Dear Mom

[texmo]

A mother passing by her daughter's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then she saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, "Mom." With the worst premonition, she opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

Dear Mom,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you.

I had to elope with my new boyfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you. I've been finding real passion with John and he is so nice - even with all his piercings, tattoos, beard, and his motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion mom, I'm pregnant and John said that we will be very happy. He already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. He wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too.

John taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and trading it with his friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so John can get better; he sure deserves it!! Don't worry Mom, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Some day I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.

Your daughter, Judith

PS : Mom, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that's in my desk drawer. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home.




I dont think this is a repost and couldnt find it when i searched

[Fishy]

Nice one there Texmo.

[bugjuice]

lol..
so if we are in a little trouble with our folks, we tell them something really really really bad, then the little bad thing is ok in retrospect? Must try that with the gf too..

[texmo]

lol..
so if we are in a little trouble with our folks, we tell them something really really really bad, then the little bad thing is ok in retrospect? Must try that with the gf too..

start the conversation off with genital herpes

[bugjuice]

yeah, so I got crabs, and I got stabbed with a needle so I might have aids, and I know how much we've been doing it lately, and I'm fairly sure you've got all this too...

not really, but I've been sleeping with this chick on the side, but don't worry, she's clean and keen..

so what's for dinner? S&BJ?

[Colapop]

I'm John....

[Nicksta]

ROFL.... dont try that with me boys...

[Motu]

I hope one of my kids doesn't try that on their ''MUM'',addressing her as ''Mom'' is a sure clue they have ripped it from the internet without even bothering to do a basic editing job.

[Sniper]

That was damn good

[texmo]

I hope one of my kids doesn't try that on their ''MUM'',addressing her as ''Mom'' is a sure clue they have ripped it from the internet without even bothering to do a basic editing job.

So you want me to edit my jokes now? I call my mom "mam" thats how we do it around these parts.

[Patrick]

So you want me to edit my jokes now? I call my mom "mam" thats how we do it around these parts.

I thought that was "Aunty Ma..." in those parts...

[texmo]

I thought that was "Aunty Ma..." in those parts...

Nah she aint my aunty shes my grandma.

[Storm]

Thats a damn fine idea that one, have to make sure when I have kids they nevver see anything like that

[Beemer]

You use the same psychology if you want a kitten - first you ask for a horse, knowing you won't get one. Keep asking for smaller animals - a pony, then a dog, etc. until finally the parents give up in exasperation and say "okay, you can have a kitten, but only a small one!"

My mother was having a go at me once and I made the fatal mistake of turning around and saying "well, would you prefer me to be like (middle sister) and get pregant at 16?" I can still remember how much that slap across the face hurt!