Assault

[NotaGoth]

As someone previously posted about how you hardly see a guy who will open the door for a girl, or pull out a chair for her.
Well he "was" the type of guy who would do that. Along with other small things that showed he cared like walking on the outter edge of the footpath. The small things. The things most guys don't think about.
Yes there is a long history behind it all. And I don't need someone who doesn't know everything coming in here and posting what he thinks he knows.
The relationship was ended before this happened. The guy dug himself an extremely deep hole, and I can't say I'm completely innocent when it comes to the mess that was created which is why I can understand his frustration. And I can understand why he lashed out.
All in all that is no excuse. If he wants to blame everyone but himself that is fine.
But punching me ISN'T and never will be fine. "If" we stay in contact as friends which we are now trying to do it will take an extremely long time for me to forgive him for doing that. Thats if I ever will. Theres no excuses.
If you want to punch someone the least you can do is punch someone who can actually defend themselves.
Yes I've seen some chicks lay into guys and do some serious damage. In fqct my sister laid into her ex partner and did ALOT of damage. Had bottles smashed round her head, and I can tell you even I wouldn't attempt holding the girl back. But not all females are bullet proof. Same thing applies to the fact that not all guys are bullet proof either. Female assaults male. Male assaults female. Its all the same.

[Str8 Jacket]

If he hit you, then you should have nothing more to do with the guy. Period.

[Macktheknife]

SO some woman is beating you up you just sit there and take it? I dont see how people have such a strong aversion to hitting woman, no I dont go round beating up woman at all and never will, but if put in a situation where a "person" is threatening me or those I am protecting, note person not male or female, I will asses the situation and deal out the appropriate amount of force be it hands, baton or Sig Sauer. The sex of you opponent makes no difference.

Anyone taking advantage of someone weaker is in the wrong no matter their sex.

Finally a balanced POV, bling awarded.

[Squeak the Rat]

And people missed the part where those posts where deleted by a mod due to the fact they were not correct. Someone should have thought before he posted.

My apologies Kitti, that was slightly mis-worded. I was refering to the post earlier today by another kb'er (which is still up) about that persons experience. I believe this post showed great courage given the emotions involved in a subject like this.

My post was and is intended to add a balance to some of the opinions, because as I said I don't know the full story. Please don't mistake that for lack of concern about you. However by being able to disuss this like you have then I think you're showing that you will make the right choice here.

[NotaGoth]

My apologies Kitti, that was slightly mis-worded. I was refering to the post earlier today by another kb'er (which is still up) about that persons experience. I believe this post showed great courage given the emotions involved in a subject like this.

My post was and is intended to add a balance to some of the opinions, because as I said I don't know the full story. Please don't mistake that for lack of concern about you. However by being able to disuss this like you have then I think you're showing that you will make the right choice here.

Sorry bout that still a bit touchy that "this person" went and did that.
None the less I have tried taking how my ex is feeling.
Deep down I do feel I've made the right choice. To know wether I have or not will take some time to figure out.

Thankyou for your input.

[Karma]

What is this bird was giving you a slap? Would you react?

[kickingzebra]

You ping the bra... They hate that...

[babyface]

I wouldn't go to the cops either.... The word of mouth idea is much better.

Possibly write down exactly what happened so that if it happens again you have it in writing that it isn't the first time

ok i have been in this situation. long story short the only thing that will work is go to the cops especially if you have marks.
reason being for restraining orders are crap doesnt work for its your word against his rubbish.
you write down what happen and he does it again the cops just going to think you asked for it, for you didnt report it the first time.
the only way guys that hit and woman that hit too, is cops they will hate being inside for the guys in there hate woman bashers they learn real fast not to do it again.

[Aitch]

I go to a lot of domestic violence incidents in my job, and in every instance it's not the first time the man has hit the woman. I went to one recently where the woman was badly beaten, and found by her 6 year old daughter. This woman had 3 restraining orders against the man, and yet she invited him back yet again. She had no sympathy from her parents or the police, and there's a possibility she could end up in a wheelchair from the attack.
I've had women who have managed to get away from their violent men, be in woman's refuge, and still go and meet the man the next day, only to end up getting the bash again.

IF they hit you once, they will do it again. And if you take them back thinking they will change, you have given him a licence to do it again.

Men who bash women, are attracted to weaker women - ones they can control to make them feel like a big man. If you are in a situation with a man like this, the only way things are going to change is if you change yourself. Get away, take a good look at yourself, change your own attitude and the vibes you give off, and become strong. You'll be amazed at the different sort of people who want to be around you.

I know all this from bitter experience. Once I sorted out my own problems and got our of the 'poor me' syndrome, my life got better and better. I have some wonderful people around me now and can't remember a time when I've ever been so happy.

Brilliant! At last a reasoned and mature comment!
Kittie, forget the "word of mouth" drivel, act like a grown up and lay a complaint with the cops. If you rely on friends of your parents to assault him you're no better than he is!

[Colapop]

What is this bird was giving you a slap? Would you react?

Hey, no fair she's put a lot of hard work into that body and wouldn't waste the effort by breaking her hand. That chick from "Supersize She" on the other hand....

[NotaGoth]

Brilliant! At last a reasoned and mature comment!
Kittie, forget the "word of mouth" drivel, act like a grown up and lay a complaint with the cops. If you rely on friends of your parents to assault him you're no better than he is!

Not relying on that.

[Dafe]

I say "Move on......" Whats done is done, he's in your dark devious past now.

Besides, Why go to the cops? They'll be buisy helping Officer Mikey round up the criminals doing 110 on the motorways.

If this guy is that bad, You'd be better having nothing to do with him sooner than later. If he hangs around against your will, then persue the charge amongst other things.

[inlinefour]

What is this bird was giving you a slap? Would you react?

Depends on the type of slappin, never know. Might actually enjoy it...

[Scorpygirl]

Errr dunno ... I am only little. However a couple of times I have hit Rhino on the arms with my fists!!! I don't know why, just lost it cause things have got me down. I am so sorry. Not an excuse. I am just a violent woman. I hang my head in shame.

[Rhino]

Hi Kittie,

I have been following this thread and watching the offered info and your responses.

I know that you may consider me an "Old Fart" after rmeeting me and SG at Opononi, but I have managed to put some experience under my belt over the years. I would offer these comments;

• Walk away from the guy right now. Things will not get any better. If he has hit you once, HE WILL DO IT AGAIN despite all the promises.

• Report this to the Police. If he gets away with this now, what stops him the next time (when he is even more angry and injures/kills the victim?)

That's my $0.02. Hope that you are Ok.