No seriously.
So there I was walking the streets of Singapore - killing time until my flight home, and I suddenly came over all dizzy, So I quickly sit down on a nearby wall, my heart feeling all ‘fluttery’. I'd felt like this for a couple of days, on and off, while in Delhi. I put it down to heat(40 degrees +)/stress or somefink. Anyhoo - I get myself together and decided to make my way back to the airport. I go through immigration, head up the sexcalator, and come over all dizzy again, so I try and crouch down coz I just knew I was on my way out, somewhere, and didn't fancy an uncontrolled face plant into the floor. The next thing I remember is lying on a bed in some sort of medical centre, all wired up to a machine that's supposed to go, "bing", but was actually going, "bing.......bing,bing,bing....bing...bingbing..".
"Don't worry sir, an ambulance is on its way", says a Dr (I think).
$250 later (I shit you not, I had to pay for the private ambo in advance!), and I'm taken to the intensive care unit of the local hospitable. I was drifting in and out of consciousness at this point but vaguely recall a SWAT team of medics at the yocal ICU pumping me with drugs. Surreal as hell twas.
My ticker was in spasm (AF for you medicy types) apparently, and it wouldn't calm down. So some knock out juice was injected into a contraption on my hand, then just before I entered the land of nod I'm hit with an electric shock across my chest.
Farrrrrrqqqq!!
I woke up sometime later all wired up, and out of my skull on something, and the medic team telling me I'm ok, I'm out of danger, but that I nearly died. Now that's a line I bet few of us have had said to us by hemedicaly type persona.
I'm home now. I've told the missis the whole story, without editing out the scary bits. And I've got a shit loads of pills to keep me going.
Apparently I've got a heart virus. Fingers crossed the drugs work. They appear to be anyway. I'm tired, but apart from that all's good. Local hostiple (as pronounced by Molly aged 4) says I'm ok to be home.
Despite the fact I keep telling my missis that I could die at any time, she still wont allow a man his last request, a three some with my wife, myself and Charlie from High 5.
It’s a funny ole world.

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