Assault

**Colapop** · 26th April 2006, 19:19

I feel threatened every time WINJA!!!

**Edbear** · 26th April 2006, 19:29

Well, I've read through this entire thread before putting my 2c. I was hoping Kittie, that you would elaborate a bit and thanks for doing so. I have persoanl experience in all three sides of these types of issues, most serious was my daughter's first husband whom I refer to as the "Baby Faced Killer". One thing you said rings alarm bells for me and that is how you were puzzled at the apparent change in his behaviour, that he could go from being this sweet guy to losing his temper. My daughter's ex was a sweet, funny, gentle - seeming young man with an off-beat sense of humour that appealed. We were naive and failed to note the subtle warning signs. He was a secret alcoholic and into drugs, this latter sounds like your ex. HAs he been doing drugs? This certainly effects change. The situation as you describe it mirrors that of my daughter and we didn't know how serious it was until the day I came home to find my daughter hiding in my wardrobe begging us not to let him find her. That does something to a father, I can assure you. He also cried and promised never to do it again, which he always did. He attended an anger management program as ordered but I never let my daughter go back to him saying I wanted to see him change before I would ever consider it. What amazed me at the time was that not only had she gone back to him several times, but that she would have done so again, and even more amazing was the fact that my wife would have allowed her to. Men such as this have already conditioned their partners to believe that it was their fault for causing them to lose their temper. Perhaps you feel in at least some way responsible for the violence? To cut a long story short, there is much to learn about why and how domestic violence occurs. Guys, please don't criticise Kitty harshly if she says she'd give him another chance, I know what I'm talking about here. Kitty, there is no excuse for what you suffered and if he's done it he'll do it again. PLease think carefully about your history with him and look for telltale signs in hindsight. I agree with Spud and it was good to get his perspective, but I do believe from what you've said that he isn't going to change without being forced to face up to his actions. It takes a special kind of mean to hit a woman, I simply couldn't do it. My daughter's ex was also cruel to anilmals, a strong telltale sign. I'm not as big as BD but my wife stopped attacking me very early on as she hurt her hand when she hit me. Very few men are so weak that they can't either walk away or just hold the woman until she calms down. Yes, women do seem to know just the right buttons to push to make us angry, but as I said, it takes something else to hit her. My son has the scars from a frying pan courtesy of his wife, but even though he's built like a mini 'Arnold' he could never retaliate despite what I would call extreme provocation. I'm proud of him and I'm proud of my daughter, who is now remarried to a strong, gentle young man. It took her years to learn to trust again.

**WINJA** · 26th April 2006, 19:46

Originally Posted by Big Dave

Who said I was a half back?
6'7" in my bike boots, 113kg and yes - that's probably why I feel strongly about it.

I GOT A COUSIN KNICKNAMED "THE BUTCHER" WHOS NOT QUITE AS TALL AS YOU BUT FAR FAR HEAVIER , THIS MIGHT NOT SOUND LIKE A BIG DEAL BUT SHE IS A GIRL, DONT LOOK LIKE ONE THO

**Colapop** · 26th April 2006, 19:57

I got a niece who's 15. She's 6'5" and 115kg!

**babyB** · 26th April 2006, 20:36

totally agrees with Goblin =Yes go to the police and prosecute but dont ffs drop the charges! ......

xKittiex many years ago (in a worse situation) i put an ex in jail, what i didnt bank on was when he got out, he hunted me down. all ill say is in times of need the police, womans refuge and such were absolutely premo in time of need (i thank them) ...dont be afraid

as Goblin said=If you're going to press charges have the guts to follow through to the end!

couse some people just never change

**vixter** · 26th April 2006, 21:12

you should of hit him back next time get a steelrod handy leave ya mark behind.

**Scorpygirl** · 26th April 2006, 21:15

Originally Posted by Colapop

I got a niece who's 15. She's 6'5" and 115kg!

Colapop, can I borrow her as bodyguard.

(P/T) I am only 4ft 11 and weigh 53 kg!!!

**Rossi Gal** · 26th April 2006, 21:46

Originally Posted by WRT

I am one of a very few that still opens the door for my girlfriend, or pulls out her chair. I am lucky that I have found someone that appreciates these little things too, and recognises them. I have been out with women in the past that had no idea why I would always move to walk on the outside of them on the footpath. .

this is awesome to hear that there are still guys like you out there..iv only ever gone out with one guy like this, and its nice to see that people like this are still there somewhere..
this is the sort of guy you want lol.
and i would at least file a report even if you dont press charges. it is worth it. like what was said earlier..it will follow him and remind him what a d%$k he was. hope all goes well with you..

**Big Dave** · 26th April 2006, 21:52

Originally Posted by Scorpygirl

and weigh 53 kg!!!

I've lost more than that lately.

**cowpoos** · 26th April 2006, 22:15

Originally Posted by Edbear

He attended an anger management program as ordered

I'm sorry but those anger management corses are a crock of shit...I was ordered to do one years ago [and for the record it wasn't to do with hit a gal or nuthing...I actually got mugged by two maori guys and beat the shit otta one of them and got chaged with assult by the cops]...it was bullshit...there were dodgy guys in there who were just making a joke of the whole thing...and it was so pretentious...a total crock!!!! they mean shit all of anything!!

**Albino** · 26th April 2006, 22:56

This post is probably going to spell the end of my short career posting on KB. But, firstly let me categorically state that I do not approve of guys hitting girls.

I read an interesting but controversial article by some psych guy that went along he lines of; genetically guys are conditioned to use physical methods to resolve situations. Women are conditioned to use mental means.

It is posible to use "mental violence" , but this is not illegal. To put it another way, it is possible for a women to use mental tactics to infuriate, frustrate and annoy a guy and to a point that he has no means capable to defend hmself but to either run away or to resort to his primitive method of retaliation. (See amagdyla hijack - where the brain bypasses reasoned thought and jumps straight into fight mode).

I personally have had to physically run away from an ex because she was seriously messing with my head. I wasn't going to hit her, but to be honest I could see how some people could.

I'm sure this isn't the case here, and again, no excuse, but I feel I can't condemn this guy without knowing the full story. I bet he is feeling like complete shit at the moment.

Having said all that, regardless of the situation don't go back, it wil not work between you. If it happens again then I have no sympathy (not quite true, but you know what I mean).

In anticipation of the responses, it was nice knowing you for the short time that I have. Yes, even you CFWB.

Take care,
Albino.

**slowpoke** · 26th April 2006, 23:33

Originally Posted by Big Dave

Who said I was a half back?
6'7" in my bike boots, 113kg and yes - that's probably why I feel strongly about it.

Hence the Buell, no-one else makes two wheeled tractors......oh oh, I think I've got somewhere else to be....(patter of rapidly receding footsteps)

**Crasherfromwayback** · 26th April 2006, 23:37

Albino....that's quite funny.
I've no reason to lay into you about that.
It's a fair and reasonable reply to the topic, why would I?

**slowpoke** · 26th April 2006, 23:43

Originally Posted by Drunken Monkey

Indeed. You might not feel the same if you were a skinny little thing like White Trash

Hypotheticals winding you up? Real life example - There is a woman in my Martial Arts class on Monday nights. Wouldn't get very far as a sparring opponent if I didn't hit back, would I?

White Trash...skinny lil' thang...that's handy to know..........