Turning down a shag.

[Biff]

I went to a lap-dancing/strip joint with some guys I work with last night. There were some beautiful lovely ladies showing their bits, jiggling about and getting friendly with poles. Unfortunately all of the ladies went the ‘full-monty’, taking their knickers off as well. I for one would rather not to see what they had for breakfast.

Anyhooo. Pissed, I leave early-ish (1am?) and head back to my room, kinda missing Mrs Biff being that I was in the mood for a 'cuddle'. As I get into the a lift, a really cute/drunk, chick joins me. She smelt sexy. As the doors closed she turns, smiles at me, then asks me where I’ve been. I'm honest. She likes the idea of doing what those girls do for a living. She's even considering giving it a go herself.

"Are you lonely tonight?” she asks. Me thinking, elevator 'ho'. You find them all over the world, following single guys into hotel lifts at night, vying for business.

"Not really", I say.
"Shame", because I'd love to f*ck you", she replies.
"I'm not a prostitute", she continues, "here's my room key"

It took me all of 2 seconds to bring myself to say, "sorry - I'm married". Shit it was hard.

"Ohhhh - that's nice. She's lucky", says cute, sexy, short denim skirt n tight short t-shirt clad babe.

Gutted? Nah.

BS? Nah.

Once in a lifetime opportunity? Possibly.

Ego – off the fucking scale.



Sorry - I had to brag to someone.

[Shaun]

I went to a lap-dancing/strip joint with some guys I work with last night. There were some beautiful lovely ladies showing their bits, jiggling about and getting friendly with poles. Unfortunately all of the ladies went the ‘full-monty’, taking their knickers off as well. I for one would rather not to see what they had for breakfast.

Anyhooo. Pissed, I leave early-ish (1am?) and head back to my room, kinda missing Mrs Biff being that I was in the mood for a 'cuddle'. As I get into the a lift, a really cute/drunk, chick joins me. She smelt sexy. As the doors closed she turns, smiles at me, then asks me where I’ve been. I'm honest. She likes the idea of doing what those girls do for a living. She's even considering giving it a go herself.

"Are you lonely tonight?” she asks. Me thinking, elevator 'ho'. You find them all over the world, following single guys into hotel lifts at night, vying for business.

"Not really", I say.
"Shame", because I'd love to f*ck you", she replies.
"I'm not a prostitute", she continues, "here's my room key"

It took me all of 2 seconds to bring myself to say, "sorry - I'm married". Shit it was hard.

"Ohhhh - that's nice. She's lucky", says cute, sexy, short denim skirt n tight short t-shirt clad babe.

Gutted? Nah.

BS? Nah.

Once in a lifetime opportunity? Possibly.

Ego – off the fucking scale.



Sorry - I had to brag to someone.

Mrs Biff would be very proud of ya mate

[Calo]

I'm pretty sure I've seen that movie too, mate.

[oldrider]

Enjoy it while you can, your mind can't even process that shit when you get post viagra depression.
Reality takes over!

[Blackbird]

A dose of the clap is nothing to applaud

[Skyryder]

Turned it down myself on the odd occasion. Gets easier the second and third time etc. Self control's not easy but my god you can always have shave the next morning without the risk of cutting yourself. Greenie for that Biff

Skyryder

[Sparky Bills]

Im sure you feel good about yourself now. You were strong and could even say that the male came out on top in the end!

Stay strong! AND MARRIED!! haha

[Winston001]

Good man. Life is complicated enough without syphilis, pregnancy, child support, guilt, divorce............. And then there is eternal damnation.

[cowpoos]

you get her number for me lad?

[Motu]

I'd never turn down an offer like that....only because I know in 476 years I'd never get an offer like that.Some people are just repulsive to all levels of humanity.

[Lazy7]

I would have fucked her, then come on here and told everybody i didn't. Thats a win win situation right there.

[onearmedbandit]

Well done Biff, now you've got the evidence on-line that you honestly didn't do anything wrong and you have no idea how this girl you turned down got your home phone number. Thinking ahead as usual Biff.

[Finn]

$100 says Biff abused himself silly when he got to his room. So technically he was unfaithful.

[onearmedbandit]

That's a bet I'm not willing to take.....

[madboy]

Yep, the alibi is already set in place, aye biff?! How you came home from that business trip with an STD is beyond your comprehension considering you only met her in the lift.

Being a former pizza delivery boy, the odd opportunity has arisen. The first and most memorable has always stuck with me. I turned down the wet dream of my lifetime. Boy did I regret making those two hot drunk slappers pay $17.95 for their pizza at 2am - particular when the woman I was being faithful to was actually not being faithful to me at the time! [Not insinuating that Mrs Biff is eating off a different menu] I vowed never to make a similar mistake again.