A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she lay
her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to
the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly
and said, "I'm so sorry, your pet has passed away." The distressed owner
wailed, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I'm sure. The duck is dead," he replied.
"How can you be so sure", she protested. "I mean, you haven't done any
testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."
The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room.
He returned a few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the
duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hindlegs, put
his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to
bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The
vet patted the dog and took it out and returned a few moments later with
a beautiful cat. The cat jumped upon the table and also sniffed the bird
from its beak to its tail and back again. The cat sat back on its
haunches, shook its head, meowed softly, jumped down and strolled out of
the room.
The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this
is most definitely, 100% certifiabley, a dead duck." Then the vet turned
to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he
handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill.
"$150!" she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead?!!".
The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it would have
been $20. But what with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it all adds
up.
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