Long read but I thought it was worth it anyway.........
>----- In the year 2005, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in
>Auckland, New Zealand, and said, "Once again, the earth has become wicked
>and over-populated and I see the end of all flesh before me.
>
>Build another Ark and save two of every living thing along with a few good
>humans."
>
>He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, "You have six months to build the Ark
>before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights".
>
>Noah was dubious about the project, because unending rain for 40 days
>and 40 nights is normal in New Zealand, but he knew he must bow to the will
>of
>the Lord.
>
>Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his revered
>quarter acre section....but no ark. "Noah", He roared, "I'm about to start
>the rain! Where is the Ark?"
>
>"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah. "But things have changed. I needed a
>building
>consent. I've been arguing with the inspector about the need for a
>sprinkler system. My neighbours claim that I've violated the zoning laws by
>building the Ark on my property and exceeding the height limitations. We
>had to go to Arbitration for
>a decision.
>
>Then the electricity companies demanded a bond be posted for the future
>costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the
>passage for the Ark's move to the sea. I argued that the sea would be
>coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it.
>
>Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local timber
>in order to save the Kiwi. I tried to convince the environmentalists that I
>needed the wood to save the birds. But no go!
>
>When I started gathering the animals, I got sued by an animal rights group.
>They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. As
>well,
>they argued the accommodation was too restrictive and it was cruel and
>inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.
>
>Maori have forbidden the project to continue unless taniwha are permitted
>on the Ark and indigenous tribes own half the Ark after I have designed and
>built it. I also have to agree to pay $150 Billion for depriving Maori of
>traditional lands by means of
>inundation, which they allege, is simply a case of "holy colonization".
>
>I am bogged down in further negotiations on multimillion payments for
>rights to sail the Ark on the seas of Aotearoa. Other Maori tribes have
>sued me because they allege the Ark is a Pakeha version of the Maori canoe
>and they have appealed to the Waitangi Tribunal to declare it tapu.
>
>Then the Environmental Court ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until
>they'd conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed flood.
>I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on
>how many Maori I'm supposed to hire for my building crew and the
>requirement for separate female toilets in case I hire a woman. Also, the
>trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I
>have to hire only Union workers with Ark building experience, but they are
>in short supply due to the Navy's frigates being built.
>
>OSH has decreed each employee must be equipped with a life jacket and
>personal life raft even though we are building on the mountain. When I
>pointed this out, they made me provide ice axes and climbing boots for each
>employee and their families.
>To make matters worse, the Inland Revenue seized all my assets, claiming
>I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species.
>
>At first the Labour government was in favour of my project because it
>created building jobs on
>our mountain. Then they were shocked by an opinion poll which revealed that
>99% of all New Zealanders opposed a devastating flood, and after an
>emergency cabinet meeting, Helen Clark announced that Labour had never
>favoured floods as a means of solving problems and was totally opposed to
>the project (unless
>future opinion polls revealed popular support for the Ark). She said "God
>should sit down and talk sensibly about the issues".
>
>So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least ten years for me to finish
>this Ark."
>
>Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched
>across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder and asked,
>"You mean, You're not going to destroy the world?".
>
>"No," said the Lord. "The New Zealand government beat me to it."
Reply With Quote
to long i give up 
Learn to ride - Basic Skills Handling Testing 
we have to put up with these days....
Originally Posted by Custard
me to
Bookmarks