Self-inflicted death

[Coyote]

You are not worth replying to!!!

Yet you just did

I know what he's getting at. Suicide is very selfish, you're taking your own life from everyone else. You're also tearing up a lot of other people's emotions. But I don't think you should be so nasty towards those who have committed suicide. There's lives must've been real shit and they must've suffered a lot to end it all.

[Mrs Busa Pete]

Yet you just did

I know what he's getting at. Suicide is very selfish, you're taking your own life from everyone else. You're also tearing up a lot of other peoples emotions. But I don't think you should be so nasty towards those who have committed suicide. There's lives must've been real shit and they must've suffered a lot to end it all.

alarumba you are taking your life from everyone else but it is people like that twat that make there lives shit to start with.I have members of my family with that attude and they help drive me to my attempt and the one thing i have learnt is to not let people like him into my life we are better off with out them

[Coyote]

alarumba you are taking your life from everyone else but it is people like that twat that make there lives shit to start with.I have members of my family with that attude and they help drive me to my attempt and the one thing i have learnt is to not let people like him into my life we are better off with out them

I know what you mean. During the process of hinting to my friends that I was really depressed and really wanted to die, they'd just laugh at me and say 'why don't you just kill yourself already?'

As much as I wanted them to suffer thinking 'shit, why did I say that, it's my fault' after I put a gun to my head in english class in front of everyone, I wised up and thought it was best not to

[jazbug5]

This is a great thread; I've been watching for the last couple of days, at a loss to know what to add. There have been some very brave posts here: most people show some real understanding, too. Unfortunately there are also some tossers out there who just have to come the big bloody macho rather than just stay quiet and learn.
I would just like to say that although it is often said that it is 'the ultimate selfish act', and although this is in some ways true, that is an issue of 'perspective' (as Kickingzebra so eloquently put it), as is the illness of depression. My father is the least selfish person I know, and yet he came extremely close to ending his life. He has Bipolar disorder, or manic depression, or whatever they're calling it this week. He felt so worthless that he genuinely felt he was ruining our lives- he thought we would be better off without him. He couldn't imagine that anyone would really care in the long term (since he was worthless) and he was sure my mum would find someone better that would be a better father to us. I am so glad he was stopped and taken to hospital.
Since then, he has been able to manage his illness far better and went on to help other people through Samaritans, saving at least two people's lives (by finding out where they were and rushing over in the middle of the night to break in). He has also been there for me when I was in a similar state.
Depression has been likened to many things; I sometimes see it as a tunnel where you can't see any light. But there is a way out, even if you can't see it straight away. The trick is to keep breathing, even if you can't quite bring yourself to stumble forward right away.
Right. Enough from me, I think..! Cheers all.

[Mrs Busa Pete]

I know what you mean. During the process of hinting to my friends that I was really depressed and really wanted to die, they'd just laugh at me and say 'why don't you just kill yourself already?'

As much as I wanted them to suffer thinking 'shit, why did I say that, it's my fault' after I put a gun to my head in english class in front of everyone, I wised up and thought it was best not to

Just so you know they were not friends and they never will be when they can come out with shit like that.

[Scorpygirl]

Yet you just did

.

Sorry I over-reacted. Just heard about a guy from Tauranga that took paraquat and died in Waikato Hospital. I think the hospital and media over reacted big time!!! This guy was going to die from major organ failure.

[RiderInBlack]

Like it has been said before, if you have not personally felt what it is like ta feel like that, ya will never really understand. Have seen too many worthwhile people die due to lack of understanding. I feel sorry for those who don't understand, even more for those who do not wish to.

[SPman]

Well I must say that I've thought about suicide since Meeckal killed himself. It stopped at the thought though. The thing stopping me is, I'm just too fucking scared. I couldn't bring myself to do it. I'm too scared of what I will be leaving behind. I know that a lot of people care about me and I couldn't bear(sp?) to leave them all behind.

The fact you are thinking about it and not doing means you are just fucking badly depressed!
Once your mind decides to do it - the fear evaporates - it becomes a relief and, unless something searingly relevant happens, you progress cheerfully on to your own demise - even look forward to it!
This was told to me by a mate who fucked up the first attempt and at that point was relieved and glad he hadnt killed himself.......18mths later, he succeeded!

[Wellyman]

Everyone here on this site (yes even the ones that fu*k me off now and again) I will miss if something was ta happen to them. Everyone of you make KB what it is, something that is way more than just a web site about bikes

Fucken well put RIB, Kiwibiker is just not about bikes, its about a family, a family of people with a passion and discussion about many diffrent other things.

Kiwibiker saved me from trying to kill myself during a low patch of my life when things were hard for me, thank you all my family.
Best Wishes,
Wellyman
(Dan)

[RiderInBlack]

The trick is to keep breathing, even if you can't quite bring yourself to stumble forward right away.

Yep, often have Doreen from "Finding Nemo" reminding me ta "Just keep swimming"

[hXc]

The fact you are thinking about it and not doing means you are just fucking depressed!

I never said I was anything more or less than that.


I was talking to my sister today -who has depression- and I told her about this thread. She said to me that Meeckal wouldn't want me to be angry at him or sad about what he did. He would want me to carry on with life and not get to the state that he was in. He did what he did because he didn't want his friends or family to see him get any worse.

[MadDuck]

Thanks Sudeep ...what an amazing thread.

I guess in my situation I felt the guilt for a long long time. My friend had a brain tumour which was operated on successfully so the medical profession told us! I offered my name up as a referee for him to get a gun licence. The police rang me and I said yeah hes an alright dude...cos he was. Ok a bit of a temper but .....little did I know the tumour was not completely gone and I kinda was responsible for him owning a firearm. Some Wellingtonians may remember.

Blame it on the tumour...blame it on the gun...blame it on the marriage split. The hardest thing is these people dont realise what effect they leave on the living. I offered him a safe haven...a bed...breakfast and somewhere to just chill out.

Its taken 4 years to realise that there was nothing I could have done to prevent this from happening.

I nearly fell into the same trap as my mum passed away a month after my friend. What doesnt hurt us makes us stronger.

[Motoracer]

I started reading the posts from the begining at 21:30 and it's now 23:44...

I read every single post made by everyone carefully, including the attached doco, posted by alarumba.

Like most people here, I don't know what more to add. All I can say is thank you for sharing your opinions and experiences with us. I know it takes a lot of guts to do that, and all of us here really appreciate your input! Not only that but you also have my respect for coming forward with your personal stories! It must not have been easy by any means...

Personally I have been through the ups and downs in life, like everyone else I guess. At times I have been depressed when times were hard but luckily I managed to come off it and be truely happy again. The whole of last year (2005) was pretty f*ckin messed up for me and at times I had wondered about it... I have to say though, I never really thought about going through suicide seriously. Too many people love and care about me and I could never do that to them... And I have a LOT to be damn greatfull for, as I know I am one of the luckiest people in the world!

There is just so much that I did not know and certain perspectives that I had never had about sucide previously. Like hXc, reading this thread pushes me further away from the idea of suicide even more than before. Not only that but, I feel as though I am better equiped with knowledge about suicide, to try and help people around me who are emotionally troubled and in-need of support.

BTW A lot of you have made some great contributions to this thread but I particularly like the statements made below, as far as helping people who suffer with depression goes.

I learnt that in dealing with people who have been serious about killing themselves, the only thing to do is to establish trust, and let them talk. We too easily solve peoples problems, when they don't neccesarily need to be solved, just shared, put into perspective. They aren't put into perspective by us saying, "well, look at what you have!" they are minimised by openly listening, not judging, and not telling, not fixing.

Thank you everyone!
Sudeep.

[slowpoke]

Well, there I was on nightshift out in the middle of the frikkin' Timor Sea feelin' a bit maudlin, too far from family, too far from beer, too far from gettin' outta here, too far from that sweeeeeet left hander up the road from home, when I stumbled across this thread. Faaaark, made me realise how lucky I am!!
Thanks for sharing people. I know a whole lot of KBers will slip right on by this lil' piece of reality, looking for a few laughs or relief from exactly the sort of pain that has been detailed here, but those that have dropped by I reckon will be glad they did.
Maybe a point that hasn't been made is that depression is not something you have any control over, it's not something you can just just volountarily snap out of, it's caused by an imbalance in brain biochemistry. For want of a better way of putting it your body is being drugged from within. How can you fight that?
For those people who don't understand the illness (and subsequent consequences) but continue to pass judgement, a bit of "shush" would be appreciated until you are in a better position to comment. As the old saying goes: you don't learn anything with your mouth open.

[MSTRS:Me]

Kiwibiker saved me from trying to kill myself during a low patch of my life when things were hard for me, thank you all my family.

So often, we never know what effect the things we say have on others. A kind or supportive word may give someone cause to re-evaluate where they are in life, as easily as a harsh word. And we can never know whether the positive thing we said had a negative result, or vice versa. Those here that say "Harden up you softcock" may just have the opposite effect in that the recipient of that advice could view that as 'proof' of their 'uselessness' eh?
All that just goes to show that unless we are the suicidal one, we cannot know what is going through their minds. And if we are that person then we are not thinking with normal, rational processes (at least as we would 'normally' understand it).
On the other hand, we are not our brother's keeper.