daughter on holidays and every second weekend. I *actually* get to see her twice a year if I am lucky. Couldn't give a rats arse now. It simply costs too much to run back to court every two minutes complaining about how my evil witch of an ex does not abide by the agreement that was arranged through the courts (which she claimed legal aid and had the government cover court costs while I was paying $180/hour for a damn lawyer to read her crap letters about how hard life is when you have to go out a work for a living.. she never worked (never needed to) when we were together)

At some stage you just have to weigh up the economics of having an ex. The child has very little to do with it.

[inlinefour]

I now pay over $500-00 per week, joys of being young and stupid? Na, I just look forward to when he comes to live with us...

[babyB]

hmmm there are many views to this

i do agree that the IRD system sucks...
but here's a thought for you......
my baby's daddy is in heaven!
It seams IRD is unable to collect maintance from heaven, hence we dont get it.

what is more important fighting a loosing battle or the harmony for our children.....be thankful you have your children as they are thankful they have you

[Rhino]

My ex got a pretty damn good settlement when we split. Now I am *surposed* to have my daughter on holidays and every second weekend. I *actually* get to see her twice a year if I am lucky.

Shit Cowboyz that sounds so familiar. When I separated, I signed over the house and walked out with a couple of plastic rubbish bags containing my bits and pieces.

I also negotiated a separation agreement to pay her mortgage for the next three years (as she was going to Teachers College as a trainee teacher) and was guaranteed "reasonable access" to my children.

For the first 5 years I never saw my kids. One time I only learned that "we will be going away" 24 hours before I was about to ride down to Christchurch.

The worst part was the fact that I notified IRD the day that we separated and gave them all my contact details. 3 months later they rang me on a Friday afternoon and said "we want $3,000 by Monday." I told them to go whistle and we sorted out a deal that ended up with me paying about 70% of my salary to the pricks.

[Winston001]

Just a few points.

IRD don't set the formula or the rates of Child Support - Cabinet does by regulation.

Many fathers don't bother to see their kids at all. I'm not talking about those decent guys who give up because their ex makes it too hard - they have my sympathy. But I often have contact with women stressed out because the dad didn't turn up (again) for his access weekend and the 6yr old kid wants mum to explain why.

It takes two people to have a child. They are both responsible for it until the child is independant. When a man or women refuses to pay child support, guess who picks up the tab - you and me, the taxpayer. Either through paying a benefit or through Family Support.

So it is hard to have much sympathy for any parent who expects the rest of the nation and the other parent to pick up the whole tab.

The trouble is that Child Support is a one-size-fits-all system. It has to be - otherwise the bureacuracy to deal with every individual case and every change of circumstances would become an entirely new government department. Like we need that. So it is clumsy and at times unfair.

The best answer would be for people not to have unplanned children and be in a committed relationship when they do. This is of supreme importance for the child who tends to get overlooked in these arguments.

[Skyryder]

FUCKEN ARSEHOLES IRD MOTHER FUCKERS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i know have to pay the creature from the deep the suckulous ugly munt of a woman a figure which is even more fucken ridiculous.

IM SO FUCKEN ANGRY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

just got my next years notice


CUNTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just remember Quasi it won't last forever. Nothing does. Shit smells the worst when it is the freshest. No smell when it has rotted and decayed. Sleep on it ol' son. Not the shit............... the thought.

Skyryder

[Timber020]

I have seen many different sides of this debate. Fathers getting custody by getting all there family and friends to lie about the mother and getting full custody. Kids spend the rest of their childhood getting the crap kicked out of them and worked like dogs.

The system is always going to be unjust in some way, but no ones starving here, and we seem to be able to spend alot of money on bikes all the same.

Suck it up, your a man, and you have kids, how can it be a suprise that its costing you more than your comfortable with?

[Skyryder]

I have seen many different sides of this debate. Fathers getting custody by getting all there family and friends to lie about the mother and getting full custody. Kids spend the rest of their childhood getting the crap kicked out of them and worked like dogs.

The system is always going to be unjust in some way, but no ones starving here, and we seem to be able to spend alot of money on bikes all the same.

Suck it up, your a man, and you have kids, how can it be a suprise that its costing you more than your comfortable with?

I've seen a father so crippled financly by his lying wife that he killed himself. Lost his kids. Lost his own family who sided with his misses. It wasn't until the funeril when his wife did not bother to show up or even send the family any sympathy that they suddenly realised what a bitch she was.

I can 'sock it' to any one who rides dangerously and think nothing of it but Quai's post highlighted that he is pretty pissed off. Good reason or not. I don't know. But as a fellow KB biker he has my unqualified support.

Skyryder

[SPman]

Ive seen a guy who came home to find his wife in bed with a neighbour. 2 kids. Gave the wife the 8 acre block and basically . everything.Thought he had signed an agreeement saying thiat was it! Walked away with his last pay cheque. Denied access to his kids...[not legally - he'd turn up to see/pick them up - oh, they're away for the weekend]. Formed a new relationship, had twins, his ex came back fro Oz - so poor she could only fly 5 horses over....dumped the boyfriend and married a local vet! Then hit this guy with a court case for $235,000 for what she considered was back maintenance! Almost totally fucked his (8yr) relationship! Still denied access to his kids! When the younger kid went of the rails, he got a filthy letter saying it was all his fault!
Court case cost him $40,000, she arrived in a BMW dripping with diamonds...sort off fucked her, "poor me" case a bit, but it still cost him big time! With the stresses involved, his current relationship is almost fucked...and the courts didnt give a fuck. He was the bogey man for leaving his kids......pay pay pay....and to hell with his newer family!

The trouble is that Child Support is a one-size-fits-all system. It has to be - otherwise the bureacuracy to deal with every individual case and every change of circumstances would become an entirely new government department. Like we need that. So it is clumsy and at times unfair.

Thats the trouble with this country - a "one size fits all" mentality! It has never worked in the past, nor will it in the future. So - rather fuck up lives all over the country for expediency, than provide a government that cares for its constituent parts!! Seems to be the size of it! As long as they expect no respect, co operation or sympathy with an active section working against it, fine! But they say they're working in the interests of society!
The older I get, rather than become conservative, I subscribe more to Ixions professed philosophy.
Up against the wall, you MoFo's!

[Cookie]

I quite like the idea of a small apartment in town, close to work. The kids can visit when they like and I can live in peace.

Trouble is, it's too bloody expensive. Child support is a big part of the bill but the amount does not seem out of whack with reality to me (if I take into account the cost of housing in Auckland).

So I stay and I stay but I am lucky I can. Things are not quite so f*cked that I can't live here anymore (yet).

It is a one-size fits all system and so there are some pretty perverse and hurtful situations that can occur. I feel sorry for those guys caught in bad situations. I in my case, I think "they are MY kids" and they are entitled to benefit from a proportion of my personal earnings while they are dependents so I will be paying without complaint when my time comes.

[SARGE]

tried custody, Im a man....... screwed by default

quasi..

demand receipts as to where the $$ is going... it is your right to make sure she is spending that on the kid.. ( including power bill, water.. etc)
yes, its a bitch but your kid has to come first.. before work, your bikes, social life, ...before anything

second.. you are NOT screwed by default... i have custody of my son from the States..itcost me quite a bit to get it but it is worth every dollar..i would have paid 10x more if i needed to..

[Quasievil]

quasi..

demand receipts as to where the $$ is going... it is your right to make sure she is spending that on the kid.. ( including power bill, water.. etc)
yes, its a bitch but your kid has to come first.. before work, your bikes, social life, ...before anything

second.. you are NOT screwed by default... i have custody of my son from the States..itcost me quite a bit to get it but it is worth every dollar..i would have paid 10x more if i needed to..

Really ? I think I would be told where to go, who would back me up on that one ? is it actualy the law ?

[SARGE]

Really ? I think I would be told where to go, who would back me up on that one ? is it actualy the law ?

dont know if its law here .. but im sure a good lawyer could make it happen.. it ism, after all.. looking after the best interests of the child ... making sure the breeder isnt blowing a few hundy at the casino...

[NC]

Yeah, my bitch of a mother blackmailed my dad into giving her everything. So he did. And still had to pay child support payments plus some of the morgage mum still managed to have him by the nuts getting every cent she could out of him. She's an evil woman. The kids always choose their side in the end.