My rights as a man.

[froggyfrenchman]

1: I have the right to remain silent in the face of any or all questions women ask me, no matter how innocent they may apper on the surface.

2: I acknoledge that anything I say can and will be used against me in a Court of female public opinion.

3: I have the right to make one phone call to my attorney or any other legal advisor I choose, who will advise me as to which questions can be safely answered and which are to be avoided if I am to survive this encounter with my reputation intact.

4: I recognise that as a member of the male sex, I can in no way - at any time, in any place or in any mental condition - keep up with the mixed signals, chat rate, tangled motivation, complex stratigies or deceptive word choices of used by the females of this species.

5: Finally, I accept the fact that if I am so foolish as to answer any questions after reading my own rights, warning and listening to my legal advisor; The odds are that I will say somthing that I will regret. In other words, from this moment foward, I proceed in this venture at my own hazard and risk.

[rfc85]

you have no rights as a man when dealing with the dark side-didn't you know that ??????

[froggyfrenchman]

I did know that, but reading this makes me feel that there is a glimmer of hope...

[bobsmith]

It's nice to see that there are still some people with hope... As for me, I've lost mine a long time ago............. They want equalty but they still have scholarship for women, clubs for women only, etc.... If there are still such things for men... Well the women's dominance activists (oh I mean women's right activists) will be all over it. Why I saw whole lot of parking outside the redhouse with parking for mothers and children (not fathers and children, or partents and children)

[Rossi Gal]

1: I have the right to remain silent in the face of any or all questions women ask me, no matter how innocent they may apper on the surface.

2: I acknoledge that anything I say can and will be used against me in a Court of female public opinion.

3: I have the right to make one phone call to my attorney or any other legal advisor I choose, who will advise me as to which questions can be safely answered and which are to be avoided if I am to survive this encounter with my reputation intact.

4: I recognise that as a member of the male sex, I can in no way - at any time, in any place or in any mental condition - keep up with the mixed signals, chat rate, tangled motivation, complex stratigies or deceptive word choices of used by the females of this species.

5: Finally, I accept the fact that if I am so foolish as to answer any questions after reading my own rights, warning and listening to my legal advisor; The odds are that I will say somthing that I will regret. In other words, from this moment foward, I proceed in this venture at my own hazard and risk.

The Rules
1. the FEMALE always makes THE RULES
2. THE RULES are subject to change at any time without prior notice
3. no MALE can possibly know all THE RULES
4. if the FEMALE suspects the MALE knows all THE RULES she must immediately change some or all THE RULES
5. the FEMALE is never wrong
6. if the FEMALE is wrong it is due to a misunderstanding which was the direct result of something the MALE said or did
7. the MALE must apologise for causing said misunderstanding
8. the MALE is always wrong
9. the MALE may be right if he agrees with the FEMALE unless she wants him to disagree
10. the FEMALE may change her mind at any time
11. the MALE may never change his mind without the express written consent of the FEMALE
12. the FEMALE has every right to be angry or upset at any time
13. the MALE must remain calm at all times unless the FEMALE wants him to be angry and/or upset
14. the FEMALE must under no circumstances let the MALE know whether she wants him to be angry and/or upset
15. the MALE is expected to mind read at all times


ps please dont shoot the messanger lmao

[paturoa]

If a man talks in the forest and his wife is not around to hear him is he still wrong?

[rfc85]

The Rules
1. the FEMALE always makes THE RULES
2. THE RULES are subject to change at any time without prior notice
3. no MALE can possibly know all THE RULES
4. if the FEMALE suspects the MALE knows all THE RULES she must immediately change some or all THE RULES
5. the FEMALE is never wrong
6. if the FEMALE is wrong it is due to a misunderstanding which was the direct result of something the MALE said or did
7. the MALE must apologise for causing said misunderstanding
8. the MALE is always wrong
9. the MALE may be right if he agrees with the FEMALE unless she wants him to disagree
10. the FEMALE may change her mind at any time
11. the MALE may never change his mind without the express written consent of the FEMALE
12. the FEMALE has every right to be angry or upset at any time
13. the MALE must remain calm at all times unless the FEMALE wants him to be angry and/or upset
14. the FEMALE must under no circumstances let the MALE know whether she wants him to be angry and/or upset
15. the MALE is expected to mind read at all times


ps please dont shoot the messanger lmao

fucken told ya--dark forces at work (lol)

[cowpoos]

The Rules
1. the FEMALE always makes THE eggs
2. THE eggs are subject to change at any time without prior notice by the male
3. no female can possibly deniy a man eggs
4. if the male suspects the eggs arn't cooked quick enough,he can demand toast aswell
5. the eggs are never burnt
6. if the FEMALE agues,she gets a slap!
7. the female must apologise for causing said misunderstanding
8. the MALE is always right
9. the MALE may be wrong,but the female still has to cook the man eggs
10. the man may change his mind at any time and demand a different cooking method
11. the eggs may never change without the express written consent of the male
12. the FEMALE has every right to be angry or upset at any time,but who cares
13. the female must remain calm at all times unless the male wants her to be angry and/or upset
14. the male must under no circumstances let the female know whether he wants her to be angry and/or upset
15. the MALE is expected to be feed at all times

cook me some eggs

{and read the above quote carefully}

[Patrick]

Ah lah Gentlemen from Once Were "Worriers"

[Swoop]

Women-Speak

FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks.
This will cause you to have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the "five minutes" that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.

NOTHING
This means something and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine."

GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows)
This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing," and will end with the word "Fine."

GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows)
This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care." You will get a Raised Eyebrow "Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine," and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing."

SOFT SIGH
Again, not a word but a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe and she will stay content.

THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is to be in some mighty big trouble.

PLEASE DO
This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay."

THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say you're welcome.

THANKS A LOT
This is much different than "Thanks." A woman will say "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing."

[SPman]

You have no rights - you are guilty as charged!!!

[Lazy7]

fuckem

10 chars

[Skyryder]

It is a foolish man who 'thinks' he's in charge and a foolish woman who lets him.

(Jacq Bernard)

Skyryder

[froggyfrenchman]

well you may all be pussywhipped bitches. But i can assure you that I have complete control of my life.


I think your wives are calling you all to do some washing and polish some silver

[Rossi Gal]

[QUOTE=Swoop]Women-Speak

hahahaha thats awesome. soo very spot on though.