Are YOU on drugs?

[WRT]

Bear walks into a bar in Billings, Montana and sits down. He bangs on the bar with his paw and demands a beer. The bartender approaches and says, "We don't serve beer to bears in bars in Billings."

The bear, becoming angry, demands again that he be served a beer. The bartender tells him again, more forcefully, "We don't serve beer to belligerent bears in bars in Billings."

The bear, very angry now, says, "If you don't serve me a beer, I'm going to eat that lady sitting at the end of the bar." The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings"

The bear goes to the end of the bar, and, as promised, eats the woman.

He comes back to his seat and again demands a beer. The bartender states, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings who are on drugs."

The bear says, "I'm NOT on drugs."

The bartender says, "You are now. That was a barbitchyouate."

[scumdog]

Haha! I'm sure I met that barbitch when I was in Billings in October last year, that'll teach her.

[Fishy]

hahaha nice one mate.

[Swoop]

Not bad!
Black text on black background... sexxxyyy!

[WRT]

Bah, your in the wrong universe there mate . . .

Did a copy and paste, so presumably from your post its copied over the font colour too. Will edit the original message.

Edit: Edit done. The other one, not this one. Altho, thats done too now. Well, it would be if I stopped typing. Which I will do. Now. Ah shit, there I go again . . .

[Qkkid]

good one

[Finn]

Reminds me of the one about the horse who walks into a pub and sits down at the bar. The bartender says "What'll it be?" to which the horse replies, "Scotch on the rocks". The bartender serves the horse the drink, looks at him and asks "Why such a long face?"

Giddey up!

[WRT]

A seal walked into a bar in Anchorage, the barman asks "what'll it be?" to which the seal replies "I'll have a canadian club on the rocks".

[Finn]

A maori accidently walked into a gay bar and this chap approached him and wispered something in his ear. The maori launched at him and bet the living snot outta the guy until he was laying unconcious on the ground. The bar man asked the maori, "What did he say?" to which the maori replied "Something about a job"

[Blairos]

Ha ha ha ha! - too much for a Friday I feel...

[Swoop]

An eskimo walks into a bar and sees a penguin standing behind the bar, cleaning a glass.
Eskimo says "so, did the polar bear sell the place?"

[SPman]

A guy walks into a bar in Arkansas and orders a white wine. Everybody sitting around the bar looks up, expecting to see some pitiful yankee queer. The bartender looks up and says, "You ain't from around here, are ya??? Where ya from, boy?"The guy says, "I'm from Iowa."The bartender asks, "What the heck you do in Iowa?"The guy responds, "I'm a taxidermist."The bartender asks,"A taxidermist? Now just what the heck is a taxidermist?"The guy says nervously, "I stuff animals." The bartender grins and shouts out to the whole bar,"It's okay boys, he's one of us!"

[SPman]

An elderly couple made a deal that whoever died first would somehow come back to inform the other of the afterlife.

Their biggest fear being that there really was no heaven. After a long life,the husband was the first to go, and true to his word, a few weeks later as his wife sat and watched TV, she heard a ghostly voice saying,
"Maude....Maude...."
"Is that you, John?" she asked as she looked in vain around the room.
The voice responded, "Yes Maude, I've come back just like we agreed"
"Whats it like, John?" Maude asked
John said, "Well, I get up in the morning and have sex,
then I have breakfast, and after that more sex,
I bathe in the sun for a while and then I have sex twice,
I have lunch, then have sex pretty much all afternoon,
After dinner, I have sex until late at night and the next day it starts all over again"

"Oh, John" Maude said, "then surely you must be in heaven!"
"Not exactly" John said, "I'm a rabbit somewhere near Twizel!"

[SPman]

One fine day Mr Rabbit goes running 'round the forest, he sees a giraffe rollin a big fat juicy joint. "Giraffe, giraffe! Why do you smoke dat shit? Come running with me & get fit instead!" so the giraffe stops rolling & runs with the rabbit. They come across an elephant doing big fat lines of coke on a mirror, The rabbit says" elephant, elephant why do you do drugs? Come run with us and get fit!" So the elephant stops & goes running with the 2. Then they come across the lion preparing a syringe of smack..."lion lion" crys the rabbit "why do you do drugs? Come running with us instead!" The lion with a mighty roar squashes the little rabbit to smithereens. "NO!" the giraffe & elephant cry "why did you do that?, all he was trying to do was help you out!!" to which the lion replies "Fuckin rabbit always makes me run around this wanky forest when hes done a few pills!!"