Fuckin child support

[Grahameeboy]

Yes but children need their fathers to and boys especially so

Agree although Daughters need their Fathers as much as Boys so....Daddy's girl and all that

[Grahameeboy]

Darn Im so lucky I've got shared custody of my kids.

Most important in my mind..............

[Free to Ride]

after reading how much you guys pay!! I walked out with 3 kids, we didnt even have a chair to sit on or plates to eat off - my ex pays $58 month child support and wont pay anything else. How do you explain to your kid that you cant pay school fees so they cant get the school mag etc - anyway all you guys that have worked it out good one, and for the guys that are getting screwed - it does suck aye.

[Grahameeboy]

after reading how much you guys pay!! I walked out with 3 kids, we didnt even have a chair to sit on or plates to eat off - my ex pays $58 month child support and wont pay anything else. How do you explain to your kid that you cant pay school fees so they cant get the school mag etc - anyway all you guys that have worked it out good one, and for the guys that are getting screwed - it does suck aye.

True but you have your kids mate........tell them the truth....if they have not already worked it out.......have you tried the Family Court?

[riffer]

Don't get me started on family court Grahameboy ...

They've got that one sewn up well.

I could tell you all about how I got screwed by Judge M**s, who looked at an equal shared custody agreement I'd paid thousands for, and declared "This agreement is all very well Mr ********, but it's obviously not working for the mother of the children, so let's just set that aside, all right?"

... but as it's illegal to talk about family court I won't - suffice to say I'd rather cut off my dick than go back to that man-hating shithole.

[Grahameeboy]

Don't get me started on family court Grahameboy ...

They've got that one sewn up well.

I could tell you all about how I got screwed by Judge M**s, who looked at an equal shared custody agreement I'd paid thousands for, and declared "This agreement is all very well Mr ********, but it's obviously not working for the mother of the children, so let's just set that aside, all right?"

... but as it's illegal to talk about family court I won't - suffice to say I'd rather cut off my dick than go back to that man-hating shithole.

Real sorry to hear matey..........we have an informal agreement but I have kept a diary since June to cover any future problems because Kate just does things without telling me to suit her.......my situation is probably different as Natalie is disabled and I have had chats to FC and they have actually told me to apply for a hearing......but right now I need to win the war of keeping the house so this battle can wait.
I will add ya to my buddy list if you want to call me for a rant about things.

[Psalm42]

Don't get me started on family court Grahameboy ...

They've got that one sewn up well.

I could tell you all about how I got screwed by Judge M**s, who looked at an equal shared custody agreement I'd paid thousands for, and declared "This agreement is all very well Mr ********, but it's obviously not working for the mother of the children, so let's just set that aside, all right?"

If what you have said here is exactly what the judge said, he was asking your premission to set it aside. All right? Being a question. A judge needs your co-opertation to be involved in a private agreement. They always at some point make it a question. Hope you didnt pay your lawyer to much.

Sorry to point it out too late for you, I would sugest the thing to have said was that you accept it is not working for the mother, and therefore so as not to cause you any damage you will accept full custody.

[Psalm42]

In my case, my Wife who had an affair told me to move out....I said "No".....she threatened me with a 'Seperation Order'...there was no abuse.....6 weeks sleeping on the sofa and she moved out..........I normally don't stand up for myself but for my Daughter's sake I did and it will be worth it........Wife got a surprise....I get equal shared custody of Natalie who is disabled so despite being treated like an invisible Father, I reckon I am doing alright....will end up keeping house and keeping my relationship with Natalie.

Not too many complaints my end....gotta make the most I say.

Good on ya for standing your ground. To many guys think it the right thing to do to walk away. As for keeping the house, if I recall correctly you apply for occupancy, provide proof you can not afford to rebuy with your share, get an order that the house does not sell till your Daughter is 16. Providing the necesities of life for you daughter should be more important to the court than anything else.

Law may have changed by now. So I may be wrong on that.

[Winston001]

Don't get me started on family court Grahameboy ...

They've got that one sewn up well.

I could tell you all about how I got screwed by Judge M**s, who looked at an equal shared custody agreement I'd paid thousands for, and declared "This agreement is all very well Mr ********, but it's obviously not working for the mother of the children, so let's just set that aside, all right?"

... but as it's illegal to talk about family court I won't - suffice to say I'd rather cut off my dick than go back to that man-hating shithole.

Thats tough and your anger is understandable. Unfortunately the Judge isn't to blame or the Family Court. Any custody (now called "Day to Day Care") agreement or Court Order can be varied or set aside at any time.

This is because family circumstances change from time to time. It isn't in children's interests to set custody in concrete when they are 5 years old. The custodial parent might get sick, want to move to another country, or move in with the Mongrel Mob. So you'd want the right to change the terms to protect the child.

And the child is what the system is all about. Too many parents see the Family Court as a place to have a go at each other and get revenge. They don't realise that the child is the most important person so far as the Judge is concerned.

But Judges are human too. They get lied to by parents and women are much better than guys at manipulation. So injustices sometimes happen.

[Grahameeboy]

Good on ya for standing your ground. To many guys think it the right thing to do to walk away. As for keeping the house, if I recall correctly you apply for occupancy, provide proof you can not afford to rebuy with your share, get an order that the house does not sell till your Daughter is 16. Providing the necesities of life for you daughter should be more important to the court than anything else.

Law may have changed by now. So I may be wrong on that.

I am lucky cause my folks are gonna help me keep house.....problem with the 16 thing is that Natalie requires full time care and will do most of her life...she cannot walk and when she is too heavy to lift she cannot transfer from wheelchair to toilet etc so she will always have to live with a carer and I need the house, currently worth $750,000 as an asset cause I earn a lot less than my Wife plus Devonport is ideal for Nats accessibility around town and getting to Auckland......but your suggestion is still current and I could use this to my advantage cause Wife is arguing about GBP100,000 in UK and this money is my key to keeping house....she wants to go to Court when to me Natalie's care by both of us is key......

I always look at postives and I know that things will get sorted.....my diary will help.

[Winston001]

I am lucky cause my folks are gonna help me keep house.....problem with the 16 thing is that Natalie requires full time care and will do most of her life...she cannot walk and when she is too heavy to lift she cannot transfer from wheelchair to toilet etc so she will always have to live with a carer and I need the house, currently worth $750,000 as an asset cause I earn a lot less than my Wife plus Devonport is ideal for Nats accessibility around town and getting to Auckland......but your suggestion is still current and I could use this to my advantage cause Wife is arguing about GBP100,000 in UK and this money is my key to keeping house....she wants to go to Court when to me Natalie's care by both of us is key......

I always look at postives and I know that things will get sorted.....my diary will help.

Keeping a diary is good. Just be careful not to be too precise or you'll look obsessive.

Relationship property law presumes equal sharing and a fresh start so a Court Order to sell a house is always on the cards. The theory is that it lets each person get on with their own lives.

However the law also allows the house to be occupied by one party for such period as may be necessary to provide a home for the children. So there is no sale in the meantime.

Every situation is different but it sounds like you have a good argument Graham for the house not to be sold. This is particularly true if your wife has alternative accomodation already. Your daughters needs are the most important matter.

[DMNTD:Me]

...the money a guy pays doesn't go to the kids or the mother of the kids---it goes to the f$$## goverment..

It's pretty easy to sort out an agreement between the two parents concerned which means IRD and WINZ have nothing to do with it...pretty much.
I know this having 5 kids and only the one living fulltime with me.

[Fatjim]

I am lucky cause my folks are gonna help me keep house.....problem with the 16 thing is that Natalie requires full time care and will do most of her life...she cannot walk and when she is too heavy to lift she cannot transfer from wheelchair to toilet etc so she will always have to live with a carer and I need the house, currently worth $750,000 as an asset cause I earn a lot less than my Wife plus Devonport is ideal for Nats accessibility around town and getting to Auckland......but your suggestion is still current and I could use this to my advantage cause Wife is arguing about GBP100,000 in UK and this money is my key to keeping house....she wants to go to Court when to me Natalie's care by both of us is key......

I always look at postives and I know that things will get sorted.....my diary will help.

I don't know how well you get on with your ex and whether she wants custody, but if she doesn't then it could be used as a threat, especially as it appears she may be out of the country.

Is she in the UK?, do custody/child support laws apply to her? Is she still a tax resident? Can you tell her to go F!@K herself?

[enigma51]

A quick question just to see if im getting all this (not that it will help me in anyway as we cant have children) but basically if you and ex dont see eye to eye which is about ooooo 99% of the time i mean thats why you got divorced then you pay money to the tax man thats pay it too your ex. Know do they pay the full amount or just some of it.

Cause if they pay only a part of it to her then it means that only reason she is not agreeing to a private deal is because she is bitter and whan too fuck you over!

[NordieBoy]

Know do they pay the full amount or just some of it.

They pay the full amount if the caregiver is working.
Part amount if on a benefit.